Family

You Had Me at Hello: ‘It is important to yield, listen and understand your spouse’

THE BIRMINGHAM TIMES — “You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them.

Published

5 years ago

February 3, 2019

By Anita Debro

“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone who would, please send nominations to Erica Wright at ewright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.

A’KHI AND RAVEN KING

Live: Vestavia Hills

Married: April 28, 2018

Met: A’Khi and Raven met in 2006 at New Birth Family Church when they were both in the teen ministry. Raven said she was friends with A’Khi but nothing more. “We were just a group of teens who went bowling and skating together,” Raven recalled. “I had no interest in him then.” A’Khi felt differently, though. “I liked her.” By the summer of 2012 the two had become best friends. “I had seen her with all of her boyfriends,” A’Khi said. Shortly after Raven broke up with a boyfriend the two began talking more and the idea of being in a relationship surfaced. “I really prayed about it and him,” Raven said. “I started to see his love for God and I could see his heart.” Raven said she and A’Khi were very different — she was an extrovert and he was a quiet homebody. A’Khi did not think that those differences should keep them from being together. After more prayer, Raven decided to put her trust and faith in A’Khi. Just as their relationship was getting started, A’Khi left for Tuskegee University.

First date: Because A’Khi was away at Tuskegee and Raven remained in Birmingham, it would be nearly two years after they began dating before the couple would actually go on a real date. “We mainly saw each other on Skype,” Raven said. In 2014 they finally went to Chili’s Restaurant in Trussville. “I had saved up just enough money to take her out,” A’khi recalled.

The proposal: A’Khi felt that the time was right in 2016 to ask for Raven’s hand in marriage. He bought a ring and decided to propose after a movie date. “I had the ring in my pocket and as soon as the credits started rolling my heart was beating loudly,” he said. Raven said she went to the restroom after the movie was over and when she returned she could not find A’Khi and the rest of the family members who had come to the movie. Raven said she became frustrated when she could not find A’Khi and when she finally found him she was ready to fuss. A’Khi said he pretended to start an argument but then instead proposed. “My mouth just dropped open,” Raven said. She said “yes.” But a few months into their engagement the couple ended the relationship. “It was a bad break up,” Raven said. “We both thought we were done with each other.”

“I actually lost the engagement ring that I gave to her,” A’Khi said. “It was that bad.”

Take Two: A’Khi and Raven spent six months apart before reconciling. One of the things that sparked the reconciliation was a chance meeting between A’Khi and her father at church, Raven said. “They met and clicked immediately,” Raven said. “My father encouraged me to unblock him and to talk about what I was feeling.” Raven said that meeting and her father’s approval of A’Khi ultimately led them back together. On Christmas 2017 A’Khi, with a new engagement ring, proposed to Raven for the second time.

The wedding: The couple wed at the Trussville Civic Center. Raven remembers being nervous and shaking before her vows, but her nerves calmed after she walked down the aisle. “That day was amazing,” she said. “I was just very grateful.” A’Khi said he was not nervous, but instead excited about beginning their journey as a married couple.

Words of Wisdom: The couple said they have learned a great deal in nearly one year of marriage. “I have learned how to yield,” he said. “It is important to yield and to listen and try to understand (your spouse),” A’Khi said.

Raven said it is important for couples to be committed to continuing to learn about their spouse and to learn how to be a couple. “I don’t know everything and he doesn’t know everything, so we have to keep learning,” she said. “It is important for a couple to continue to learn each other and learn how to be a healthy and happy couple.”

Happily ever after: Raven and A’Khi enjoy going to the movies. Raven likes to travel, while A’Khi likes to spend time at home, hang out with friends and play pool with his team. Raven, a native of Selma, is an aspiring dancer and actress. She teaches dance classes and also works on the staff at Danberry Assisted Living. A’Khi, a Birmingham native, works for the Birmingham Water Works.

This article originally appeared in The Birmingham Times.

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Community

Richmond Nonprofit YES Nature to Neighborhoods Plans Major Renovation

Richmond nonprofit YES Nature to Neighborhoods is planning a significant renovation of its headquarters at 3029 Macdonald Ave., around 31st street. The nonprofit serving youth and families in Richmond is requesting a design review permit to demolish the one-story, 2,218-square-foot building and a 95-square-foot shed, and to replace them with a new 4,480-square-foot, two-story building.

Published

5 days ago

April 20, 2024

Oakland Post

Rendering of renovation courtesy of City of Richmond documents.

The Richmond Standard

Richmond nonprofit YES Nature to Neighborhoods is planning a significant renovation of its headquarters at 3029 Macdonald Ave., around 31st street.

The nonprofit serving youth and families in Richmond is requesting a design review permit to demolish the one-story, 2,218-square-foot building and a 95-square-foot shed, and to replace them with a new 4,480-square-foot, two-story building.

The new building would consist of office and meetings spaces with a 345-square-foot addition to the existing garage on the property, according to city documents. The nonprofit will host youth, adult, and family programming on and off the site.

The nonprofit also proposes to repair sidewalks, replace planters and a fence, add lighting, and provide interior open space, among other improvements.

The city’s Design Review Board was set to review the plans at its meeting this evening on April 10. For more info, go to https://www.ci.richmond.ca.us/DocumentCenter/View/68830/3_PLN23-316-3029-MacDonald-Ave_DRB20240410—Apr-10

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Community

Families Flock to New Farmers Market in Marina Bay

The City of Richmond’s first farmers market in Marina Bay kicked off Sunday, April 7 with a large swell of community members coming out to enjoy the occasion. The long-anticipated market set up shop in the parking lot off Regatta Boulevard and Melville Square in Richmond and featured music and dancing, arts and crafts, chess, multiple vendors and some fresh produce from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Published

5 days ago

April 20, 2024

Oakland Post

The crowd at the new Marina Bay farmers’ market. Photo by Kathy Chouteau.

By Kathy Chouteau
The Richmond Standard

The City of Richmond’s first farmers market in Marina Bay kicked off Sunday, April 7 with a large swell of community members coming out to enjoy the occasion.

The long-anticipated market set up shop in the parking lot off Regatta Boulevard and Melville Square in Richmond and featured music and dancing, arts and crafts, chess, multiple vendors and some fresh produce from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Numerous families turned out for the event, many with their children and family dogs.

The market will continue on Sundays and is operated by the Richmond Certified Farmers Market Association. For more information or to become a vendor, go to https://cirichmondca-newsletter.app.transform.civicplus.com/forms/39634

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Community

For Cervical Cancer Month, Medical Community Focused on Education

January was Cervical Cancer Awareness Month. Physicians, advocates and others in the medical community commemorated the month by raising awareness about a form of cancer they say is highly preventable and treatable. Cervical cancer is caused by a virus called the human papillomavirus (HPV) and it develops slowly over time but can be prevented with proper care in girls as young as 13 years old.

Published

6 days ago

April 19, 2024

Oakland Post

A Mayo Clinic article published last month stated that Black women are more likely to be diagnosed and die of cervical cancer, compared to White women in the U.S. 2,000 Black women are diagnosed every year with cervical cancer and 40% die as a result.

By Magaly Muñoz

January was Cervical Cancer Awareness Month.

Physicians, advocates and others in the medical community commemorated the month by raising awareness about a form of cancer they say is highly preventable and treatable.

Cervical cancer is caused by a virus called the human papillomavirus (HPV) and it develops slowly over time but can be prevented with proper care in girls as young as 13 years old.

Sonia Ordonez, an OBGYN and gynecology surgeon at Kaiser Permanente, stated that as soon as people with cervixes reach the maturity reproductive age, they should start taking preventative measures like getting the HPV vaccine. The vaccine involves a series of two-doses for people aged 9 through 14 or three-doses for people 15 through 45 years old.

“I see a lot of young women who can’t remember or may not have gotten [the vaccine] when they were younger, or maybe got one, but we can give them the series of vaccines and restart at any point in time,” Ordonez said.

She said that cervical cancer is not the only cancer caused by HPV. Strains of the virus can also lead to throat, anal and penile cancers.

Screening is also an effective way to check for cervical cancer and should be done every three years after someone turns 21, doctors recommend. It is best to start as early as possible to catch occurrences early.

Ordonez said that this cancer is also more likely found in people of color and has led to more deaths overall.

A Mayo Clinic article published last month stated that Black women are more likely to be diagnosed and die of cervical cancer, compared to White women in the U.S.

2,000 Black women are diagnosed every year with cervical cancer and 40% die as a result.

“This disparity is not due to genetic differences among White, Black or Hispanic women, but rather related to systemic racism, access to healthcare and socioeconomic factors,” Dr. Olivia Cardenas-Trowers, a Mayo Clinic urogynecologist, said in the article.

Ordonez stated that immigrant women are also highly susceptible to the cancer, as many Latin American countries may not have accessibility to screenings or lack of insurance makes it harder for them to get tested.

Hispanic women are 40% more likely to be diagnosed with cervical cancer, and 30% more likely to die from it, as compared to non-Hispanic White women, according to the Office of Minority Health.

Family medicine physician, Joy Anyanwu, stated that the pandemic contributed to hesitancy about getting cervical cancer screenings among some women. Other factors are people’s aversion to vaccines, parents not wanting to believe that their children are or will become sexually active, and doubt about the overall effectiveness of the vaccine.

“The vaccine is very safe — over 97% effective in preventing cervical cancer,” Anyanwu said. “Even if you aren’t having sex, the earlier you start would actually help.”

Anyanwu said she understands that parents might not want to ask questions about their children’s reproductive health, but it’s a mindset that can be a barrier to having important conversation about prevention or care.

To keep families their families and communties healthy, the doctor emphasized that people should prioritize keeping up with their vaccine series and going to screenings every year.