Commentary

COMMENTARY: 8 tips for visiting the sick

MINNESOTA SPOKESMAN -RECORDER —

Published

8 years ago

March 11, 2019

Juliet Mitchell

By Juliet Mitchell

“When… I was sick… you visited me.” Matthew 25:36

It’s not a happy subject to discuss, but it’s inevitable that human bodies will experience sickness, disease or break down. Since this is a fact of life, a part of the human condition, we are likely to be called upon to visit someone who is sick at some point.

So, let’s get real about this whole visiting the sick thang, y’all. Yes, my southern girl is coming out. Yes, I’m a GRITS (Girl Raised in the South). Growing up in the South around a close-knit community of relatives and friends, acquaintances and even strangers, visiting the sick was as much a part of life as farming, canning and going to church.

As good family, good community members and good church folk, you cooked some food, packed it up, cleaned yourself up and went to visit. Visiting included laughing (if the person was up to it), talking (if the person had the interest, strength or energy), listening (if the person wanted to listen), and sometimes sitting quietly.

Your visit may have required feeding, cleaning (yes, even cleaning the person — especially relatives and close, close friends) and sadly, sometimes that visit meant shedding some tears.

We know that at any age, sick and disease can take hold to our frail human bodies; however, as our population ages, it’s more likely that we will be visiting our elders as they approach the end of life.

I’ve spoken to medical professionals, clergy and caregivers and gathered etiquette considerations for visiting those persons.

8 life etiquette tips for visiting the sick

Please call and arrange a time to visit. There are numerous considerations concerning time, feeding, bathing, dispensing of medication and a sleep schedule. Do not be offended if the caregiver gives you specific times to visit rather than allowing you to stop by at your convenience.
Ask if it’s OK to bring something for the sick person to eat or drink. That person may be on a restricted diet or may not be taking food at all.
On that note, it is also considerate to bring something for the family/other visitors if you’re visiting a home. If you do not know the person’s likes and dislikes, ask. Some general things that are usually needed include bottled water and/or juice; fruit, sandwich fixings, prepared meals. Remember to include paper towels, napkins, even disposable cutlery and cups. We live in a diverse world, so, again, if you don’t know, ask.
Be as clean as you can and be prepared to take your shoes off if visiting a home (bring clean indoor shoes if you must wear shoes). Also, be prepared to wash your hands, use sanitizer and/or wear a mask.
Be willing to sit in silence. Your presence and your positive energy are important, not necessarily a whole lot of chatter. I’ve actually been told that too much talking can be disturbing to the sick.
While we’re on the topic of speaking, remember to tone it down. Some of us can be too loud. You might say, “Well, I’m just loud” or “That’s just the way I talk!” But this isn’t about you. Keep the volume low.
Keep your visits short. A 10-, 15- or 20-minute visit is long enough. I know that it may seem cold, but according to my “research,” — depending on the degree and extent of the illness — the energy of visitors can be “draining” and de-energizing for the person who is ill.
Should you bring flowers or a gift? Well, that depends. Again, ask. Besides the physical and emotional aspects of caring for the ill, families and caregivers are often faced with the stress, weight and worry of financial demands, as well. Perhaps a gift card or a monetary gift would better help to meet the needs of that family.

Do you have any etiquette tips related to visiting the sick? Please share them with me at jmitchell@spokesman-recorder.com.

This article originally appeared in the Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder.

Juliet Mitchell

Posts by Juliet Mitchell

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Black History

IN MEMORIAM: The Rev. Leon “Sonny” Clark, Longtime Orange County Pastor and Community Leader, Dies at 72

Rev. Leon William “Sonny” Clark, the longtime pastor of New Spirit Baptist Church in Santa Ana and a prominent faith and community leader in Orange County, passed away on September 9 at the age of 72. Born in Bennettsville, South Carolina, Clark was a U.S. Navy veteran who dedicated his life to service. He served various Southern California churches before leading New Spirit Baptist Church for over 22 years, extending his work into counseling, mentoring, and civic engagement, and supporting the African American community. To learn more about his life and contributions, read more.

Published

2 hours ago

September 28, 2026

Post News Group

The Rev. Leon “Sonny” Clark. File photo.

By Bo Tefu, California Black Media

Rev. Leon William “Sonny” Clark, longtime pastor of New Spirit Baptist Church in Santa Ana and a respected faith and community leader in Orange County, died Sept. 9. He was 72.

Born Oct. 2, 1953, in Bennettsville, South Carolina, Clark was a U.S. Navy veteran who later built a life of service centered on family, faith, ministry, and community.

Clark began his formal ministry at Metropolitan Baptist Church in Altadena in 1978. After acknowledging his call to ministry in 1980, he preached his first sermon and went on to serve churches throughout Southern California, including Second Baptist Church in Riverside, Mount Vernon Baptist Church in Rubidoux, Antioch Missionary Baptist Church in Pomona, and Friendship Baptist Church in Yorba Linda.

In November 2003, Clark was called to lead New Spirit Baptist Church in Santa Ana, where he served as pastor for more than 22 years. His work extended beyond the pulpit through counseling, mentoring, civic engagement, and efforts to strengthen Orange County’s African American community.

Clark served on the Orange County Heritage Council and supported efforts to preserve and celebrate African American history and culture. He helped organize the Orange County Black History Parade and Unity Festival, served on the Interfaith Committee and the Orange County Transit Authority, and served as president of the Orange County Ministers Conference.

In 2024, the City of Santa Ana recognized Clark for his contributions to the community. He also received the Orange County Southern Baptist Association Hall of Faith Award and was previously honored as Pastor of the Year by the Orange County Heritage Council.

Clark is survived by his wife, Andrea Joyles Clark; six children, Shawn Williams, Le Ondra Clark Harvey, Kyla Coward, Joshua Clark, Marissa Clark and Ashley Clark; grandchildren and great-grandchildren; siblings; extended family; and the New Spirit Baptist Church congregation.

A wake will be held Thursday, Oct. 1, from 4 to 8 p.m. at New Spirit Baptist Church, 701 S. Sullivan St. in Santa Ana, with a remembrance service from 5 to 6:30 p.m.

A Celebration of Life will be held Friday, Oct. 2, at Friendship Baptist Church, 17145 Bastanchury Road in Yorba Linda. Viewing begins at noon, followed by the service at 1 p.m.

Burial will take place Monday, Oct. 5, at 10:15 a.m. at Riverside National Cemetery.

Clark often shared a guiding principle that shaped his ministry: “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

Post News Group

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Black History

Remembering Chauncey Bailey as Student Journalists Face Threats to Truth-Telling

Nearly two decades ago, Oakland Post reporter and editor-in-chief Chauncey Bailey was tragically murdered for investigating a crooked business. His assassination shocked the journalism world and is remembered as student journalists today face increasing threats and censorship. A former classmate of Bailey and chair of the Student Press Law Center notes a significant rise in calls from students seeking legal advice amid a hostile environment. This situation highlights the importance of protecting young journalists and their pursuit of truth. Read more to learn about Bailey’s legacy and current challenges facing student press.

Published

3 hours ago

September 27, 2026

Post News Group

By Steven A. Holmes Special to The Post

It is nearly 20 years since Chauncey Bailey, a crusading journalist, was murdered

on an Oakland street corner, gunned down to prevent him from writing stories about a

crooked business.

I hope people remember Bailey, a reporter and editor-in-chief for the

Oakland Post, the city’s Black newspaper. He had already written several articles about

the problems of a business called Your Muslim Bakery and was working on another

when the bakery’s owner ordered an employee to kill Bailey.

His murder shocked the journalism world that found the idea of an American

reporter killed for doing his job unfathomable. For me, the shock and sadness were also

personal.

I knew Bailey. In the mid-1970s we were classmates in the Michelle Clark Memorial

Foundation program, the precursor to the Institute for Journalism Education Summer

Program. A program, backed by the Ford Foundation, that provided intensive training

for fledgling minority journalism students and then placed them in jobs at newspapers

and television stations.

I’m reminded of Bailey and that program when I visit the East Bay at the end of

September to discuss the future of student journalism. To me, the visit will not only

evoke memories of Bailey. It will also be an opportunity to hone strategies to protect and

support student journalists who are under attack today, maybe not in the way that took away Chauncey Bailey, but an attack, nonetheless.

Spurred by the hostility toward the free press emanating out of Washington, high

school and college journalists are facing a barrage of censorship and harassment from

school administrators and local officials.

The 24-hour hotline staffed by the Student Press Law Center (SPLC), the non-profit I chair, has seen a 35% increase in calls from student journalists seeking legal advice on censorship, libel and copyright issues during the past two years, as well as a tripling in the number of complaints of harassment, including threats of firing, of faculty advisors.

I am not suggesting today’s national climate is as dangerous as the murderous

intentions of Yusef Bey IV, the man who ordered Bailey’s assassination. But the

harassment of student journalists does kill something else. It can destroy the desire of

student journalists to continue their growth to become professional news gatherers and

producers – something the country will always need.

It is that professional maturation that I’m reminded of when I think back on Chauncey

Bailey.

Truth be told, when we were classmates back in 1974 Bailey was the class clown,

known more for his sardonic wit than his writing or reporting talent. I have vivid

memories of Bailey sitting at his desk in the back of the room regaling us with sarcastic

comments. Sure, he was funny.

And he didn’t exhibit the level of reporting skills of our other classmates such as Milton Coleman who went on to be the Deputy Managing Editor of the Washington Post or Alexis Scott who for years has run the Atlanta Daily World.

After a series of reporting jobs in Hartford, Connecticut, Detroit, Michigan, and Oakland, Bailey had risen in talent and skill to helm this very newspaper. A tip from a source led Bailey to look into the possibility that Bey was running Your Muslim Bakery into bankruptcy. Word that Bailey was working on that story filtered back to Bey who ordered the journalist killed.

On August 2, 2007, Bailey was shot three times at point-blank range as he walked to work.

So, when I think of my trip to the East Bay my thoughts go to journalism’s past

represented by Chauncey Bailey’s sacrifice and what the staff and the board of SPLC

can do to secure the current and future work of student journalists.

Steven A. Holmes is a former Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist. His novel “Black Messiahs” was published in May this year.