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People Speak Out Against Hate Violence at Mill Valley Vigil

“I hurt for what it must be like to watch all this racial hatred in the world. The thing about violence is that no one is immune. When one of us is unsafe, all of us are unsafe. We are all related in our fight against hate and racism.”

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Activists with the Mill Valley Force for Racial Equity and Empowerment (MVFREE) held “A Vigil in Solidarity with Our Asian American & Pacific Islander Community” on the afternoon of Sunday, March 28.

The participants at the vigil, which was held at the Depot Plaza in downtown Mill Valley, responded to the recent violence against Asian Americans, and for the eight victims that were killed in Atlanta, Ga., last month.  

Several hundred people came to the vigil, which was hosted by the Mill Valley Force for Racial Equity and Empowerment (MVFREE), which was formerly known as the Mill Valley Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) Task Force.

Participants brought fresh flowers and arranged them on the sidewalk to construct a community art altar. 

“We need our community to stand strong like this every day. It takes action to create the change we need here in Mill Valley and in Marin County,” said Tammy Herndon, a member of the Mill Valley Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Task Force. “We all have to work, and it will take all of us to create the change that all of us here wants today.”

Oshalla Diane Marcus, who grew up in Marin City, said “Our history in this country is what it is. We came to America as a wave. Yet the myth of equality had often lulled our collective mind into amnesia. And we were quick to move to the next place without really looking at what is going on around us.” 

Marcus says that Blacks and Asians, especially the second-and third-generation Chinese-Americans, should look and recognize the connections that exist between their communities, and teach each other and their children about these connections and shared experiences. Both communities should also deepen their connections with each other and learn more about the strengths and difficulties that exist in each other’s communities. 

 “There is a lot of healing that we need to look at. There are many sides to the situation. If we are in a circle, there are no sides, there are only points of view. The issues are real and may be uncomfortable,” says  Marcus, “but at the same time, we can come together in dance, poetry, art, and music. People can lead the way with their creativity.”

A senior at Tamalpais High School, who is an immigrant, said what meant most to him were people who took an interest in his heritage. “We all learn and listen to each other. We are all here to heal each other,” he said, “We must bring an end to this hatred.”

Another woman expressed her sense of hurt on behalf of children.  “I hurt for what it must be like to watch all this racial hatred in the world. The thing about violence is that no one is immune. When one of us is unsafe, all of us are unsafe. We are all related in our fight against hate and racism.”

 

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Oakland Post: Week of May 14 – 20, 2025

The printed Weekly Edition of the Oakland Post: Week of May 14 – 20, 2025

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Activism

The Best Advice for Raising Children: Discipline That Makes Sense

In his book Developing Positive Self Images and Discipline in Black Children, Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu suggests that primary aims for socializing Black children should be: establishing goals related to God and the church; familiarizing children with religious texts like the Bible or Quran; educating them of Black culture like Khemetic (Egyptian) Civilization; enlightening them about Black leaders like Malcolm X and Sojourner Truth; and teaching them to strive to be employers, not employees.

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Headshot of Dr. William A. Thomas. Photo courtesy of Dr. William A. Thomas.
Headshot of Dr. William A. Thomas. Photo courtesy of Dr. William A. Thomas.

By William A. Thomas, Ph.D.

In many African societies, the primary aim of socialization is to raise children to be socially responsible and eventually provide economic support to their parents and extended families. Ghanaian philosopher Kwame Gyekye taught that children are raised to be respectful of the wishes of their parents and extended adult family members.

In his book Developing Positive Self Images and Discipline in Black Children, Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu suggests that primary aims for socializing Black children should be: establishing goals related to God and the church; familiarizing children with religious texts like the Bible or Quran; educating them of Black culture like Khemetic (Egyptian) Civilization; enlightening them about Black leaders like Malcolm X and Sojourner Truth; and teaching them to strive to be employers, not employees.

Effective disciplinary strategies appropriate to a child’s age and development teach them to regulate their behavior; keep them from harm; enhance their cognitive, social, and emotional executive functioning skills; and reinforce the behavioral patterns taught by their parents and caregivers.

Below are some specific guidelines for disciplining children.

Listen to what children are talking about with interest and show them you understand their feelings. Remember, children mirror and learn about their emotional selves by hearing their feelings reflected back to them. Staying on target also means avoiding labels. When children fail to do what is expected, discussing it is helpful rather than saying how stubborn, lazy, dumb, or bad they are. By the same token, more positive labels can be helpful.

Dependability is another essential component of the discipline process. When parents are dependable, their children learn what to expect and are helped to feel secure. When parents are consistent, children learn to trust, that is, predict their parents’ behaviors with certainty. A child thinks, “When I spill something, I will always be asked to wipe it up.” A child thinks, “If I use foul language, I will always be corrected.” A child thinks, “If I take something that doesn’t belong to me, I will always have to give it back.” The ability to predict with certainty leads children to rely on their parents and the village/community in which they live. Children feel safe when they know what to expect.

Conclusions

It takes a village/community to raise the divine gift that is the Black child. Parents look to therapists for guidance concerning a variety of parenting issues, including discipline. Keep in mind that evidence suggests that corporal punishment is both ineffective in the long term and associated with cognitive and mental health disorders. When parents want guidance about the use of spanking, a child therapist can explore parental feelings, help them better define the goals of discipline, and offer specific behavior management strategies. In addition to providing appropriate education to families, the Bay Area Association of Black Psychologists (Bay ABPsi) can refer them to community resources, like parenting groups and classes.

 About the Author

Dr. Thomas is a licensed clinical psychologist with a private practice in the SF/Oakland Bay Area and Beaumont. He is a member of Bay ABPsi, a healing resource committed to providing the Post Newspaper readership with monthly discussions about critical issues in Black Mental Health. Readers are welcome to join us at our monthly chapter meetings every 3rd Saturday via Zoom and contact us at bayareaabpsi@gmail.com.

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Oakland Post: Week of May 7 – 13, 2025

The printed Weekly Edition of the Oakland Post: Week of May 7 – 13, 2025

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