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Self-Love: The Greatest Love of All

February is a powerful month in the African-American psyche. It is Black History Month, and it includes Valentine’s Day. This is a time when we could focus both on loving and respecting ourselves and loving and appreciating our ancestry. We are a resilient people who have survived and thrived despite all efforts to extinguish us. There are forces at work which seek to degrade, humiliate and destroy us—and still, we persevere.

As Black psychologists, we are charged with helping our people achieve optimal mental health and wellness. How do we do that in a society wherein the powers that be have strategized to maintain their supremacy and our powerlessness? We must develop a love so strong that it cannot be overtaken by the opinions of those who would seek to defeat us.

During this month, we honor both our ancestors and those who are living who help to instill in us a sense of pride of being.

There are many notables who do this for us. Traditionally, we have honored Harriet Tubman, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, Malcolm X and so many others. Today, we look to President Obama, his Queen Michelle, Congressperson Barbara Lee and countless others. On a more personal level, our mothers, fathers, grandparents, and our children model for us and give us reasons for being.

As Black psychologists, we care for the individual, the family, and the community.  We do not need to follow traditions born of the dominant culture in order to cultivate our mental health. We must conceptualize our understandings of our mental health needs through principles that are steeped in our roots.

In ancient African beliefs, we come to love ourselves through our love of spirit, of other people, and of nature. Oshun, the Yoruba goddess of love, is proud of how we honor her by honoring one another. In African-Centered/Black Psychology and Spirituality, self is not defined as separate and individualized, but as an extension into others. We are part of the collective; we are interdependent and inescapably connected to each other.

Self-love is the love of being connected to and interlaced with the best in one another. Black self-love is an act of liberation from the hostile and negative influences of the culture in which we live. We express it through our art, music, dance, song, creativity, and storytelling. Historically, our music, dance, and songs have served as tools to remind us of what it means to be alive, to be spiritually aligned, and mentally well.

A demonstration is our beloved ancestor Whitney Houston’s anthem “The Greatest Love of All.” The lyrics of this classic rhythm and blues song are an expression of the importance of self-love:

“I believe the children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way

Show them all the beauty they possess inside

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be

I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadow

If I fail, if I succeed at least I lived as I believe.

No matter what they take from me, they can’t take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all is happening to me

I found the greatest love of all inside of me

Learning to love yourself…It is the greatest love of all.”

The singing, chanting, and understanding of this classic song reminds us that no one and no thing outside of ourselves can validate our worth. This is an inside job.

In America, we live in a culture that does not support our humanity, much less our self-worth. We have learned to cope in this society by relying on our deep inner sense of knowing and our willingness to express ourselves.

To be healthy, it is important that we remember that we are valuable and worthy of love, because we exist. Ancient African wisdom teaches us that we are spiritual people. We can decide to live a more joyful and Oshun-filled life by harnessing our spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional energies to assist us. There are everyday things, beyond Black History Month, that we can do for ourselves and our loved ones to support our understanding and knowing that we are worthy of love. Below you will find some strategies to support you.

Face each day with an attitude of gratitude. Focus on the good in you and in your life. Forgive your imperfections. Don’t give irrational ideas power. Example: “No one will ever love me.” Shift your attitude and self-talk. “I really love how well I get along with people.” Accept and appreciate yourself. Be gentle with your criticism. Assert yourself. Avoid taking on the burdens of others. Care, but do not carry. Embrace change. Cultivate a sense of mastery and control by setting goals and by working to attain them. Manage your time effectively. Take time to nurture yourself.

Engage in deep breathing. The single most relaxing thing you can do is deep relaxation. Visualize yourself in a peaceful place. Acupuncture and acupressure are helpful. Eat healthy foods. Exercise regularly and have a massage. Develop and use support systems: family, friends, coworkers. Give to others. It broadens your view and shifts your focus. Use support groups when facing challenging situations. Commune with the Universal Spirit with prayer and meditation. Live your higher beliefs. Connect with people who share your beliefs. Read inspirational materials. Worship with your spiritual (religious) systems.

During this month of love and remembrance, know that we are healthiest when we have a loving, giving spirit that connects similar spirits. Walk through life celebrating that our love of self through others is the Greatest Love of All.

This article is dedicated to the ambassador of Black love: Dr. Lige Dailey, Jr.

*The Association of Black Psychologists, Bay Area Chapter (ABPsi-Bay Area) is committed to providing the Post Newspaper readership with monthly discussions about critical issues in Black Mental Health. The ABPsi-Bay Area is a healing resource. We can be contacted at (bayareaabpsi@gmail.com) and readers are welcome to join with us at our monthly chapter and board meeting, every third Saturday at the West Oakland Youth Center from 10 a.m. – 12 noon. 

Sandra H. Smith, Ph.D. Psychological Consultant and ABPsi Bay Area Chapter Member

Sandra H. Smith, Ph.D. Psychological Consultant and ABPsi Bay Area Chapter Member

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Activism

Building Bridges of Support: How AAPI Equity Alliance Is Strengthening California’s Anti-Hate Network

In May 2022, Patricia Roque said she and her parents were attacked after a late-night stop at a fast-food drive-thru in Southern California. After hitting their car, the other driver pulled alongside them and mocked them using a racist Asian accent. Then, he threatened to kill them. The situation escalated when the man returned while the family was waiting for police and assaulted Roque’s father, fracturing his rib and choking her mother before bystanders intervened. 

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Patricia Roque (far right) pictured with her family at a Stop Asian Hate rally after her father's assault (far left). (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)
Patricia Roque (far right) pictured with her family at a Stop Asian Hate rally after her father's assault (far left). (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

By Edward Henderson

When Aurelle Garner stepped out of her car one summer evening and saw a group of youths marching down her street, her stomach dropped.

What had begun as slurs hurled at her and her transgender children at a local park had escalated to violent pounding on their front door. Garner said that, before that incident, local law enforcement had repeatedly minimized her reports of harassment.

It was not until she contacted the Legal Department at The LGBTQ Center Long Beach that her family finally found help.

“I don’t know where we’d be if it weren’t for their help,” Garner, who lives in Southern California, said. “They didn’t just give legal advice. They helped us navigate a system that had otherwise dismissed us.”

Aurelle Garner, who received services from The LGBTQ Center Long Beach (Sponsored by AAPI Equity Alliance) to aid her transgender children. (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

Aurelle Garner, who received services from The LGBTQ Center Long Beach (Sponsored by AAPI Equity Alliance) to aid her transgender children. (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

That support exists because The LGBTQ Center Long Beach does not work in isolation.

The Center partners with the AAPI Equity Alliance under California’s Stop the Hate program, a statewide coalition aimed at preventing hate and supporting survivors.

As the Los Angeles County Regional Lead, AAPI Equity Alliance works with the Center and dozens of other community-based organizations to connect people to legal aid, mental health services, and support. The programs also work in tandem with CA vs Hate, the state’s anti-hate hotline and virtual reporting system that connects people across California with organizations like the LGBTQ Center Long Beach – that provide support services

Garner’s experience illustrates the kind of harm that often falls outside the narrow legal definition of a hate crime but still leaves families traumatized and unsafe. It also shows how AAPI Equity Alliance’s leadership in the Stop the Hate ecosystem translates state funding and policy into real, on-the-ground support.

Patricia Roque (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

Patricia Roque (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

In May 2022, Patricia Roque said she and her parents were attacked after a late-night stop at a fast-food drive-thru in Southern California. After hitting their car, the other driver pulled alongside them and mocked them using a racist Asian accent. Then, he threatened to kill them. The situation escalated when the man returned while the family was waiting for police and assaulted Roque’s father, fracturing his rib and choking her mother before bystanders intervened.

“The police arrived long after it was over,” Roque told California Black Media (CBM). “By then, the damage was already done.”

The following day, Roque’s family was connected to the Filipino Migrant Center (FMC), a community-based organization that has received Stop the Hate funding and works within the broader AAPI Equity Alliance network. FMC provided immediate support — helping the family navigate legal options, organizing emergency financial assistance to cover medical bills and missed work, and offering emotional and community care while the criminal case unfolded.

“But the process is long and complicated. When you need help right away, that delay is a huge barrier. FMC was there immediately,”Rogue said.

The criminal case did not result in the accountability the family hoped for. But Roque said the support she received transformed her relationship to her community and to advocacy.

“Before this, I wasn’t involved in organizing at all,” she said. “Through this process, I realized my voice mattered. FMC helped turn something traumatic into a way to support others and push for change.”

Stories like Garner’s and Roque’s are part of a much larger reckoning that began at the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, when Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders across the country experienced a surge in harassment, discrimination, and violence fueled by racist rhetoric.

Filipino Migrant Center stands in solidarity against Anti-Asian Violence (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

Filipino Migrant Center stands in solidarity against Anti-Asian Violence (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

In response, AAPI Equity Alliance partnered with San Francisco’s Chinese for Affirmative Action and the Asian American Studies Department at San Francisco State University to launch Stop AAPI Hate in March 2020. Since then, the project has collected more than 9,000 reports nationwide documenting incidents ranging from verbal harassment and workplace discrimination to physical assault and child bullying.

“People tend to think about hate only when it turns violent,” said Kiran Bhalla of AAPI Equity Alliance. “But there are everyday acts of discrimination that people endure constantly. Without some kind of recourse, that harm just keeps going.”

The data helped spur unprecedented action in California. In 2021, the State Legislature passed the $165.5 million Asian Pacific Islander Equity Budget, signed by Gov. Gavin Newsom. Of that total, $110 million was dedicated to victim services, education, and outreach. In August 2023, California invested an additional $40 million to expand California’s Stop the Hate program to serve a broader range of communities affected by hate and discrimination.

Today, the program supports roughly 100 nonprofit organizations statewide. As Los Angeles County Regional Lead, AAPI Equity Alliance coordinates grantees, facilitates cross-community collaboration, and helps ensure services reach those most impacted.

A recently released survey estimated that approximately 3.1 million Californians directly experienced hate, with Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islanders, Black or African Americans, and other communities of color, including Asian Americans, among those most likely to experience hate.

Black Californians, however, remain the most targeted group when it comes to reported hate crimes.

Nearly 48% of Asian American and Pacific Islander adults in California reported experiencing a hate incident in 2024, according to Stop AAPI Hate research. Most incidents were not criminal, leaving survivors with little recourse through the legal system.

That gap is precisely where AAPI Equity Alliance and its partners focus their work. The Stop the Hate framework prioritizes non-carceral responses, recognizing that policing alone often fails survivors and can further harm Black, brown, and immigrant communities.

Instead, the work centers on data and research, policy advocacy, community care, and public education. Through school-based programs, legal advocacy, emergency assistance, and survivor-centered services, the network aims to interrupt cycles of harm before they escalate.

For survivors like Garner and Roque, that support has made the difference between enduring trauma in silence and finding a path toward healing and collective power.

“When people experience hate, there’s often a profound sense of isolation,” Bhalla said. “This work helps people get back to school, back to work, back to their lives. It reminds them they’re not alone.”

Get Support After Hate:

California vs Hate is a non-emergency, multilingual hotline and online portal offering confidential support for hate crimes and incidents. Victims and witnesses can get help anonymously by calling 833-8-NO-HATE (833-866-4283), Monday to Friday, 9 a.m.–6 p.m. PT, or online at any time. Anonymous. Confidential. No Police. No ICE.This story was produced in partnership with CA vs Hate. Join them for the first-ever CA Civil Rights Summit on May 11, 2026. More information at www.cavshate.org/summit.

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#NNPA BlackPress

COMMENTARY: The National Protest Must Be Accompanied with Our Votes

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

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Dr. John E. Warren Publisher, San Diego Voice & Viewpoint
Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper. File photo..

By  Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper

As thousands of Americans march every week in cities across this great nation, it must be remembered that the protest without the vote is of no concern to Donald Trump and his administration.

In every city, there is a personal connection to the U.S. Congress. In too many cases, the member of Congress representing the people of that city and the congressional district in which it sits, is a Republican. It is the Republicans who are giving silent support to the destructive actions of those persons like the U.S. Attorney General, the Director of Homeland Security, and the National Intelligence Director, who are carrying out the revenge campaign of the President rather than upholding the oath of office each of them took “to Defend The Constitution of the United States.”

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

In California, the primary comes in June 2026. The congressional races must be a priority just as much as the local election of people has been so important in keeping ICE from acquiring facilities to build more prisons around the country.

“We the People” are winning this battle, even though it might not look like it. Each of us must get involved now, right where we are.

In this Black History month, it is important to remember that all we have accomplished in this nation has been “in spite of” and not “because of.” Frederick Douglas said, “Power concedes nothing without a struggle.”

Today, the struggle is to maintain our very institutions and history. Our strength in this struggle rests in our “collectiveness.” Our newspapers and journalists are at the greatest risk. We must not personally add to the attack by ignoring those who have been our very foundation, our Black press.

Are you spending your dollars this Black History Month with those who salute and honor contributions by supporting those who tell our stories? Remember that silence is the same as consent and support for the opposition. Where do you stand and where will your dollars go?

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Activism

Dorothy Lee Bolden: Uniting Domestic Workers

Domestic work followed Bolden beyond high school. According to sources from the New York Times, Bolden said she would wake “at 4 a.m. to leave home by 6 a.m., and be on the job by 8 a.m., perform all those duties necessary to the proper management of a household for eight hours, leave there by 4 p.m. to be home by 6 p.m. where I would do the same things I’ve done all over again for my own family.”

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Dorothy Lee Bolden. File photo.
Dorothy Lee Bolden. File photo.

By Tamara Shiloh

Her first experience with domestic work was at the age of nine. For $1.25 per week, Alabama-born Dorothy Lee Bolden (1923–2005), alongside her mother, washed soiled diapers for a White employer. Little did anyone know that this profession would spur Bolden to spearhead the movement for basic dignity and respect for generations of domestic workers.

Domestic work followed Bolden beyond high school. According to sources from the New York Times, Bolden said she would wake “at 4 a.m. to leave home by 6 a.m., and be on the job by 8 a.m., perform all those duties necessary to the proper management of a household for eight hours, leave there by 4 p.m. to be home by 6 p.m. where I would do the same things I’ve done all over again for my own family.”

It was Bolden’s experiences working as a domestic in 1940’s Atlanta that inspired her civil rights activism. A White female employer demanded that Bolden remain beyond her shift and wash dishes. Bolden refused. She was arrested and held in a county jail because “she was crazy.” There was no other reason for disobeying an order from a White person.

Bolden was never sentenced or institutionalized, but this event was the seed that grew into organization that would protect domestic workers across the United States: the National Domestic Workers Union of America.

Rosa Parks had made public transportation a major breeding ground for civil rights activism, so Bolden began organizing during the long bus rides her peers made to the wealthy neighborhoods. Many were fed up, working long hours for little pay, with little to no worker protections.

This organization of women would go on to fight for worker’s rights, create training programs, and teach workers to advocate for themselves. It was also important to Bolden to teach communication skills.

In the book Household Workers Unite, Bolden is quoted as saying: “You have to teach each maid how to negotiate… And this is the most important thing — communication. I would tell them it was up to them to communicate.”

But respect for Bolden’s activism was not shared by everyone. Although she consulted presidents Ford, Reagan, and Carter, she received several death threats from the Ku Klux Klan.

The New York Times reported that during the makings of an oral history project, Bolden said that “men claiming to be members of the KKK called her house and spoke about “whipping my behind,” but in coarser terms. “I told them any time they wanted to, come on over and grab it,” Bolden said during the interview. “It didn’t scare me, didn’t bother me. It made me angry. It made me determined to do what I had to do.”

Representative John Lewis of Georgia said that Bolden “spoke up, and she spoke out, and when she saw something that wasn’t fair, or just, or right, she would say something.”

The NDWU of America ran until the mid-1990s, but Bolden’s legacy lives on.

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