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COMMENTARY: 8 tips for visiting the sick

MINNESOTA SPOKESMAN -RECORDER — 

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By Juliet Mitchell

When… I was sick… you visited me.” Matthew 25:36

It’s not a happy subject to discuss, but it’s inevitable that human bodies will experience sickness, disease or break down. Since this is a fact of life, a part of the human condition, we are likely to be called upon to visit someone who is sick at some point.

So, let’s get real about this whole visiting the sick thang, y’all. Yes, my southern girl is coming out. Yes, I’m a GRITS (Girl Raised in the South). Growing up in the South around a close-knit community of relatives and friends, acquaintances and even strangers, visiting the sick was as much a part of life as farming, canning and going to church.

As good family, good community members and good church folk, you cooked some food, packed it up, cleaned yourself up and went to visit. Visiting included laughing (if the person was up to it), talking (if the person had the interest, strength or energy), listening (if the person wanted to listen), and sometimes sitting quietly.

Your visit may have required feeding, cleaning (yes, even cleaning the person — especially relatives and close, close friends) and sadly, sometimes that visit meant shedding some tears.

We know that at any age, sick and disease can take hold to our frail human bodies; however, as our population ages, it’s more likely that we will be visiting our elders as they approach the end of life.

I’ve spoken to medical professionals, clergy and caregivers and gathered etiquette considerations for visiting those persons.

8 life etiquette tips for visiting the sick

  • Please call and arrange a time to visit. There are numerous considerations concerning time, feeding, bathing, dispensing of medication and a sleep schedule. Do not be offended if the caregiver gives you specific times to visit rather than allowing you to stop by at your convenience.
  • Ask if it’s OK to bring something for the sick person to eat or drink. That person may be on a restricted diet or may not be taking food at all.
  • On that note, it is also considerate to bring something for the family/other visitors if you’re visiting a home. If you do not know the person’s likes and dislikes, ask. Some general things that are usually needed include bottled water and/or juice; fruit, sandwich fixings, prepared meals. Remember to include paper towels, napkins, even disposable cutlery and cups. We live in a diverse world, so, again, if you don’t know, ask.
  • Be as clean as you can and be prepared to take your shoes off if visiting a home (bring clean indoor shoes if you must wear shoes). Also, be prepared to wash your hands, use sanitizer and/or wear a mask.
  • Be willing to sit in silence. Your presence and your positive energy are important, not necessarily a whole lot of chatter.  I’ve actually been told that too much talking can be disturbing to the sick.
  • While we’re on the topic of speaking, remember to tone it down. Some of us can be too loud. You might say, “Well, I’m just loud” or “That’s just the way I talk!” But this isn’t about you. Keep the volume low.
  • Keep your visits short. A 10-, 15- or 20-minute visit is long enough. I know that it may seem cold, but according to my “research,” — depending on the degree and extent of the illness — the energy of visitors can be “draining” and de-energizing for the person who is ill.
  • Should you bring flowers or a gift? Well, that depends. Again, ask. Besides the physical and emotional aspects of caring for the ill, families and caregivers are often faced with the stress, weight and worry of financial demands, as well. Perhaps a gift card or a monetary gift would better help to meet the needs of that family.

Do you have any etiquette tips related to visiting the sick? Please share them with me at jmitchell@spokesman-recorder.com.

This article originally appeared in the Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder

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Activism

Oakland Museum Presents Landmark Retrospective Celebrating Beloved Bay Area Artist Mildred Howard

“Poetics of Memory” coincides with a year of major recognition for Howard. In 2026, she received the California Arts Council’s 50th Anniversary Award, honoring artists whose work has shaped California’s cultural and civic life, as well as the Museum of the African Diaspora’s Artist Impact Award. In 2025, she was awarded a prestigious Guggenheim Fellowship in recognition of her transformative contributions to American cultural life.

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Mildred Howard. Photo by Christine Cueto for the Oakland Museum of California, 2025.
Mildred Howard. Photo by Christine Cueto for the Oakland Museum of California, 2025.

Special to The Post

The Oakland Museum of California (OMCA) opened “Mildred Howard: Poetics of Memory,” the first major museum survey of Bay Area artist Mildred Howard, on June 12.

The exhibition spans five decades of Howard’s influential work, bringing together immersive installations, found-object sculptures, archival materials, and new commissions that explore memory, identity, and power in American life.

“Poetics of Memory” coincides with a year of major recognition for Howard. In 2026, she received the California Arts Council’s 50th Anniversary Award, honoring artists whose work has shaped California’s cultural and civic life, as well as the Museum of the African Diaspora’s Artist Impact Award. In 2025, she was awarded a prestigious Guggenheim Fellowship in recognition of her transformative contributions to American cultural life.

Howard was born in San Francisco in 1945 and raised in the East Bay, where she went on to study Afro-Haitian dance, make and sell clothing, and experiment with collage and sculpture.

Her multimedia art practice emerged from these experiences, later becoming associated with West Coast conceptual art, San Francisco funk, and a vibrant community of artists like Oliver Jackson, Betye Saar, and Raymond Saunders. Since the 1970s, she has used found materials and family stories to explore memory—both individual and collective.

At OMCA, visitors enter “Poetics of Memory” through a series of intimate galleries featuring Howard’s early mixed-media pieces and sculptures, along with a large video projection of a number of her public artworks.

Together, they emphasize Howard’s interest in everyday objects as powerful carriers of individual and shared stories. Highlights include collages that remix images of the artist herself; found-object sculptures like The History of the United States with a few Parts Missing (2007) that address omissions in dominant narratives; and public works like “Locks and Keys for Harry Bridges” (2001) that transform urban space into a meditation on access and labor.

This culminates in a richly detailed “studio” environment, where works in progress, archival exhibition flyers, historic photographs of Howard and her community, postcards from fellow artists, and other materials offer insight into her creative process and daily life.

The exhibition then opens into a high-ceilinged, dramatically lit space that brings together Howard’s signature immersive installations. On one end, “Crossings” (1997/2026) – a field of hundreds of ceramic eggs leading to an ornate mirror – suggests cycles of birth, motherhood, and transition, while drawing on the emotional echoes of the Middle Passage. On the other end, “Blackbird in a Red Sky” (a.k.a. “Fall of the Blood House”) (2002) – a red glass shack bordered by a pond – also uses reflection and transparency to draw viewers into the work and prompt consideration of themes of identity and home.

Howard’s newest video installation, “Moving Stills” (2026), repurposes never-before-seen family footage she took as a teenager on a train trip to the American South. Projected onto cascading layers of translucent fabric that stretch across an entire gallery wall, the piece immerses viewers in a layered meditation on memory, migration, and time.

The “Mildred Howard: Poetics of Memoryexhibit will be on display through Oct. 11 at the Oakland Museum of California, 1000 Oak St., Oakland, CA 94612. Museum hours are Wednesday through Sunday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., with extended hours on Fridays to 9 p.m.

This story is sourced from the Oakland Museum of California press office.

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Activism

Stop the Hate Symposium Brings Oakland Together Through Dialogue, Partnership, and Community Healing

 More than a meeting and panel discussion, the annual symposium serves as a powerful example of what can happen when neighbors, community leaders, and organizations choose conversation over division, and unity over silence.

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Speakers and guests at the annual ‘Stop the Hate Symposium posed with Oakland Chinatown Improvement Council ambassadors. Photo by Marcus Calloway.
Speakers and guests at the annual ‘Stop the Hate Symposium posed with Oakland Chinatown Improvement Council ambassadors. Photo by Marcus Calloway.

By Dr. Maritony Jones, Special to The Post

With the purpose of creating safer, stronger, and more inclusive communities, and in partnership with the Oakland Private Industry Council and other community organizations, the Oakland Chinatown Improvement Council (OCIC) hosted the ‘Stop the Hate Symposium’ on June 13 at the Oakland Asian Cultural Center.

More than a meeting and panel discussion, the annual symposium serves as a powerful example of what can happen when neighbors, community leaders, and organizations choose conversation over division, and unity over silence.

The free event featured keynote speakers, breakout sessions, cultural programming, creating a space where people from many backgrounds sat together with a shared purpose.

The turnout itself reflected the urgency and importance of the topic. The room was packed with community members eager not only to listen, but also to participate. Throughout the event, speakers shared data, personal experiences, research, and practical solutions designed to address hate, violence, social inequity, and community safety.

The keynote panel featured respected leaders and advocates, including Ray Bobbitt, founder of the African American Sports & Entertainment Group (AASEG); Ryan Takemiya from RAMA; Caheri Gutierrez from the Unity Council; honorary guest speaker Oakland City Councilmember at-Large Rowena Brown and City Councilmember Charlene Wang; representatives for Oakland Mayor Barbara Lee and U.S. Rep. Lateefah Simon, with Gia Vang of NBC serving as moderator.

The symposium also offered multiple breakout sessions that addressed issues affecting communities across Oakland and Alameda County:

  • Session 1, 2, 3: Building Safer and More Inclusive Communities, led by Pastor Raymond Lankfort, CEO of Oakland Private Industry Council (OPIC), Jessica Kang, research manager for Stop AAPI Hate, Kara Guerra of The Unity Council, and Gabriela delaRiva of the Spanish Speaking Citizens Foundation
  • Session 4: Talk Story: Collective Healing and Relationship Repair, presented by Ryan Takemiya, executive director of RAMA
  • Session 5: Sexual Violence Prevention, presented by Tunisia Owens, interim deputy director of Realized Potential
  • Session 6: Violent Attacks on Teens, presented by MaryAnn Alvarado, program manager of Youth Alive

Every session contributed to an important truth: meaningful change begins within communities, through honest dialogue and a willingness to work together.

One of the strongest themes to emerge from the day was the need to create more conversations and stronger partnerships—not just during times of crisis, but consistently and intentionally. Relationships among organizations, neighborhoods, and community leaders often operate behind the scenes but are not always highlighted or celebrated.

Bobbitt spoke powerfully about this issue, noting that partnerships and relationships often go unrecognized despite being essential to community progress. He pointed to examples such as the partnership between OPIC and OCHIC, emphasizing that these collaborations deserve more visibility, investment, and expansion.

Perhaps his most memorable message resonated deeply throughout the room. Bobbitt explained that when a grandparent is attacked or harmed, the impact extends beyond race or ethnicity because today’s families and communities are increasingly multicultural and interconnected.

“We are not going to see our grandparents as just Latino, Asian, Caucasian, or African American,” he shared in essence. “We are going to see them simply as our grandparents.”

Those words reflected the heart of the symposium. Hate may target one group, but pain and loss are felt by everyone. Likewise, healing and progress are shared responsibilities.

For more information about the Stop The Hate Program visit the website: https://www.oaklandchinatownchamber.org/stop-the-hate (or) https://oaklandpic.or

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Activism

Six Months in, Probate Reform Coalition Marks Progress in Protecting Elders From Financial Abuse

Despite the cited obstacles, NPRC has made some promising inroads towards their mission.  NPRC has identified that nationwide the Attorneys General must be engaged and encouraged to implement oversight, protection and enforcement of the law; members find support from each other as they advocate for redress via “letters of compassion” sent to judges, nursing facilities and law enforcement agencies and members are instructed on their rights, how to take constructive action to protect those rights through access to resources that allow them to intelligently represent themselves in court.

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NPRC member Stewart E. Handte, a former Mineral County, Nevada, Sheriff and 27-year veteran of police work, currently wears an ankle monitor after he was arrested on kidnapping charges for helping his friend, Roger Hilligus, remove Hilligus’ mother, Susan Hilligus, from a nursing facility after finding her bruised and neglected. NPRC has submitted a “Letter of Compassion” for both Handte and Hilligus requesting that charges be dropped. Courtesy photo.
NPRC member Stewart E. Handte, a former Mineral County, Nevada, Sheriff and 27-year veteran of police work, currently wears an ankle monitor after he was arrested on kidnapping charges for helping his friend, Roger Hilligus, remove Hilligus’ mother, Susan Hilligus, from a nursing facility after finding her bruised and neglected. NPRC has submitted a “Letter of Compassion” for both Handte and Hilligus requesting that charges be dropped. Courtesy photo.

By Tanya Dennis

The National Probate Reform Coalition, a loose-knit national coalition of advocates, victims, and families dedicated to protecting elder rights, especially within the probate court system, was formed by the Post Newspaper Group (PNG) after more than a decade of reporting on the mistreatment of elders and the plunder of their estates.

In response, PNG Publisher Paul Cobb set in motion a series of monthly town halls to address the problem and propose workable solutions, designating it a “year of action.”

At six months, the coalition has attracted families, advocates, and experts across the nation whose strategies have proven effective in their respective states, and who are moving forward collectively with the mission of engaging judicial, legislative, and enforcement agencies to ensure elders are not exploited or abused.

“The issue of elder abuse is multi-layered”, says NPRC planning committee member Venus Gist.  “Elders are our most vulnerable population, next to children, and they are easily exploited by strangers, their own family members, and the judicial system designed to protect them.”

Since January, NPRC has, via monthly virtual meetings held on the first Thursday of each month, clearly defined the issues and formulated workable solutions that can be implemented nationwide.

“There are amazing laws on the books that protect elders and their assets,” said NPRC member Zakiya Jendayi. “The problem is they are ignored, and that lack of oversight has led to systemic abuse in the Probate Court system, not just in Alameda County, but nationwide.

“The scary part is the collusion and wall of silence NPRC has encountered when reaching out to the Judicial Council, legislators, and the State Bar for assistance.  It’s so obvious that one hand is washing the other, that they’re protecting each other, that it’s difficult to initiate any type of meaningful reform much less dialogue.”

Despite the cited obstacles, NPRC has made some promising inroads towards their mission.  NPRC has identified that nationwide the Attorneys General must be engaged and encouraged to implement oversight, protection and enforcement of the law; members find support from each other as they advocate for redress via “letters of compassion” sent to judges, nursing facilities and law enforcement agencies and members are instructed on their rights, how to take constructive action to protect those rights through access to resources that allow them to intelligently represent themselves in court.

Stacy Drake, a Texas member, says, “I’ve been looking for help for over 10 years with my situation, and I finally found it within the NPRC coalition.  God answered my prayers.”

Broadening its reach within Alameda County, NPRC has invited Oakland Mayor Barbara Lee to assist with outreach, education, and resolution.

“We hope to host an elder abuse/elder protection symposium annually, if not twice a year, to let our elders know that Alameda County and the City of Oakland are a safe place, a place where in their golden years they have no worries regarding exploitation and abuse,” said Cobb. “Society is defined by how the care for its children and elders.”

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