Family

You Had Me at Hello: ‘It is important to yield, listen and understand your spouse’

THE BIRMINGHAM TIMES — “You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them.

Published

7 years ago

February 3, 2019

By Anita Debro

“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone who would, please send nominations to Erica Wright at ewright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.

A’KHI AND RAVEN KING

Live: Vestavia Hills

Married: April 28, 2018

Met: A’Khi and Raven met in 2006 at New Birth Family Church when they were both in the teen ministry. Raven said she was friends with A’Khi but nothing more. “We were just a group of teens who went bowling and skating together,” Raven recalled. “I had no interest in him then.” A’Khi felt differently, though. “I liked her.” By the summer of 2012 the two had become best friends. “I had seen her with all of her boyfriends,” A’Khi said. Shortly after Raven broke up with a boyfriend the two began talking more and the idea of being in a relationship surfaced. “I really prayed about it and him,” Raven said. “I started to see his love for God and I could see his heart.” Raven said she and A’Khi were very different — she was an extrovert and he was a quiet homebody. A’Khi did not think that those differences should keep them from being together. After more prayer, Raven decided to put her trust and faith in A’Khi. Just as their relationship was getting started, A’Khi left for Tuskegee University.

First date: Because A’Khi was away at Tuskegee and Raven remained in Birmingham, it would be nearly two years after they began dating before the couple would actually go on a real date. “We mainly saw each other on Skype,” Raven said. In 2014 they finally went to Chili’s Restaurant in Trussville. “I had saved up just enough money to take her out,” A’khi recalled.

The proposal: A’Khi felt that the time was right in 2016 to ask for Raven’s hand in marriage. He bought a ring and decided to propose after a movie date. “I had the ring in my pocket and as soon as the credits started rolling my heart was beating loudly,” he said. Raven said she went to the restroom after the movie was over and when she returned she could not find A’Khi and the rest of the family members who had come to the movie. Raven said she became frustrated when she could not find A’Khi and when she finally found him she was ready to fuss. A’Khi said he pretended to start an argument but then instead proposed. “My mouth just dropped open,” Raven said. She said “yes.” But a few months into their engagement the couple ended the relationship. “It was a bad break up,” Raven said. “We both thought we were done with each other.”

“I actually lost the engagement ring that I gave to her,” A’Khi said. “It was that bad.”

Take Two: A’Khi and Raven spent six months apart before reconciling. One of the things that sparked the reconciliation was a chance meeting between A’Khi and her father at church, Raven said. “They met and clicked immediately,” Raven said. “My father encouraged me to unblock him and to talk about what I was feeling.” Raven said that meeting and her father’s approval of A’Khi ultimately led them back together. On Christmas 2017 A’Khi, with a new engagement ring, proposed to Raven for the second time.

The wedding: The couple wed at the Trussville Civic Center. Raven remembers being nervous and shaking before her vows, but her nerves calmed after she walked down the aisle. “That day was amazing,” she said. “I was just very grateful.” A’Khi said he was not nervous, but instead excited about beginning their journey as a married couple.

Words of Wisdom: The couple said they have learned a great deal in nearly one year of marriage. “I have learned how to yield,” he said. “It is important to yield and to listen and try to understand (your spouse),” A’Khi said.

Raven said it is important for couples to be committed to continuing to learn about their spouse and to learn how to be a couple. “I don’t know everything and he doesn’t know everything, so we have to keep learning,” she said. “It is important for a couple to continue to learn each other and learn how to be a healthy and happy couple.”

Happily ever after: Raven and A’Khi enjoy going to the movies. Raven likes to travel, while A’Khi likes to spend time at home, hang out with friends and play pool with his team. Raven, a native of Selma, is an aspiring dancer and actress. She teaches dance classes and also works on the staff at Danberry Assisted Living. A’Khi, a Birmingham native, works for the Birmingham Water Works.

This article originally appeared in The Birmingham Times.

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Up Next

Destiny Inspire: Atlanta’s fastest-growing empowerment expert

Don't Miss

The American Dream Remains Deferred for Black Millennials

Oakland Post

Click to comment

Arts and Culture

Book Review: Books on Black History and Black Life for Kids

For the youngest reader, “As You Are: A Hope for Black Sons” by Kimberly A. Gordon Biddle, illustrated by David Wilkerson (Magination Press, $18.99) is a book for young Black boys and for their mothers. It’s a hope inside a prayer that the world treats a child gently, and it could make a great baby shower gift.

Published

2 days ago

February 10, 2026

Oakland Post

Photo of Black History Month book covers by Terri Schlichenmeyer.

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

Authors: Various, Copyright: c. 2025, 2026, Publishers: Various, SRPs: $17.99-$18.99, Page Counts: Various,

Everybody in your family has stories to share.

Your parents have told you some, no doubt. Your grandparents have offered a few, too, and aunties and uncles have spun some good tales. But there’s so much more to know, so grab one of these great books and learn about Black History and Black life.

For the youngest reader, “As You Are: A Hope for Black Sons” by Kimberly A. Gordon Biddle, illustrated by David Wilkerson (Magination Press, $18.99) is a book for young Black boys and for their mothers. It’s a hope inside a prayer that the world treats a child gently, and it could make a great baby shower gift.

If someone said you couldn’t do something that you were clearly able to do, would you fight to do it anyhow? In the new book, “Remember Her Name! Debbie Allen’s Rise to Fame” by Tami Charles, illustrated by Meredith Lucius (Charlesbridge, $17.99), a young girl in the Jim Crow South is told that she can’t dance because of the color of her skin.

She didn’t listen, though, and neither did her mother, who took her daughter to Mexico, where the girl soared! This is an inspiration for any 5-to-7-year-old; be sure to check out the back-of-the-book information, if you’re an adult fan.

Do you often hear your elders say things that sound like lessons? They might be, so “Where There is Love: A Story of African Proverbs” by Shauntay Grant, illustrated by Leticia Moreno (Penguin Workshop, $18.99) is a book you’ll like. It’s a quick-to-read collection of short proverbs that you can say every day. Kids ages 4-to-6 will easily remember what they find in this book; again, look in the back for more information.

Surely, you love your neighborhood, which is why the tale inside “Main Street: A Community Story about Redlining” by Britt Hawthorne and Tiffany Jewell, illustrated by David Wilkerson (Penguin Kokila, $18.99) is a book for you.

Olivia’s neighborhood is having a block party, but she’s sad when no one shows up. That’s when she learns that “the government” is discriminating against the people and businesses near where she lives. So, what can she and her neighbors do? The answer might inspire 6-to-8-year-old kids to stand up to wrongs they see, and to help make their neighborhoods stronger and safer.

And finally, if a kid wants a book, where can they go to find it? In “I’m So Happy You’re Here: A Celebration of Library Joy” by Mychal Threets, illustrated by Lorraine Nam (Random House, $18.99) is a good introduction to the best of what a library has to offer. The freedom to walk into a library and borrow a book is the theme here, as is the sheer happiness of being welcomed, no matter who you are. This is an easy book for kids as young as two and as old as five to enjoy.

On that note, if you want more, head to that library, or a nearby bookstore. They’ll be glad to see you. They’ve got stories to share.

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Alameda County

Black History Events in the East Bay

What began as Negro History Week in 1926 by author and journalist Carter G. Woodson as a way to celebrate the achievements of African Americans, the observance is now a month-long event

Published

3 days ago

February 9, 2026

Oakland Post

The Oakland Black Cowboys Association will hold an event to teach children the love of riding at Fairyland on Feb. 14. Here, a member of the OBCA high-fives a young rider at an event in 2021. Facebook photo.

By Post Staff

What began as Negro History Week in 1926 by author and journalist Carter G. Woodson as a way to celebrate the achievements of African Americans, the observance is now a month-long event, and nearly every day in the Bay Area, there is somewhere to honor the ancestors, our living thought leaders, artists, and activists, and prepare children for the future. Below are just a few places to go.

Lunar New Year X Black History Month 2026: Celebrating Asian & African American Solidarity

Now in its fourth year, the Oakland Asian Cultural Center rolls out its biggest event, featuring lion dancers, drummers, performers, arts & crafts, a Kids + Teens Zone curated by Storyland Collective, a marketplace of local artisans, and free admission for all ages! This event is part of OACC’s ongoing Open E.A.R.S. for Change initiative, launched in 2020 to build stronger relationships between local APIA and Black communities. SambaFunk closes out the day at 3:15 and the Bantaba Drum Call and Comrade Lover Lion Dancers perform shortly after story time for young children at noon. Register for free tickets. https://oacc.liveimpact.org/li/8737/sevent/evt/home/294475/69

Oakland Asian Cultural Center
388 Ninth St. Suite 290
Oakland, CA
Feb. 7, 11 a.m.- 4 p.m.

DIY: Black Culture Bookmark Making

Go to the Golden Gate Branch of the Oakland Public Library for small-scale collaging at this Black-themed make-your-own-bookmarks session.

Bring: Your vision, creativity, and, if you like, wallet-sized photos or images of your favorite Black heroes or family members.

We’ll supply the cardstock paper, African diaspora designs, artwork, images, lettering, glue, scissors, and laminating. This session is suitable for adults and seniors.

Golden Gate Library
5609 San Pablo Ave.
Oakland, CA,
Feb. 11, 5:30-7 p.m.

Oakland Black Cowboy Association Shares Love of the Ride

Celebrate the history, culture, and living legacy of Black cowboys at the Black Cowboy Academy. It will be an interactive day of lasso lessons, pony grooming with real live ponies, and meet and greets with actual cowboys! Fairyland joins hands and hearts with the Oakland Black Cowboy Association and the Metropolitan Horsemen’s Association this Valentine’s Day for an immersive event of learning and love. Included with general admission.

Children’s Fairyland
699 Bellevue Ave.
Sat., Feb. 14, 10 a.m.- 1 p.m.

Love Stories for Black History Month

At the Berkeley Public Library, a children’s book fair “Valentine to Black Stories” will feature some of your favorite Black authors of children’s books!

Come celebrate love, Black authors, and Black stories at this special children’s book fair. They will have free books, crafts and special presentations from Bay Area Black authors.Festivities will feature a collage workshop led by Oakland artist Chanel London of Hella Artsy. Participants will be invited to make collage portraits inspired by artist Derrick Barnes.

Berkeley Central Public Library
2090 Kittredge St. Berkeley, CA
Sat. Feb. 14, 1- 4 p.m.

The Black Child Book Fair (BCBF) from Chicago to Oakland, CA- Book Signing Event

BCBF began in Chicago in 2009 through the vision and experience of author and poet Darryl Harvey. Harvey’s vision brings extraordinary children’s book authors together to close the great need for black representation in children’s books. Engage with authors, participate in story time and fun activities.

Oakland African American Museum and Library
859 14^th St., Oakland CA
Sat. Feb. 21, 12-5 p.m.

Oakland Post

Posts by Oakland Post

Activism

Medi-Cal Cares for You and Your Baby Every Step of the Way

Across California, including Alameda and San Francisco counties, Medi-Cal is working to address those concerns by expanding and coordinating maternal health services so pregnant and postpartum people receive care that is respectful, comprehensive, and easier to navigate. From the first prenatal visit through a child’s first birthday, Medi-Cal provides coverage and support designed to protect both parent and baby.

Published

1 week ago

February 3, 2026

Oakland Post

Shuttterstock.

Advertorial

For many pregnant people, pregnancy brings a mix of both joy and uncertainty. Alongside excitement, there are questions about finding the right doctor, understanding what care is covered, and knowing where to turn for support after the baby arrives. For Black families in Alameda and San Francisco counties those questions are often compounded by long-standing disparities in maternal health outcomes.

These services are available to people who qualify for Medi-Cal. In California, eligibility is based primarily on income, household size, age, pregnancy status, disability, or other qualifying circumstances. Pregnant people qualify at higher income levels than non-pregnant adults and remain eligible through pregnancy and for 12 months after the pregnancy ends.

Importantly, pregnant people who qualify for Medi-Cal are eligible for full-scope coverage regardless of immigration status, including medical, behavioral health, dental, and vision services during pregnancy and the postpartum year.

A Clearer Path Through Pregnancy: The Birthing Care Pathway

The Birthing Care Pathway helps pregnant people understand what care they should receive and when, while supporting providers in delivering coordinated, culturally responsive services. It outlines key steps during pregnancy, including prenatal screenings, behavioral health check-ins, nutrition support, and preparation for labor and delivery.

For Black pregnant and postpartum people in Alameda and San Francisco counties the pathway emphasizes early prenatal care, shared decision-making, and connections to community-based programs that address medical needs and social drivers of health.

Doula Services: Support Before, During, and After Birth

Medi-Cal covers doula services for pregnant and postpartum members who qualify. Doulas provide non-medical emotional support, education, and advocacy during pregnancy, labor and delivery, and postpartum recovery. Research shows doula care is associated with reduced stress, improved birth outcomes, and increased breastfeeding success.

Covered doula services include prenatal visits, support during labor and delivery, and postpartum follow-up visits, in accordance with Medi-Cal benefit guidelines.

Care That Continues After Birth: The Postpartum Pathway

More than half of pregnancy-related deaths in California occur after childbirth, with Black families facing the greatest risks. The Postpartum Pathway defines the care pregnant and postpartum people who qualify for Medi-Cal should receive during the first year after birth.

The Pathway promotes a comprehensive postpartum visit within 12 weeks, ongoing primary care through 12 months postpartum, screening and treatment for postpartum depression and anxiety, breastfeeding support, chronic condition management, and referrals to community-based services.

Mental Health, Dental, and Vision Care Included

Medi-Cal covers perinatal behavioral health services for eligible members, including screening, therapy, counseling, and medication management when medically necessary. Services may be provided in person or through telehealth.

Pregnant and postpartum people who qualify for Medi-Cal also receive full dental benefits, including exams, cleanings, and medically necessary treatment, as well as vision care such as eye exams and eyeglasses.

Community Supports Through CalAIM

CalAIM (California Advancing and Innovating Medi-Cal) is a statewide initiative that strengthens Medi-Cal by improving care coordination and addressing health-related social needs.

Through CalAIM, eligible Medi-Cal members in Alameda and San Francisco counties may receive Community Supports such as transitional housing assistance, medically tailored meals, and help navigating social services.

How to Contact Medi-Cal in Alameda and San Francisco Counties

Pregnant and postpartum people who meet Medi-Cal eligibility requirements can get help enrolling, choosing a health plan, finding providers, or accessing doula and postpartum services by contacting the Alameda County Medi-Cal office at (510) 795-2428 or the San Francisco Medi-Cal office at (855) 355-5757 or calling the number on their Medi-Cal card.

Support at Every Step

Pregnancy and postpartum care should be clear, compassionate, and complete. Through the Birthing Care Pathway, Postpartum Pathway, doula services, behavioral health care, Black Infant Health, and Community Supports, Medi-Cal is working to ensure that eligible families in Alameda and San Francisco counties — especially Black Californians — receive the care and support they need to stay healthy and give their babies a strong start.

Ready to Learn More or Get Started?

Pregnant and postpartum people in Alameda and San Francisco counties can learn more about Medi-Cal benefits, enroll in coverage, or get help finding providers by contacting the Alameda County Medi-Cal office or San Francisco County Medi-Cal office or calling the number on their Medi-Cal card. Trained representatives can explain eligibility, available services, and next steps.