Activism

Healing Domestic Violence: “It has to be Heart Stuff’

Black people must learn to “leverage our allies in support of our goals,” even if those allies aren’t Black. She explained that others could and are willing to give resources, but she is an advocate for Black people setting their own agenda.

Published

4 years ago

March 15, 2022

Oakland Post

Charlene Muhammad | Special to the Oakland Post

Wilhelmenia “Mina” Wilson, executive director of Healthy Black Families, Inc., in Berkeley grew in a nuclear family in the Bay Area.

Her parents met in college and were each other’s first love. Still, there was trauma.

As Ms. Wilson grew older, she went through her own traumatic experiences. As a young woman, she, too, became a victim to domestic violence.

“The only way I was able to save myself was to remove myself. And not only did I leave the environment, but he knew where I worked. I left my job. I left and created a new life for myself,” she said. “And in removing myself, what I had to do also was stay by myself until I could heal myself. And that took some years.”

To overcome her trauma, Wilson employed some of the techniques she now shares with others as the executive director of Healthy Black Families, Inc.

“I had to learn myself. I had to unpack my trauma. I had to learn to love myself again. And then that allowed me to navigate relationships in a different way,” she said. “So, I’m not really talking from what I think. I’m really talking from what I know, from my own personal experience, and I’d love to try this and see if it works successfully at a macro level as it did for me on a micro one.”

In an interview with Post News Group, Ms. Wilson provided her views on the root causes of domestic violence and proposed several viable solutions.

“When you subject people to lack of human dignity, when people don’t have their basic needs met, that begets a lot of different types of negative behaviors,” she said.

She attributed the causes of domestic violence to how the capitalist system sometimes devalues Black people, and Black women in particular — both of which, from her view, are rooted in slavery. Black women were a commodity, and Black men were vulnerable because they could not protect Black women and were slaughtered when they attempted to, she said.

Fast forward to 2022 and the “same type of socioeconomic structure exists today as it did then. Black poverty is high. Black unemployment is high. Black folks still are fewer as far as home ownership,” she added.

With that month-to-month struggle for sustenance paired with the lack of options to support people’s needs, “people tend to implode upon each other,” Wilson said.

She said when she thinks about solutions to domestic violence, she thinks about how to detach from the system that wants to manipulate and capitalize on Black people, how to gain deeper knowledge of self and how to create new pathways of life and livelihood.

Some solutions she offered included: tackling poverty and the socioeconomic structure by creating an economy within the Black community and buying Black; supporting underfunded grassroots organizations that are grounded in the community; establishing programs and vocational training for children and the community; getting into agriculture and urban farming; and building infrastructure and offering support services.

Related to the solution on economics, she said Black people must learn to “leverage our allies in support of our goals,” even if those allies aren’t Black. She explained that others could and are willing to give resources, but she is an advocate for Black people setting their own agenda.

Wilson especially noted the importance of mastering self, bringing up Biblical figures like Jesus as examples.

“They had done self-mastery, and they had learned universal law. And they knew how to walk in the world so they could be creative energies,” she said.

She recalled a course she took offered by Dr. Ishmael Tetteh, a spiritual teacher from Ghana, on “soul processing.” Students were asked to make a timeline of their entire lives. Tetteh labeled the painful parts of their lives as “cud,” which is partly digested food that a cow continues to chew on.

“Those painful experiences are like cud in our spirit, and we continue to chew on them. And he said, the goal of this life soul processing is to break apart those cud patches and then redefine them in a way that serves you,” Wilson said.

She said as Black people in America, “all of us have trauma” that need to be unpacked.

Another solution she proposed was creating spaces that are culturally authentic where Black people can heal together. But she said the first step is unpacking the pain that fuels the violence.

“Oftentimes that means you have to move people away from each other so that they can do their own healing,” she said, because “it’s hard to heal with people who have harmed you.”

Necessary infrastructure for her includes safe houses and community-based intervention.

“If it’s a mom and kids, where do we put them while we work out the situation, and with the man who’s doing it, how do we get them into a situation where they can do some anger management rather than criminalize everything?” she questioned.

When Wilson experienced domestic violence, a woman she had been close to helped her out.

“She talked to me, and she was the person who made space for my healing. She let me stay with her for a while. And so, fast forward, years go by, I get my act together. And I think about her, and I go back to her and I’m like, ‘I don’t know how to thank you for what you did for me,’” Wilson recalled.

“And she was like, ‘Girl, what you don’t get is that it’s not even about me.’ She’s like, ‘The only reason that I am here to do this for you is because there was some woman who did it for me.’ And she said, ‘So you don’t owe me anything.’” She said, “‘What you owe is you got to step up and do it for someone else when you see a need.’”

Wilson says she lives her life trying to hold true to that advice.

“And I think we have to proceed with that kind of heart in order to really heal people. It can’t just be tactical stuff. It has to be human stuff. It has to be heart stuff,” she said.

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Up Next

New California Law Considers “Full Context” of Domestic Abuse Survivors’ Lives

Don't Miss

Don’t Criminalize Domestic Violence Survivors, Advocates Say

Oakland Post

Click to comment

Activism

Big God Ministry Gives Away Toys in Marin City

Pastor Hall also gave a message of encouragement to the crowd, thanking Jesus for the “best year of their lives.” He asked each of the children what they wanted to be when they grow up.

Published

2 days ago

December 29, 2025

Oakland Post

From top left: Pastor David Hall asking the children what they want to be when they grow up. Worship team Jake Monaghan, Ruby Friedman, and Keri Carpenter. Children lining up to receive their presents. Photos by Godfrey Lee.

By Godfrey Lee

Big God Ministries, pastored by David Hall, gave toys to the children in Marin City on Monday, Dec. 15, on the lawn near the corner of Drake Avenue and Donahue Street.

Pastor Hall also gave a message of encouragement to the crowd, thanking Jesus for the “best year of their lives.” He asked each of the children what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Around 75 parents and children were there to receive the presents, which consisted mainly of Gideon Bibles, Cat in the Hat pillows, Barbie dolls, Tonka trucks, and Lego building sets.

A half dozen volunteers from the Big God Ministry, including Donnie Roary, helped to set up the tables for the toy giveaway. The worship music was sung by Ruby Friedman, Keri Carpenter, and Jake Monaghan, who also played the accordion.

Big God Ministries meets on Sundays at 10 a.m. at the Mill Valley Community Center, 180 Camino Alto, Mill Valley, CA Their phone number is (415) 797-2567.

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Activism

First 5 Alameda County Distributes Over $8 Million in First Wave of Critical Relief Funds for Historically Underpaid Caregivers

“Family, Friend, and Neighbor caregivers are lifelines for so many children and families in Alameda County,” said Kristin Spanos, CEO, First 5 Alameda County. “Yet, they often go unrecognized and undercompensated for their labor and ability to give individualized, culturally connected care. At First 5, we support the conditions that allow families to thrive, and getting this money into the hands of these caregivers and families at a time of heightened financial stress for parents is part of that commitment.”

Published

2 days ago

December 29, 2025

Oakland Post

Costco. Courtesy image.

Family, Friend, and Neighbor Caregivers Can Now Opt Into $4,000 Grants to Help Bolster Economic Stability and Strengthen Early Learning Experiences

By Post Staff

Today, First 5 Alameda County announced the distribution of $4,000 relief grants to more than 2,000 Family, Friend, and Neighbor (FFN) caregivers, totaling over $8 million in the first round of funding. Over the full course of the funding initiative, First 5 Alameda County anticipates supporting over 3,000 FFN caregivers, who collectively care for an estimated 5,200 children across Alameda County. These grants are only a portion of the estimated $190 million being invested into expanding our early childcare system through direct caregiver relief to upcoming facilities, shelter, and long-term sustainability investments for providers fromMeasure C in its first year. This investment builds on the early rollout of Measure C and reflects a comprehensive, system-wide strategy to strengthen Alameda County’s early childhood ecosystem so families can rely on sustainable, accessible care,

These important caregivers provide child care in Alameda County to their relatives, friends, and neighbors. While public benefits continue to decrease for families, and inflation and the cost of living continue to rise, these grants provide direct economic support for FFN caregivers, whose wages have historically been very low or nonexistent, and very few of whom receive benefits. As families continue to face growing financial pressures, especially during the winter and holiday season, these grants will help these caregivers with living expenses such as rent, utilities, supplies, and food.

The funding for these relief grants comes from Measure C, a local voter-approved sales tax in Alameda County that invests in young children, their families, communities, providers, and caregivers. Within the first year of First 5’s 5-Year Plan for Measure C, in addition to the relief grants to informal FFN caregivers, other significant investments will benefit licensed child care providers. These investments include over $40 million in Early Care and Education (ECE) Emergency Grants, which have already flowed to nearly 800 center-based and family child care providers. As part of First 5’s 5-Year Plan, preparations are also underway to distribute facilities grants early next year for child care providers who need to make urgent repairs or improvements, and to launch the Emergency Revolving Fund in Spring 2026 to support licensed child care providers in Alameda County who are at risk of closure.

The FFN Relief Grants recognize and support the essential work that an estimated 3,000 FFN caregivers provide to 5,200 children in Alameda County. There is still an opportunity to receive funds for FFN caregivers who have not yet received them.

In partnership with First 5 Alameda County, Child Care Payment Agencies play a critical role in identifying eligible caregivers and leading coordinated outreach efforts to ensure FFN caregivers are informed of and able to access these relief funds.FFN caregivers are eligible for the grant if they receive a child care payment from an Alameda County Child Care Payment Agency, 4Cs of Alameda County, BANANAS, Hively, and Davis Street, and are currently caring for a child 12 years old or younger in Alameda County. Additionally, FFN caregivers who provided care for a child 12 years or younger at any time since April 1, 2025, but are no longer doing so, are also eligible for the funds. Eligible caregivers are being contacted by their Child Care Payment Agency on a rolling basis, beginning with those who provided care between April and July 2025.

“This money is coming to me at a critical time of heightened economic strain,” said Jill Morton, a caregiver in Oakland, California. “Since I am a non-licensed childcare provider, I didn’t think I was eligible for this financial support. I was relieved that this money can help pay my rent, purchase learning materials for the children as well as enhance childcare, buy groceries and take care of grandchildren.”

Eligible FFN caregivers who provided care at any time between April 1, 2025 and July 31, 2025, who haven’t yet opted into the process, are encouraged to check their mail and email for an eligibility letter. Those who have cared for a child after this period should expect to receive communications from their child care payment agency in the coming months. FFN caregivers with questions may also contact the agency they work with to receive child care payments, or the First 5 Alameda help desk, Monday through Friday, from 9 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. PST, at 510-227-6964. The help desk will be closed 12/25/25 – 1/1/26. Additional grant payments will be made on a rolling basis as opt-ins are received by the four child care payment agencies in Alameda County.

Beginning in the second year of Measure C implementation, FFN caregivers who care for a child from birth to age five and receive an Alameda County subsidized voucher will get an additional $500 per month. This amounts to an annual increase of about $6,000 per child receiving a subsidy. Together with more Measure C funding expected to flow back into the community as part of First 5’s 5-Year Plan, investments will continue to become available in the coming year for addressing the needs of childcare providers in Alameda County.

About First 5 Alameda County

First 5 Alameda County builds the local childhood systems and supports needed to ensure our county’s youngest children are safe, healthy, and ready to succeed in school and life.

Our Mission

In partnership with the community, we support a county-wide continuous prevention and early intervention system that promotes optimal health and development, narrows disparities, and improves the lives of children from birth to age five and their families.

Our Vision

Every child in Alameda County will have optimal health, development, and well-being to reach their greatest potential.

Learn more at www.first5alameda.org.

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Activism

2025 in Review: Seven Questions for Assemblymember Lori Wilson — Advocate for Equity, the Environment, and More

Her rise has also included several historic firsts: she is the only Black woman ever appointed to lead the influential Assembly Transportation Committee, and the first freshman legislator elected Chair of the California Legislative Black Caucus. She has also been a vocal advocate for vulnerable communities, becoming the first California legislator to publicly discuss being the parent of a transgender child — an act of visibility that has helped advanced representation at a time when political tensions related to social issues and culture have intensified.

Published

2 days ago

December 29, 2025

Oakland Post

Assemblymember Lori D. Wilson (D-Suisun City). File photo.

By Edward Henderson, California Black Media

Assemblymember Lori D. Wilson (D-Suisun City) joined the California Legislature in 2022 after making history as Solano County’s first Black female mayor, bringing with her a track record of fiscal discipline, community investment, and inclusive leadership.

She represents the state’s 11th Assembly District, which spans Solano County and portions of Contra Costa and Sacramento Counties.

California Black Media spoke with Wilson about her successes and disappointments this year and her outlook for 2026.

What stands out as your most important achievement this year?

Getting SB 237 passed in the Assembly. I had the opportunity to co-lead a diverse workgroup of colleagues, spanning a wide range of ideological perspectives on environmental issues.

How did your leadership contribute to improving the lives of Black Californians this year?

The Black Caucus concentrated on the Road to Repair package and prioritized passing a crucial bill that remained incomplete during my time as chair, which establishes a process for identifying descendants of enslaved people for benefit eligibility.

What frustrated you the most this year?

The lack of progress made on getting Prop 4 funds allocated to socially disadvantaged farmers. This delay has real consequences. These farmers have been waiting for essential support that was promised. Watching the process stall, despite the clear need and clear intent of the voters, has been deeply frustrating and reinforces how much work remains to make our systems more responsive and equitable.

What inspired you the most this year?

The resilience of Californians persists despite the unprecedented attacks from the federal government. Watching people stay engaged, hopeful, and determined reminded me why this work matters and why we must continue to protect the rights of every community in our state.

What is one lesson you learned this year that will inform your decision-making next year?

As a legislator, I have the authority to demand answers to my questions — and accept nothing less. That clarity has strengthened my approach to oversight and accountability.

In one word, what is the biggest challenge Black Californians are facing currently?

Affordability and access to quality educational opportunities.

What is the goal you want to achieve most in 2026?

Advance my legislative agenda despite a complex budget environment. The needs across our communities are real, and even in a tight fiscal year, I’m committed to moving forward policies that strengthen safety, expand opportunity, and improve quality of life for the people I represent.