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You Had Me at Hello: ‘It is important to yield, listen and understand your spouse’

THE BIRMINGHAM TIMES — “You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them.

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By Anita Debro

“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone who would, please send nominations to Erica Wright at ewright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.

A’KHI AND RAVEN KING

Live: Vestavia Hills

Married: April 28, 2018

Met: A’Khi and Raven met in 2006 at New Birth Family Church when they were both in the teen ministry. Raven said she was friends with A’Khi but nothing more. “We were just a group of teens who went bowling and skating together,” Raven recalled. “I had no interest in him then.” A’Khi felt differently, though. “I liked her.”  By the summer of 2012 the two had become best friends. “I had seen her with all of her boyfriends,” A’Khi said. Shortly after Raven broke up with a boyfriend the two began talking more and the idea of being in a relationship surfaced.  “I really prayed about it and him,” Raven said. “I started to see his love for God and I could see his heart.” Raven said she and A’Khi were very different — she was an extrovert and he was a quiet homebody.  A’Khi did not think that those differences should keep them from being together.  After more prayer, Raven decided to put her trust and faith in A’Khi.  Just as their relationship was getting started, A’Khi left for Tuskegee University.

First date: Because A’Khi was away at Tuskegee and Raven remained in Birmingham, it would be nearly two years after they began dating before the couple would actually go on a real date. “We mainly saw each other on Skype,” Raven said. In 2014 they finally went to Chili’s Restaurant in Trussville. “I had saved up just enough money to take her out,” A’khi recalled.

The proposal: A’Khi felt that the time was right in 2016 to ask for Raven’s hand in marriage.  He bought a ring and decided to propose after a movie date. “I had the ring in my pocket and as soon as the credits started rolling my heart was beating loudly,” he said. Raven said she went to the restroom after the movie was over and when she returned she could not find A’Khi and the rest of the family members who had come to the movie. Raven said she became frustrated when she could not find A’Khi and when she finally found him she was ready to fuss. A’Khi said he pretended to start an argument but then instead proposed. “My mouth just dropped open,” Raven said. She said “yes.” But a few months into their engagement the couple ended the relationship. “It was a bad break up,” Raven said. “We both thought we were done with each other.”

“I actually lost the engagement ring that I gave to her,” A’Khi said. “It was that bad.”

Take Two: A’Khi and Raven spent six months apart before reconciling. One of the things that sparked the reconciliation was a chance meeting between A’Khi and her father at church, Raven said. “They met and clicked immediately,” Raven said. “My father encouraged me to unblock him and to talk about what I was feeling.” Raven said that meeting and her father’s approval of A’Khi ultimately led them back together. On Christmas 2017 A’Khi, with a new engagement ring, proposed to Raven for the second time.

The wedding: The couple wed at the Trussville Civic Center. Raven remembers being nervous and shaking before her vows, but her nerves calmed after she walked down the aisle. “That day was amazing,” she said. “I was just very grateful.” A’Khi said he was not nervous, but instead excited about beginning their journey as a married couple.

Words of Wisdom: The couple said they have learned a great deal in nearly one year of marriage. “I have learned how to yield,” he said. “It is important to yield and to listen and try to understand (your spouse),” A’Khi said.

Raven said it is important for couples to be committed to continuing to learn about their spouse and to learn how to be a couple. “I don’t know everything and he doesn’t know everything, so we have to keep learning,” she said. “It is important for a couple to continue to learn each other and learn how to be a healthy and happy couple.”

Happily ever after: Raven and A’Khi enjoy going to the movies. Raven likes to travel, while A’Khi likes to spend time at home, hang out with friends and play pool with his team.  Raven, a native of Selma, is an aspiring dancer and actress. She teaches dance classes and also works on the staff at Danberry Assisted Living.  A’Khi, a Birmingham native, works for the Birmingham Water Works.

This article originally appeared in The Birmingham Times. 

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Activism

Diabetes in Black California: Turning the Tide from Crisis to Control

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System data, nearly 17.9% of Black adults in California have been diagnosed with diabetes — above the national Black adult average of 16.8%, and nearly five points higher than California’s overall adult rate of 12.6% across all races. California ranks 24th out of 39 states with available data for Black adult diabetes rates.

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Dr. Khadijah Lang is a family physician with a clinic in Los Angeles who specializes in several family medical practices, including prenatal care. Lang believes in family medicine. She says it is important to treat all members of a family. Thursday, June 5, 2026. Photo by Solomon O. Smith/California Black Media.
Dr. Khadijah Lang is a family physician with a clinic in Los Angeles who specializes in several family medical practices, including prenatal care. Lang believes in family medicine. She says it is important to treat all members of a family. Thursday, June 5, 2026. Photo by Solomon O. Smith/California Black Media.

By Charlene Muhammad, California Black Media

Crystal Lambert knew something was terribly wrong with her three-year-old granddaughter as she sped down the street trying to get her to the hospital.

“I thought she got a hold of some poison,” Lambert recalled.

Doctors found Lambert’s granddaughter had a blood sugar level over 800, diagnosing her with Diabetic Ketoacidosis(DKA), a state in which the body, starved of insulin, begins to shut down.

Lambert said she was born with a pancreas that was not fully functioning — it lacked the specialized cells required to produce insulin.

Her granddaughter survived and is five years old today.  Now, she gives herself insulin shots, asks endless questions about her condition, and runs like the spirited child she is. But the terror of that night transformed Lambert — and ultimately inspired her to launch the We Fight Back Organization, a mobile health and food access initiative serving underserved communities across California. Lambert is the executive director.

The Crisis by the Numbers

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System data, nearly 17.9% of Black adults in California have been diagnosed with diabetes — above the national Black adult average of 16.8%, and nearly five points higher than California’s overall adult rate of 12.6% across all races. California ranks 24th out of 39 states with available data for Black adult diabetes rates.

Nationally, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Black Americans were 24% more likely than the overall U.S. population to have diabetes in 2024. They also died from diabetes 78% more often than the general population in 2022. Black Americans are also more than twice as likely as the overall population to develop kidney failure caused by diabetes.

According to the California Health Care Foundation’s 2024 Health Disparities Almanac, Black Californians have the shortest life expectancy in the state at just 74.6 years — due in part to chronic conditions like diabetes and its devastating complications.

Leon Rock, co-founder of the African American Diabetes Association, believes statistics, though revealing, only tell part of the story.

“There are a whole bunch of Black folks that don’t tell you that they have diabetes — or don’t know,” he said.

And the disease itself, Rock is careful to note, is not what kills. “They die from the complications. That’s heart attack, that’s stroke, that’s amputations of legs, of feet. Going blind. All those complications are inherent in a system that has impacted Black folks with diabetes in California and across America.”

Crystal Lambert, creator and executive director of We Fight Back. She started the organization out of a need to learn more about diabetes on behalf of her granddaughter. Now she is looking to spread the impact of her organization to the valley. Friday, June 6, 2026. Photo by Solomon O. Smith/California Black Media.

Crystal Lambert, creator and executive director of the We Fight Back Organization, started out of a need to learn more about diabetes on behalf of her granddaughter. Now she is looking to spread her organization to the valley, on Friday, June 6, 2026 Photo by Solomon O. Smith/ California Black Media

An Information Gap Fuels the Crisis

For Rock, part of the solution is diagnosis. He says the medical and public health systems are failing Black Californians by the absence of information designed for them.

“That is the bottom line. We need good information. Information that is culturally specific,” said Rock.

Telling people to eat healthy or exercise, he added, falls short when culturally specific alternatives are not provided, and when many residents of urban communities do not feel safe exercising in some neighborhoods – or outside at night.

Dr. Khadijah Lang, a family medicine physician and president of the Golden State Medical Association, agrees that the roots of the crisis run deeper than individual behavior — and blaming patients misses the point.

“We are not genetically predisposed to diabetes,” Lang said. “But the system under which we live increases the likelihood that we will develop it.” 

What the Body Needs — What Communities Are Denied

Type 2 diabetes, which accounts for 90 to 95% of all diabetes cases, according to the CDC, develops when the body can no longer use insulin effectively to regulate blood sugar. Left unmanaged, it damages nerves, kidneys, eyes, and the cardiovascular system. The hemoglobin A1C test is a blood draw that reveals how the body has processed sugar over the previous three months — not just at the moment of the test. It is the standard tool for both diagnosis and ongoing monitoring.

That distinction matters, Lang emphasized, because patients cannot manipulate three months of blood sugar history the way they might fast for a day before a single blood draw.

“The pill is not meant to undo or control a sugar level that’s being constantly stressed,” Lang said. “It’s meant to work in conjunction with a low-carbohydrate diet and exercise.” She recommended at minimum 30 minutes of physical activity five days a week — breakable into 10-minute sessions for those who need it.

Lang stressed that education must be delivered in language people recognize and can relate to. The goal is to inform them of the choices that serve their health best, she said.

But for many Black Californians, even those informed choices remain out of reach, Lambert said.

“They need access to healthy foods and medication, too” she said.

California has made some critical policy advances. The state has expanded access to the Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM), which has transformed diabetes care for state residents. Assembly Bill 365, introduced in 2024, proposed requiring Medi-Cal to cover the costs of CGM and other related medical equipment but it failed in the State Senate. Since then, the California Department of Health Care Services (DHCS) reports that the core Medi-Cal CGM benefit now available to eligible patients was solidified through previous budget actions and pharmacy policy updates.

These measures, while meaningful, have not closed the gap for the communities most at risk, according to advocates.

Control Through Community

Health care advocates conclude that the solution must be communal, culturally grounded, and sustained — not a fad, not a celebrity moment, not a single clinic visit. For example, observed Lang, lifestyle shaped by shared values and collective accountability can move the needle where individual prescriptions have not.

Rock is building infrastructure to match the urgency, establishing local chapters of the African American Diabetes Association across the country, with California next.

“We have to do for self, period,” he said. “Health is wealth. We have to eat to live.”

And Lambert, whose granddaughter unknowingly started all of this for her, keeps showing up.

“Diabetes advocacy is about dignity, education, prevention, and hope,” she said.

Video: Diabetes Disparity Exposed in California

This article is supported by the California Health Care Foundation 

(CHCF). Visit www.chcf.org 

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Book Reviews

BOOK REVIEW: The Ice Cream Queen: Flavors from Black America’s Past, Present & Future

Sugar is the first ingredient for ice cream, which was first made some 1500 years ago but which didn’t arrive in this country until around 1744. Thirty years after that, America’s first ice cream parlor was opened in New York City, and it was a hit. Take note, though, and stress the word “parlor.” An ice cream shop was a totally unacceptable place for unchaperoned ladies. A parlor was completely fine.

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Book cover of Ice Cream Queen: Flavors from Black America’s Past, Present & Future. Courtesy of W.W. Norton.
Book cover of Ice Cream Queen: Flavors from Black America’s Past, Present & Future. Courtesy of W.W. Norton.

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

Author: Lokelani Alabanza, Copyright: c.2026, Publisher: W.W. Norton, SRP: $29.99, Page Count: 264 pages

Your tongue can barely stay behind your teeth.

Is it Rocky Road that’s tempting you, or Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough? Maybe something with caramel on top, or just plain vanilla, dressed up in a rainbow of sprinkles. Have you ever had a bad ice cream cone on a hot summer’s day? Probably not — so dip into the new book “Ice Cream Queen” by Lokelani Albanza and have a taste.

For nearly three centuries, says Albanza, “African American hands have been touching sugar.” Planting it, harvesting it, processing it, every step was loaded with possible danger, loss of limb, and loss of life.

Sugar is the first ingredient for ice cream, which was first made some 1500 years ago but which didn’t arrive in this country until around 1744. Thirty years after that, America’s first ice cream parlor was opened in New York City, and it was a hit. Take note, though, and stress the word “parlor.” An ice cream shop was a totally unacceptable place for unchaperoned ladies. A parlor was completely fine.

Writing about memories of her grandma’s stash of ice cream, Albanza recalls enjoying it after a good Southern meal cooked by the Tennessean woman. In her career journey, Albanza learned about other Black cooks and Black cookbooks — “And then I found Sarah Estell.”

From roughly 1840 until the Civil War, Estell, a Black woman, owned and ran an ice cream “saloon” in Nashville, serving ice cream she made. Known locally as the “Ice Cream Queen,” Estell seemed to disappear after 1865.

Like her “North Star,” Estell, Albanza makes unusual kinds of ice cream.

In this book, you’ll find a glossary of terms, lists of equipment needed, and directions for different bases to get you started. There are recipes for basic flavors, Parmesan, cream cheese & pepper jelly, burnt almond, and marshmallow. You can have blueberry ice cream, cranberry-cherry vodka, summer corn, and more. But why stop there?

Says Albanza, “I have yet to come across one person who doesn’t like ice cream. Not one.”

So, what’s your preference? A waffle cone, a regular cone, or in a bowl? Sprinkles or not, and okay, now you want some ice cream, but first, check out “Ice Cream Queen.”

The thing you’ll notice about this book is that it’s so happy. From the “birth of ice cream,” to tales of notable people in frozen-concoction history, to recipes for kids and kids-at-heart, this is one of those books that cooks will love, but it’s not just for them. Alabanza satisfies everyone, from historians to foodies, with step-by-step, easy-to-try instructions, so you can create tasty foundations for whatever flavor you might want to try. There’s even some encouragement for a little experimentation of your own. Glossy photos will make your mouth water as you smile big.

Summertime can be a scorcher, and you know what cools you off best? Yep, so find this book, invest in a few tools, and be the hit of the neighborhood. For that, a book like “Ice Cream Queen” can’t be licked.

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Activism

California Launches Free Diaper Program for Newborns Statewide

The initiative, called Golden State Start, will provide 400 free diapers to every newborn delivered at participating California hospitals beginning this summer. The state is partnering with Baby2Baby, a California-based nonprofit that distributes essential items to children in need nationwide.

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iStock
iStock.

By Bo Tefu, California Black Media

Gov. Gavin Newsom announced Friday that California will launch a first-in-the-nation program providing free diapers to families with newborns, part of a broader effort to lower costs for parents and improve infant health outcomes.

The initiative, called Golden State Start, will provide 400 free diapers to every newborn delivered at participating California hospitals beginning this summer. The state is partnering with Baby2Baby, a California-based nonprofit that distributes essential items to children in need nationwide.

State officials said hospitals participating in the program will give families the diapers when they are discharged after birth, helping parents leave with an immediate supply of newborn essentials.

“Every baby born in California deserves a healthy start in life,” Newsom said in a statement. He said the program is part of California’s broader affordability efforts, which also include free school meals, universal preschool for four-year-olds and expanded after-school programs.

The announcement comes ahead of Mother’s Day and is tied to the administration’s broader CalRx initiative, which aims to reduce costs for essential products and medications. State officials said California is also exploring ways to lower diaper prices by challenging high costs from major brands.

The first year of the program will prioritize hospitals serving large numbers of Medi-Cal patients, with plans to expand to additional hospitals and birthing centers over time. Officials said the effort is intended to reduce financial pressure on low-income families and improve infant and maternal health by ensuring parents have access to clean diapers.

“California families deserve to feel supported during one of life’s more exciting, yet vulnerable transitions,” First Partner Jennifer Siebel Newsom said in a statement. She said the program would allow parents to focus on caring for their newborns instead of worrying about basic supplies.

According to Baby2Baby, one in two families in the United States struggles to afford diapers. The organization has distributed more than half a billion items to children over the past 15 years through partnerships with shelters, hospitals, foster care programs and schools.

State officials said Baby2Baby will oversee diaper purchasing, warehousing and distribution through its existing hospital and community partnerships across California.

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