Activism

Life After Domestic Violence: What My Work With Black Women Survivors Has Taught Me

Survivors sometimes lack awareness about the dynamics of healthy relationships, particularly when one has not been modeled for them at home. Media often minimizes domestic abuse, pushing the imagery of loyalty and love for one’s partner above everything — even harm.

Published

1 year ago

December 29, 2024

Oakland Post

Paméla Michelle Tate, Ph.D.

By Paméla Michelle Tate, Ph.D., California Black Media Partners

It was the Monday morning after her husband had a “situation” involving their child, resulting in food flying in the kitchen and a broken plate.

Before that incident, tensions had been escalating, and after years of unhappiness, she finally garnered enough courage to go to the courthouse to file for a divorce.

She was sent to an on-site workshop, and the process seemed to be going well until the facilitator asked, “Have you experienced domestic abuse?” She quickly replied, “No, my husband has never hit me.”

The facilitator continued the questionnaire and asked, “Has your husband been emotionally abusive, sexually abusive, financially abusive, technologically abusive, or spiritually abusive?”

She thought about how he would thwart her plans to spend time with family and friends, the arguments, and the many years she held her tongue. She reflected on her lack of access to “their money,” him snooping in her purse, checking her social media, computer, and emails, and the angry blowups where physical threats were made against both her and their children.

At that moment, she realized she had been in a long-suffering domestic abuse relationship.

After reading this, you might not consider the relationship described above as abusive — or you might read her account and wonder, “How didn’t she know that she was in an abusive relationship?”

After working with survivors at Black Women Revolt Against Domestic Violence in San Francisco, California, I have learned a great deal from a variety of survivors. Here are some insights:

Abuse thrives in isolation.
Societal tolerance of abusive behavior is prevalent in the media, workplaces, and even churches, although there are societal rules about the dos and don’ts in relationships.

Survivors are groomed into isolation.
Survivors are emotionally abused and manipulated almost from the beginning of their relationships through love-bombing. They are encouraged or coerced into their own little “love nest,” isolating them from family and friends.

People who harm can be charismatic and fun.
Those outside the relationship often struggle to believe the abuser would harm their partner until they witness or experience the abusive behavior firsthand.

Survivors fear judgment.
Survivors fear being judged by family, friends, peers, and coworkers and are afraid to speak out.

Survivors often still love their partners.
This is not Stockholm Syndrome; it’s love. Survivors remember the good times and don’t want to see their partner jailed; they simply want the abuse to stop.

The financial toll of abuse is devastating.
According to the Allstate Foundation’s study, 74% of survivors cite lack of money as the main reason for staying in abusive relationships. Financial abuse often prevents survivors from renting a place to stay. Compounding this issue is the lack of availability of domestic abuse shelters.

The main thing I have learned from this work is that survivors are resilient and the true experts of their own stories and their paths to healing. So, when you encounter a survivor, please take a moment to acknowledge their journey to healing and applaud their strength and progress.

About the Author

Paméla Michelle Tate, Ph.D., is executive director of Black Women Revolt Against Domestic Violence in San Francisco.

Oakland Post

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Activism

Chase Oakland Community Center Hosts Alley-Oop Accelerator Building Community and Opportunity for Bay Area Entrepreneurs

Over the past three years, the Alley-Oop Accelerator has helped more than 20 Bay Area businesses grow, connect, and gain meaningful exposure. The program combines hands-on training, mentorship, and community-building to help participants navigate the legal, financial, and marketing challenges of small business ownership.

Published

1 week ago

February 21, 2026

Oakland Post

Bay Area entrepreneurs attend the Alley-Oop Accelerator, a small business incubation program at Chase Oakland Community Center. Photo by Carla Thomas.

By Carla Thomas

The Golden State Warriors and Chase bank hosted the third annual Alley-Oop Accelerator this month, an empowering eight-week program designed to help Bay Area entrepreneurs bring their visions for business to life.

The initiative kicked off on Feb. 12 at Chase’s Oakland Community Center on Broadway Street, welcoming 15 small business owners who joined a growing network of local innovators working to strengthen the region’s entrepreneurial ecosystem.

At its core, the accelerator is designed to create an ecosystem of collaboration, where local entrepreneurs can learn from one another while accessing the resources of a global financial institution.

“This is our third year in a row working with the Golden State Warriors on the Alley-Oop Accelerator,” said Jaime Garcia, executive director of Chase’s Coaching for Impact team for the West Division. “We’ve already had 20-plus businesses graduate from the program, and we have 15 enrolled this year. The biggest thing about the program is really the community that’s built amongst the business owners — plus the exposure they’re able to get through Chase and the Golden State Warriors.”

According to Garcia, several graduates have gone on to receive vendor contracts with the Warriors and have gained broader recognition through collaborations with JPMorgan Chase.

“A lot of what Chase is trying to do,” Garcia added, “is bring businesses together because what they’ve asked for is an ecosystem, a network where they can connect, grow, and thrive organically.”

This year’s Alley-Oop Accelerator reflects that vision through its comprehensive curriculum and emphasis on practical learning. Participants explore the full spectrum of business essentials including financial management, marketing strategy, and legal compliance, while also preparing for real-world experiences such as pop-up market events.

Each entrepreneur benefits from one-on-one mentoring sessions through Chase’s Coaching for Impact program, which provides complimentary, personalized business consulting.

Garcia described the impact this hands-on approach has had on local small business owners. He recalled one candlemaker, who, after participating in the program, was invited to provide candles as gifts at Chase events.

“We were able to help give that business exposure,” he explained. “But then our team also worked with them on how to access capital to buy inventory and manage operations once those orders started coming in. It’s about preparation. When a hiccup happens, are you ready to handle it?”

The Coaching for Impact initiative, which launched in 2020 in just four cities, has since expanded to 46 nationwide.

“Every business is different,” Garcia said. “That’s why personal coaching matters so much. It’s life-changing.”

Participants in the 2026 program will each receive a $2,500 stipend, funding that Garcia said can make an outsized difference. “It’s amazing what some people can do with just $2,500,” he noted. “It sounds small, but it goes a long way when you have a plan for how to use it.”

For Chase and the Warriors, the Alley-Oop Accelerator represents more than an educational initiative, it’s a pathway to empowerment and economic inclusion. The program continues to foster lasting relationships among the entrepreneurs who, as Garcia put it, “build each other up” through shared growth and opportunity.

“Starting a business is never easy, but with the right support, it becomes possible, and even exhilarating,” said Oscar Lopez, the senior business consultant for Chase in Oakland.