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Grief, Advocacy, and Education: A Counselor Reflects on Black Maternal Health

SAN DIEGO VOICE & VIEWPOINT — Last month healthcare leaders, birth workers, and community members gathered to honor the legacy of Charleston native Dr. Janell Green Smith, a nurse-midwife and doctor of nursing practice who died in January from childbirth complications. She had participated in more than 300 births and specialized in helping Black women give birth safely.

Published

8 months ago

March 24, 2026

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By Jennifer Porter Gore | Word-In-Black | San Diego Voice and Viewpoint

In 2024, the number of U.S. mothers who died as a result of pregnancy or childbirth dropped compared to 2023. But while slightly fewer Black mothers died that year, they still had three times the mortality rate of white women.

South Carolina’s rates of maternal deaths outpaced even the national rates. In fact, the state’s overall rate of maternal deaths between 2019 and 2023 was higher than all but eight states and the District of Columbia.

Last month healthcare leaders, birth workers, and community members gathered to honor the legacy of Charleston native Dr. Janell Green Smith, a nurse-midwife and doctor of nursing practice who died in January from childbirth complications. She had participated in more than 300 births and specialized in helping Black women give birth safely.

Her death shocked the community and her colleagues who are determined to address concerns about Black maternal health. The event also covered the importance of protecting mental health during grief and of men’s role in solving the maternal health crisis.

As both a therapist and a father, Lawrence Lovell, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Breakthrough Solutions, discussed ways the event’s attendees could process their grief over Green Smith’s death. He also shared ways male partners can advocate for women’s maternal health during pregnancy and childbirth.

Lovell spoke not just as a therapist but also as a father whose own family had briefly crossed paths with Green Smith. The event, he said, emerged organically from a moment of collective mourning.

Despite the grief, “it was still, like, a really beautiful event, a much-needed event, and it almost felt like we were all giving each other a collective family hug,” says Lovell.

His connection to Green Smith, Lovell says, was brief but meaningful during his wife’s pregnancy with their second child. Green Smith was practicing at the same birthing center where they had their child. She began practicing in Greenville a short time later.Even that short connection carried significance for Lovell, given the small number of Black maternal health professionals.

Lovell did not initially plan to become a mental health practitioner; he chose the career path after graduating from college, when someone suggested he consider psychology. His interest deepened when he noticed how few Black men work in mental health.

“Being Black man and playing football in college, there weren’t a lot of people that look like me talking about mental health,” says Lovell. “[I wanted] to give people that look like me an opportunity to work with someone that looks like them.”

Working with Expectant and New Parents

Lovell often counsels couples preparing for parenthood by, helping partners understand what a successful pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum recovery look like. That often means helping women manage postpartum depression.

As a man, Lovell says, it’s “humbling” that a woman “just trusts me enough to work with me through their pregnancy or their postpartum recovery.”

In his work, Lovell has noticed how few men understand pregnancy before they experience it with their partner. Because early pregnancy symptoms are often invisible, he says, men may underestimate how much support a mom-to-be actually needs.

“Sometimes they may not realize they don’t know much about pregnancy and what to expect in those three trimesters,” Lovell says. “I tell a lot of the men that just because you can’t see [she’s pregnant] doesn’t mean that she won’t appreciate your intense support in that first trimester.”

Education about pregnancy and postpartum recovery, he says, can change how men support their partners.

Teaching Advocacy in the Delivery Room

Another major focus of Lovell’s counseling is preparing men to advocate for mothers during labor.

“Helping men understand what pregnancy looks like: what delivery is going to look like, and what are the realistic expectations that I should have of myself in postpartum,” he says.

Lovell encourages partners to be honest about their expectations for what will happen during delivery. He helps them prepare for the big day by discussing the birth plan and knowing how to quickly recognize problems. Clear communication, he says, prevents misunderstandings.

He regularly trains men to ask their partners detailed questions about their expectations during and after pregnancy. Advocacy in medical settings can be especially important and requires attention to details the mother may not be able to address.

“It’s always important to fine-tune things and truly understand what helps your partner feel most supported,” Lovell says. “Instead of guessing, you should ask.”

Lovell recalls a moment during the birth of his first child when he had to take that role.

During the delivery, “I felt like something wasn’t as sanitary as I’d like it to be,” he says. “I asked, ‘Hey, can you switch those out? Can you change your gloves?’”

Lovell has a succinct but powerful message he regularly shares with clients’ families, and he shared it with attendees at last month’s event.

“Just to believe women,” he says. “I’ve worked with different couples, and sometimes I’m not really sure that there’s enough empathy from the men.”

That includes how women express pain.

“If a woman says, ‘my pain is at a nine,’ just because how you would express yourself at a nine is different than how she’s expressing herself at [that level] doesn’t mean you shouldn’t believe her,” he says.

Empathy, he says, can change outcomes far beyond the delivery room.

“We’ve got to believe women when they’re talking about their experiences and their feelings and their pain,” he says. “I think there’s a lot that we can prevent if we empathize better.”

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Smooth Ride! Car Suspension & Comfort Tested #shorts

Smooth suspension meets surprisingly spacious legroom. Experience true comfort on any road!

Published

1 month ago

October 4, 2026

Oakland Post

Car suspension test demonstrating a smooth ride, comfort features, and handling on various terrains.

Experience the difference smooth suspension makes on rough streets. Check out the surprisingly good second-row legroom – test it yourself for true comfort.

Watch the full video: https://youtu.be/l9Z571za5Gc

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61 years since Selma, Houston leaders say the bridge remains to be crossed

61 years after Selma, Houston leaders say the fight for equality continues. The issues that sparked the marches still impact Black Americans today.

Published

1 month ago

October 4, 2026

Oakland Post

Houston leaders discuss the ongoing struggle for civil rights 61 years after Selma, emphasizing the need for continued action.

It has been 61 years since the Selma marches. But political leaders in Houston say that the issues protesters were marching for still plague the lives of Black Americans.

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Here is what you need to know about finding unique white elephant gift ideas that everyone wants to steal

The best white elephant gift ideas are funny enough to get a reaction but useful enough that people actually want to steal them. Look for gifts with a surprise factor, broad appeal, an inside joke, and just enough personality to spark some friendly competition. The wrapping paper comes off, the room goes quiet for half […]

Published

1 month ago

October 4, 2026

Oakland Post

The best white elephant gift ideas are funny enough to get a reaction but useful enough that people actually want to steal them. Look for gifts with a surprise factor, broad appeal, an inside joke, and just enough personality to spark some friendly competition.

The wrapping paper comes off, the room goes quiet for half a second, and suddenly everyone wants the same gift. That is the sweet spot. A great white elephant pick should make people laugh, lean in, and start plotting their next steal before the turn is even over.

Should a White Elephant Gift Be Funny or Useful?

A white elephant gift can be funny or useful, but the strongest choices usually give people a reason to laugh and a reason to keep the item. A practical gift with an odd design, unexpected feature, or playful theme can get a reaction without becoming something the recipient immediately wants to give away.

The right balance depends on the group. Close friends and family members may enjoy a ridiculous gag gift because they already understand one another’s sense of humor.

A workplace exchange, neighborhood party, or mixed-age gathering usually calls for something with broader appeal. In those settings, humor works better when it is built into an item people could still use afterward.

It also helps to think about how quickly the gift will make sense once it is opened. A strangely shaped kitchen tool, oversized mug, quirky desk accessory, or unexpectedly fancy everyday item can create an immediate reaction. Guests understand the joke right away, while the item still has enough practical value to attract a steal.

Pure gag gifts can be harder to pull off. Something that exists only for the punchline may get a big laugh during the reveal and then sit untouched for the rest of the game. If the goal is to bring one of the gifts everyone keeps fighting over, usefulness gives the joke staying power.

Memorable Present Ideas: Creating Inside Joke Gifts

Inside joke gifts can make a white elephant exchange feel much more personal, especially when most of the group shares the same stories. The trick is choosing a reference that people will recognize quickly instead of building the entire joke around something only two guests understand.

You can turn a memorable vacation mishap, office catchphrase, family story, or long-running group joke into the theme of the gift. A personalized comic book can work especially well when it turns familiar people or a ridiculous shared moment into part of the story.

Think carefully about who the joke involves before ordering anything permanent. The gift should make the person feel included in the fun, not singled out for the wrong reason.

Can You Bring Something You Already Own?

Holiday gift exchanges can be a good place to re-gift something you never used, especially if it is unopened and clean.

The following can all work if they still look presentable:

A duplicate kitchen gadget
An untouched game
A decorative item
A sealed gift set
An unopened candle
A new travel accessory

The goal is to give the item a second chance, not use the exchange as an excuse to clear out damaged or unwanted clutter.

Take a close look at the packaging before wrapping it. Faded boxes, missing pieces, visible wear, or anything that looks obviously used can make the gift feel careless.

Wrapping Budget-Friendly Gifts

Wrapping can make gifts more entertaining before anyone even knows what’s inside.

Misdirection works especially well for fun party games. Put a small gift inside a much larger box. Use packaging from an unrelated household item.

Add harmless weight so guests cannot guess what they are holding. The reveal becomes part of the joke without changing the gift itself.

You can also lean into the theme of the exchange. Bright paper, oversized bows, reusable bags, or deliberately over-the-top wrapping can make an ordinary item feel more memorable. If the gift itself is already funny, simple wrapping may work better so the surprise stays hidden until the last second.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is Picking Last an Advantage in White Elephant?

Picking last can be an advantage because you get to see almost every gift before making your move. Instead of choosing blindly from the remaining wrapped presents, you can steal something that has already caught your attention if the rules still allow it.

That advantage depends on the house rules. Some games limit how many times a gift can be stolen.

Others lock an item once it reaches a certain number of steals. If the most popular gifts are already unavailable, the final player may have fewer strong options than expected.

The first player can also get another turn at the end in some versions of the game. That rule can balance things out, since the person who started with the least information may get one final chance to steal.

How Do You Plan White Elephant for a Large Group?

For a large white elephant exchange, set a firm spending limit and establish the stealing rules in advance.

Create a clear turn order before the game begins. Drawing numbers as guests arrive can save time once everyone is ready to start.

Keep the number of steals per gift limited so the game does not drag on. It also helps to have one person track which creative holiday presents have been stolen and when they are locked, especially if dozens of people are participating.

Can You Play White Elephant Virtually?

A virtual white elephant exchange can work over a video call, with one person keeping track of the turn order and each steal. Guests can either mail physical gifts ahead of time or use digital gifts that can be delivered once the game ends.

Set the spending limit and stealing rules before everyone joins. It also helps to decide how gifts will be revealed and who is responsible for sending each one afterward so the exchange does not become confusing.