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Self-Love: The Greatest Love of All

February is a powerful month in the African-American psyche. It is Black History Month, and it includes Valentine’s Day. This is a time when we could focus both on loving and respecting ourselves and loving and appreciating our ancestry. We are a resilient people who have survived and thrived despite all efforts to extinguish us. There are forces at work which seek to degrade, humiliate and destroy us—and still, we persevere.

As Black psychologists, we are charged with helping our people achieve optimal mental health and wellness. How do we do that in a society wherein the powers that be have strategized to maintain their supremacy and our powerlessness? We must develop a love so strong that it cannot be overtaken by the opinions of those who would seek to defeat us.

During this month, we honor both our ancestors and those who are living who help to instill in us a sense of pride of being.

There are many notables who do this for us. Traditionally, we have honored Harriet Tubman, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, Malcolm X and so many others. Today, we look to President Obama, his Queen Michelle, Congressperson Barbara Lee and countless others. On a more personal level, our mothers, fathers, grandparents, and our children model for us and give us reasons for being.

As Black psychologists, we care for the individual, the family, and the community.  We do not need to follow traditions born of the dominant culture in order to cultivate our mental health. We must conceptualize our understandings of our mental health needs through principles that are steeped in our roots.

In ancient African beliefs, we come to love ourselves through our love of spirit, of other people, and of nature. Oshun, the Yoruba goddess of love, is proud of how we honor her by honoring one another. In African-Centered/Black Psychology and Spirituality, self is not defined as separate and individualized, but as an extension into others. We are part of the collective; we are interdependent and inescapably connected to each other.

Self-love is the love of being connected to and interlaced with the best in one another. Black self-love is an act of liberation from the hostile and negative influences of the culture in which we live. We express it through our art, music, dance, song, creativity, and storytelling. Historically, our music, dance, and songs have served as tools to remind us of what it means to be alive, to be spiritually aligned, and mentally well.

A demonstration is our beloved ancestor Whitney Houston’s anthem “The Greatest Love of All.” The lyrics of this classic rhythm and blues song are an expression of the importance of self-love:

“I believe the children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way

Show them all the beauty they possess inside

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be

I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadow

If I fail, if I succeed at least I lived as I believe.

No matter what they take from me, they can’t take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all is happening to me

I found the greatest love of all inside of me

Learning to love yourself…It is the greatest love of all.”

The singing, chanting, and understanding of this classic song reminds us that no one and no thing outside of ourselves can validate our worth. This is an inside job.

In America, we live in a culture that does not support our humanity, much less our self-worth. We have learned to cope in this society by relying on our deep inner sense of knowing and our willingness to express ourselves.

To be healthy, it is important that we remember that we are valuable and worthy of love, because we exist. Ancient African wisdom teaches us that we are spiritual people. We can decide to live a more joyful and Oshun-filled life by harnessing our spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional energies to assist us. There are everyday things, beyond Black History Month, that we can do for ourselves and our loved ones to support our understanding and knowing that we are worthy of love. Below you will find some strategies to support you.

Face each day with an attitude of gratitude. Focus on the good in you and in your life. Forgive your imperfections. Don’t give irrational ideas power. Example: “No one will ever love me.” Shift your attitude and self-talk. “I really love how well I get along with people.” Accept and appreciate yourself. Be gentle with your criticism. Assert yourself. Avoid taking on the burdens of others. Care, but do not carry. Embrace change. Cultivate a sense of mastery and control by setting goals and by working to attain them. Manage your time effectively. Take time to nurture yourself.

Engage in deep breathing. The single most relaxing thing you can do is deep relaxation. Visualize yourself in a peaceful place. Acupuncture and acupressure are helpful. Eat healthy foods. Exercise regularly and have a massage. Develop and use support systems: family, friends, coworkers. Give to others. It broadens your view and shifts your focus. Use support groups when facing challenging situations. Commune with the Universal Spirit with prayer and meditation. Live your higher beliefs. Connect with people who share your beliefs. Read inspirational materials. Worship with your spiritual (religious) systems.

During this month of love and remembrance, know that we are healthiest when we have a loving, giving spirit that connects similar spirits. Walk through life celebrating that our love of self through others is the Greatest Love of All.

This article is dedicated to the ambassador of Black love: Dr. Lige Dailey, Jr.

*The Association of Black Psychologists, Bay Area Chapter (ABPsi-Bay Area) is committed to providing the Post Newspaper readership with monthly discussions about critical issues in Black Mental Health. The ABPsi-Bay Area is a healing resource. We can be contacted at (bayareaabpsi@gmail.com) and readers are welcome to join with us at our monthly chapter and board meeting, every third Saturday at the West Oakland Youth Center from 10 a.m. – 12 noon. 

Sandra H. Smith, Ph.D. Psychological Consultant and ABPsi Bay Area Chapter Member

Sandra H. Smith, Ph.D. Psychological Consultant and ABPsi Bay Area Chapter Member

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#NNPA BlackPress

COMMENTARY: The National Protest Must Be Accompanied with Our Votes

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

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Dr. John E. Warren Publisher, San Diego Voice & Viewpoint
Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper. File photo..

By  Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper

As thousands of Americans march every week in cities across this great nation, it must be remembered that the protest without the vote is of no concern to Donald Trump and his administration.

In every city, there is a personal connection to the U.S. Congress. In too many cases, the member of Congress representing the people of that city and the congressional district in which it sits, is a Republican. It is the Republicans who are giving silent support to the destructive actions of those persons like the U.S. Attorney General, the Director of Homeland Security, and the National Intelligence Director, who are carrying out the revenge campaign of the President rather than upholding the oath of office each of them took “to Defend The Constitution of the United States.”

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

In California, the primary comes in June 2026. The congressional races must be a priority just as much as the local election of people has been so important in keeping ICE from acquiring facilities to build more prisons around the country.

“We the People” are winning this battle, even though it might not look like it. Each of us must get involved now, right where we are.

In this Black History month, it is important to remember that all we have accomplished in this nation has been “in spite of” and not “because of.” Frederick Douglas said, “Power concedes nothing without a struggle.”

Today, the struggle is to maintain our very institutions and history. Our strength in this struggle rests in our “collectiveness.” Our newspapers and journalists are at the greatest risk. We must not personally add to the attack by ignoring those who have been our very foundation, our Black press.

Are you spending your dollars this Black History Month with those who salute and honor contributions by supporting those who tell our stories? Remember that silence is the same as consent and support for the opposition. Where do you stand and where will your dollars go?

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Activism

Dorothy Lee Bolden: Uniting Domestic Workers

Domestic work followed Bolden beyond high school. According to sources from the New York Times, Bolden said she would wake “at 4 a.m. to leave home by 6 a.m., and be on the job by 8 a.m., perform all those duties necessary to the proper management of a household for eight hours, leave there by 4 p.m. to be home by 6 p.m. where I would do the same things I’ve done all over again for my own family.”

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Dorothy Lee Bolden. File photo.
Dorothy Lee Bolden. File photo.

By Tamara Shiloh

Her first experience with domestic work was at the age of nine. For $1.25 per week, Alabama-born Dorothy Lee Bolden (1923–2005), alongside her mother, washed soiled diapers for a White employer. Little did anyone know that this profession would spur Bolden to spearhead the movement for basic dignity and respect for generations of domestic workers.

Domestic work followed Bolden beyond high school. According to sources from the New York Times, Bolden said she would wake “at 4 a.m. to leave home by 6 a.m., and be on the job by 8 a.m., perform all those duties necessary to the proper management of a household for eight hours, leave there by 4 p.m. to be home by 6 p.m. where I would do the same things I’ve done all over again for my own family.”

It was Bolden’s experiences working as a domestic in 1940’s Atlanta that inspired her civil rights activism. A White female employer demanded that Bolden remain beyond her shift and wash dishes. Bolden refused. She was arrested and held in a county jail because “she was crazy.” There was no other reason for disobeying an order from a White person.

Bolden was never sentenced or institutionalized, but this event was the seed that grew into organization that would protect domestic workers across the United States: the National Domestic Workers Union of America.

Rosa Parks had made public transportation a major breeding ground for civil rights activism, so Bolden began organizing during the long bus rides her peers made to the wealthy neighborhoods. Many were fed up, working long hours for little pay, with little to no worker protections.

This organization of women would go on to fight for worker’s rights, create training programs, and teach workers to advocate for themselves. It was also important to Bolden to teach communication skills.

In the book Household Workers Unite, Bolden is quoted as saying: “You have to teach each maid how to negotiate… And this is the most important thing — communication. I would tell them it was up to them to communicate.”

But respect for Bolden’s activism was not shared by everyone. Although she consulted presidents Ford, Reagan, and Carter, she received several death threats from the Ku Klux Klan.

The New York Times reported that during the makings of an oral history project, Bolden said that “men claiming to be members of the KKK called her house and spoke about “whipping my behind,” but in coarser terms. “I told them any time they wanted to, come on over and grab it,” Bolden said during the interview. “It didn’t scare me, didn’t bother me. It made me angry. It made me determined to do what I had to do.”

Representative John Lewis of Georgia said that Bolden “spoke up, and she spoke out, and when she saw something that wasn’t fair, or just, or right, she would say something.”

The NDWU of America ran until the mid-1990s, but Bolden’s legacy lives on.

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Arts and Culture

Book Review: Books on Black History and Black Life for Kids

For the youngest reader, “As You Are: A Hope for Black Sons” by Kimberly A. Gordon Biddle, illustrated by David Wilkerson (Magination Press, $18.99) is a book for young Black boys and for their mothers. It’s a hope inside a prayer that the world treats a child gently, and it could make a great baby shower gift.

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Photo of Black History Month book covers by Terri Schlichenmeyer.
Photo of Black History Month book covers by Terri Schlichenmeyer.

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

Authors: Various, Copyright: c. 2025, 2026, Publishers: Various, SRPs: $17.99-$18.99, Page Counts: Various, 

Everybody in your family has stories to share.

Your parents have told you some, no doubt. Your grandparents have offered a few, too, and aunties and uncles have spun some good tales. But there’s so much more to know, so grab one of these great books and learn about Black History and Black life.

For the youngest reader, “As You Are: A Hope for Black Sons” by Kimberly A. Gordon Biddle, illustrated by David Wilkerson (Magination Press, $18.99) is a book for young Black boys and for their mothers. It’s a hope inside a prayer that the world treats a child gently, and it could make a great baby shower gift.

If someone said you couldn’t do something that you were clearly able to do, would you fight to do it anyhow?  In the new book, “Remember Her Name! Debbie Allen’s Rise to Fame” by Tami Charles, illustrated by Meredith Lucius (Charlesbridge, $17.99), a young girl in the Jim Crow South is told that she can’t dance because of the color of her skin.

She didn’t listen, though, and neither did her mother, who took her daughter to Mexico, where the girl soared! This is an inspiration for any 5-to-7-year-old; be sure to check out the back-of-the-book information, if you’re an adult fan.

Do you often hear your elders say things that sound like lessons?  They might be, so “Where There is Love: A Story of African Proverbs” by Shauntay Grant, illustrated by Leticia Moreno (Penguin Workshop, $18.99) is a book you’ll like. It’s a quick-to-read collection of short proverbs that you can say every day. Kids ages 4-to-6 will easily remember what they find in this book; again, look in the back for more information.

Surely, you love your neighborhood, which is why the tale inside “Main Street: A Community Story about Redlining” by Britt Hawthorne and Tiffany Jewell, illustrated by David Wilkerson (Penguin Kokila, $18.99) is a book for you.

Olivia’s neighborhood is having a block party, but she’s sad when no one shows up. That’s when she learns that “the government” is discriminating against the people and businesses near where she lives. So, what can she and her neighbors do? The answer might inspire 6-to-8-year-old kids to stand up to wrongs they see, and to help make their neighborhoods stronger and safer.

And finally, if a kid wants a book, where can they go to find it? In “I’m So Happy You’re Here: A Celebration of Library Joy” by Mychal Threets, illustrated by Lorraine Nam (Random House, $18.99) is a good introduction to the best of what a library has to offer. The freedom to walk into a library and borrow a book is the theme here, as is the sheer happiness of being welcomed, no matter who you are.  This is an easy book for kids as young as two and as old as five to enjoy.

On that note, if you want more, head to that library, or a nearby bookstore. They’ll be glad to see you. They’ve got stories to share.

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