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The Bookworm Sez Book Review: “Make It Work”

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Marriage?  Not interested.

Nope, you’ve tried it and it’s not for you. Neither is love, apparently, as evidenced by the string of awful dates you’ve had lately. You know that having a bad relationship is easy. Having a good one takes effort, and it might start with “Making It Work” by Tony A. Gaskins, Jr.

You just want to be loved.

Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, that’s what everybody needs but not everyone has learned to do it right. Maybe early role models argued loudly or behind closed doors, leaving you with no template for disagreement. Maybe one parent slept around, imprinting a sense of insecurity. Or perhaps your childhood was peppered with lessons that just don’t work anymore.

Whatever you learned early in life, the first rule to keep now is to love yourself. You can’t know what you want in a partner unless you know what you want for you. Loving yourself is the basis of all good relationships.

Treat your body like the precious thing God intended. Stop being promiscuous, and don’t let your partner talk you into anything that’s wrong for you and what you want from a relationship.

“Keep your standards,” says Gaskins.

Pay close attention to potential mates: they’ll show you who they are and it’s up to you to see it. If you’re still falling in love, ask yourself seriously if you can live with their actions and ideals for the next four or five decades. Don’t put up with liars, name-callers, Mama’s Babies, profanity-users, or anyone who abuses substances.

“Be selfless” in your relationship by putting your partner first – and that means no secret-spilling to friends. Remember that both of you will bear the blame for any rift in the partnership. Learn how to disagree. And finally, know what’s worth breaking up over; prayer and a little soul-searching might surprise you.

“Make It Work” is absolutely not a book for everyone.

Page after page after page of it is filled with so many overgeneralizations that it’s almost laughable: the warning tones in the abundance of women-do-this, men-do-that scenarios feel like a marriage manual from the 1950s. The “female” is painted as a wily being, painfully desperate for love, using her body to “chase” a man; men are portrayed as being unable to think of anything but the bedroom. Readers are cautioned against having opposite-sex friends, because, well, one of you might not be able to maintain control. Yes, Eisenhower-Era readers, it’s that clichéd.

But then, just when you think your eyes have rolled plumb out of your head, author Tony A. Gaskins Jr. surprises readers with information that is so useful and real that you’ll gasp. It’s advice that makes incredible sense. And yes, it could help you do what the title promises.

Finding that, though, may be like a treasure hunt that yields rhinestones. Gleaning lessons you can use may be a lesson in frustration. Yes, this book is right for the right person, but for many readers, “Make It Work,” won’t.

“Make It Work” by Tony A. Gaskins, Jr., c.2019, Howard Books, $26.00 / $35.00 Canada, 240 pages.

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

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Arts and Culture

Kedrick Armstrong: New Music Director for the Oakland Symphony

The Oakland Symphony Announced Kedrick Armstrong as its Next Music Director. In addition to conducting the orchestra’s public concerts, Armstrong will also actively participate in the Oakland Symphony’s many education and community engagement programs, designed to inspire a love of music in people of all ages.

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Kedrick Armstrong is the new music director for the Oakland Symphony. Photo credit Scott Chernis.
Kedrick Armstrong is the new music director for the Oakland Symphony. Photo credit Scott Chernis.

By Post Staff

The Oakland Symphony Announced Kedrick Armstrong as its Next Music Director.
In addition to conducting the orchestra’s public concerts, Armstrong will also actively participate in the Oakland Symphony’s many education and community engagement programs, designed to inspire a love of music in people of all ages.

Armstrong is the successor to previous music director and Conductor Michael Morgan, who passed away in 2021 after a 30-year tenure at the Symphony.

Armstrong will open the Oakland Symphony 2024-2025 season on October 18.

Armstrong, who is 29 and hails from Georgetown, South Carolina, is currently the creative partner and principal conductor of the Knox-Galesburg Symphony.

The Chicago Tribune has praised Armstrong for his ability to “simply let the score speak for itself.” He enjoys a wide range of repertoire, spanning early music to premiering new works, using his joy and curiosity for all music to cultivate understanding and collaboration within diverse communities.
“I am deeply honored and grateful for the opportunity to serve as the new music director of the Oakland Symphony,” Armstrong said. “As a Black conductor, I find it humbling to stand on the shoulders of both Michael Morgan and Calvin Simmons,” the most recent and the first African American music directors of the Symphony, respectively.

Armstrong led three programs at the Symphony between 2022 and early 2024, which showcased his broad knowledge of the classical repertoire and enthusiasm for spotlighting diverse voices.
On his Oakland Symphony subscription debut on Feb. 16, Armstrong led the world premiere of “Here I Stand: Paul Robeson,” an oratorio by Carlos Simon on a libretto by Dan Harder, commissioned by the Oakland Symphony.

Armstrong was selected unanimously by the Oakland Symphony’s board of directors and musicians after an extensive two-year search.  “The search committee was overwhelmed by Kedrick’s scholarship and curiosity about all kinds of music, from classical and jazz to gospel and hip-hop,” said. Dr. Mieko Hatano, executive director of the Oakland Symphony. “We are thrilled to have him join us at the Oakland Symphony.”

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Arts and Culture

Faces Around the Bay Dr. Carl Blake, Pianist

Born in Liberty, Missouri, Carl Blake, a virtuoso and respected pianist, made his most recent migration to the East Bay in 1999. One might have seen him performing recently at Noontime Concerts in San Francisco, or at the Piedmont Center for the Arts in Oakland. He is Director of Music at The Church for the Fellowship of All Peoples in San Francisco. He was also co-organizer and collaborative pianist at Herbst Theater for The Majesty of the Spirituals concert in 2022 and has held several church positions in the Bay Area.

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Dr. Carl Blake
Dr. Carl Blake

By Barbara Fluhrer

Born in Liberty, Missouri, Carl Blake, a virtuoso and respected pianist, made his most recent migration to the East Bay in 1999.

One might have seen him performing recently at Noontime Concerts in San Francisco, or at the Piedmont Center for the Arts in Oakland. He is Director of Music at The Church for the Fellowship of All Peoples in San Francisco. He was also co-organizer and collaborative pianist at Herbst Theater for The Majesty of the Spirituals concert in 2022 and has held several church positions in the Bay Area.

Blake obtained a Bachelor of Music from Boston University and continued post-baccalaureate studies in Jamaica before earning a Master of Arts in Music at San Jose State University. He was the recipient of two Fulbright residencies in Honduras and completed a third residency at the University of St. Petersburg in Russia. He has a Doctor of Musical Arts from Cornell University.

At age 19, Blake, then an undergraduate piano major at Boston University, was “discovered” by Impresario Dr. W. Hazaiah Williams, who is the Founder and Director of Today’s Artists/Four Seasons Arts.

Williams honored Blake by awarding him the first Marian Anderson Young Artist Award.  Anderson personally presented the award at the Masonic Auditorium in S.F.  Subsequently, Blake was presented by Dr. Williams in his San Francisco debut at The Herbst Theatre. Williams subsidized a year of study abroad for Blake at the Paris Conservatory of Music. Additionally, Williams sponsored Blake’s New York Weill Hall debut, where he has performed twice since.  Blake performed several times at the Yachats Music Festival in Oregon.

Blake continues to perform nationally and abroad. His hobbies are reading, baking and travel. He says, “I’m still pumping ivories, as Belgian pianist Jeanne Stark described the disciplined practice of concert piano.”

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Arts and Culture

Oakland Jazz Great Offers Master Class as City Declares “John Handy Day”

World-renowned jazz master saxophonist John Handy, a McClymond’s High School graduate, was presented with a Mayor of Oakland Proclamation declaring Feb. 12, as John Handy Day in the city. Handy is most notably known as the featured saxophonist for Charles Mingus on “Goodbye Pork Pie Hat” from the album “Mingus Ah Um” (1959) and on “Hard Work” from his own album “Hard Work” (1976).

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(L-R) Del Handy, John Handy, Roger Glenn, and Joe Warner celebrate John Handy Day at Geoffrey’s Inner Circle, Oakland. Photo by Lady Bianca.
(L-R) Del Handy, John Handy, Roger Glenn, and Joe Warner celebrate John Handy Day at Geoffrey’s Inner Circle, Oakland. Photo by Lady Bianca.

By Conway Jones

World-renowned jazz master saxophonist John Handy, a McClymond’s High School graduate, was presented with a Mayor of Oakland Proclamation declaring Feb. 12, as John Handy Day in the city.

Handy is most notably known as the featured saxophonist for Charles Mingus on “Goodbye Pork Pie Hat” from the album “Mingus Ah Um” (1959) and on “Hard Work” from his own album “Hard Work” (1976).

“John Handy is a jazz icon and an inspiration to musicians everywhere,” said Ayo Brame, a 16-year-old Oakland tenor saxophone player who is enrolled at the Oakland School for the Arts.

In celebration of this day, the reception in downtown Oakland at Geoffrey’s Inner Circle was a gathering of artists, young and old, coming together in his honor and celebrating his 91st birthday.

Handy presented a Saxophone Colossus free masterclass for musicians. This class afforded a rare opportunity to learn about the saxophone from an aficionado. The class was free and open to all – saxophonists, vocalists, aficionados, students, and casual listeners.

“As a longtime friend for over 60 years, and fellow musician who has had numerous opportunities to share the stage with John, it has always been a pleasure performing with him and hearing his creative interpretations of the music and his gift of ease inspiring the next generation of jazz musicians,” said Roger Glenn, a multi-instrumentalist.

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