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‘There are three people in your marriage… you, your partner and God’

THE BIRMINGHAM TIMES — I was a freshman and Shamar was a junior…as the night went on I was at the bar fixing my food and he came over and introduced himself. We conversed all night, we had amazing conversation and that night God literally told me that he was my husband and that kind of freaked me out because at the time I wasn’t hearing from God audibly. We ended up exchanging numbers but he never called.

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NADIA AND SHAMAR GRAMBY

By Je’Don Holloway-Talley, Special to The Birmingham Times

“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Erica Wright ewright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.

NADIA AND SHAMAR GRAMBY

Live: Chelsea

Married: July 14, 2012

Met: In Huntsville in the fall of 2003 at a fellow Alabama Agricultural and Mechanical University [A&M] student’s apartment. Nadia’s friend and Shamar’s frat brother were throwing a social gathering and Shamar was one of the hosts.

“I was a freshman and Shamar was a junior…as the night went on I was at the bar fixing my food and he came over and introduced himself,” Nadia recalled. “We conversed all night, we had amazing conversation and that night God literally told me that he was my husband and that kind of freaked me out because at the time I wasn’t hearing from God audibly. … We ended up exchanging numbers but he never called.”

Shamar recalled that Nadia stood out. “I saw this beautiful young lady sitting there… I saw her communicating with everybody and she seemed fun and outgoing and it’s like God was telling me there was something about her that I needed to find out . . . we ended up having a real deep conversation which is odd for those kinds of parties. We talked about our goals, and faith…we had a lot in common and had a lot of the same things that we wanted out of life.”

First date: The pair went to see a movie that they cannot recall and afterward had a candlelit dinner at Shamar’s apartment. They ate steak, potatoes and green beans. Nadia recalled being very impressed. Shamar said he couldn’t recall the movie but did remember he cooked a full course meal and had some candles flickering. “I wanted to make sure she knew that I thought she was unique and special and that she deserved a certain level of effort and care.

Nadia said she couldn’t focus on the movie because “I was jittery and nervous the whole time. When Shamar picked me up from my dorm room he had flowers for me…he was playing R&B in the car, he was such a gentleman and opened all the doors for me… when we got done with the movie he said, ‘I’m going to cook you dinner and I got to watch him make it.”

Nadia said they shared a kiss at the end of the night. “I really wanted to kiss him and I knew he wanted to kiss me, but he was so respectful that I knew he would have never made the move to kiss me first, so I gave him the three-second start, I leaned in [first].

“I took it from there,” Shamar said.

The turn: Nadia and Shamar dated throughout their collegiate careers and had a son in September 2007. They didn’t want to get married early on “just for the look of it,” Nadia said. “We didn’t want to get married just because we had a baby, we wanted to be ready and marry because we were still in love.”

After dating for seven years they began talking in 2010 about marriage.

The proposal: On a couple’s trip in 2011 in Las Vegas, Nevada at the Venetian Hotel on a gondola ride.

“I chose the Venetian [hotel] because I had previously been to Italy and I wanted to take her one day so I thought it would be the perfect place…I chose a special song for the guy [paddling the boat] to sing to her in the Italian language and when we got to [the arching bridge] I had the guy pause there and I told her how much she meant to me and how I could not live without her in my life and that I would be honored if she would be my wife. I took the ring out and she said ‘yes.’

“I was surprised because we had been [on many adventures] during the trip and we were so casual, I could not believe he was proposing to me while I had on jeans and a tee-shirt,” Nadia laughed, “…when the man started singing in Italian and he [Shamar] started going in his pocket I was like this is really happening today!…it brought me back to the day I heard the voice of God and His promise was really about to manifest.”

The wedding: At the Museum of Art in Huntsville, officiated by Pastor Windell Davis of Union Chapel Church in Huntsville. Their colors were tiffany-blue, mocha and white.

Most memorable for the groom was Nadia’s walk down the aisle. “The band ‘Remedy’ (A&M students) was playing live and my cousin Sheena was singing [the band’s song] ‘You’ as she came down the aisle… Her essence and her beauty, and all of our memories came to a head, our child, I just broke down right then and there. Somebody had to pass me a handkerchief,” Shamar laughed.

Most memorable for the bride was “when we did the unity sand together after we did communion as a family,” Nadia said. “Instead of union candles, we did sand, so Shamar and I, and our son Khalil all had our own sand that we poured in a glass together and for me, that was really special for our family to be under the covenant of God in our relationship.”

Words of wisdom: “Always put God first, put Him as the head of your life,” Shamar said. Next, be loyal to each other and have each other’s back. It may not always be 50-50, but be willing to pick up where the other left off. Always encourage each other. Always keep in mind the reasons why you married that person and be willing to talk and look at their perspective in life because people change. Be an open book, whether it’s good or bad.

Nadia said, “you must remember that there are three people in your marriage: you, your partner and God. If you remember that and keep Him in the middle of your marriage, you’re more likely to have a successful [union]. Also] knowing that I can trust my husband… I can trust him with my heart and I can trust him with who I am at the core of who I am, and because I can trust him I can communicate… I can be honest, I can tell him how I really feel because I know that he will honor me and take care of me as his wife….

Happily ever after: The Gramby’s have one child, son Khalil, 12, and enjoy helping to build other couples as board members of the marriage ministry at their church More than Conquerors in West End.

Nadia, 34, is a Daphne, Ala. native and graduated from Daphne High School. She attended Alabama A&M where she studied psychology and earned a B.S. in Human Resource Management from Faulkner University (Hunstville campus). She is a birth and post partum doula and owns her own company ‘Crown of Glory Birth Services’ and is also an [online] student midwife at The National College of midwifery (in New Mexico).

Shamar, 37, is a Columbus, OH native, and graduated from Reynoldsburg High School. He attended Alabama A&M, where he earned a B.S. in mechanical engineering. He is an accounts service rep in sales and marketing for Viva Health.

This article originally appeared in The Birmingham Times.

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Youth-Led Black August Event Brings Past to Present at East Oakland Boxing Association

The mission of Youth Alive! Is to “break the cycle of violence, heal trauma, and uplift a thriving community of leaders, to save lives in Oakland and beyond” by serving “as mentors, youth leaders, counselors, case managers, intervention specialists and violence interrupters,” working “to help violently wounded people heal themselves and their community.”
The post The mission of Youth Alive! Is to “break the cycle of violence, heal trauma, and uplift a thriving community of leaders, to save lives in Oakland and beyond” by serving “as mentors, youth leaders, counselors, case managers, intervention specialists and violence interrupters,” working “to help violently wounded people heal themselves and their community.” appeared first on BlackPressUSA.

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Youth-Led Black August Event Brings Past to Present at East Oakland Boxing Association

The East Oakland Boxing Association (EOBA) and Youth Alive! came together on Aug. 21 to share with their community all that Black August means to them.

Held on EOBA’s patio at 816 98th Ave. in Deep East Oakland, the two organizations hosted their second annual Black August Experience, featuring a food tasting, financial literacy and mindfulness workshops, and voter registration with the League of Women Voters Oakland (LWV).

Black August is known as a time to uphold the legacy of prisoners who protested their conditions by fasting, fighting, and educating themselves on the economic and political circumstances that contributed to their incarceration.

According to its website, “EOBA is a multi-service youth and community development hub that goes far beyond the ring. While rooted in the discipline of boxing, for nearly 40 years EOBA has also integrated robust programs in workforce development, food justice, afterschool enrichment, financial literacy, mentorship, and wellness.”.

The mission of Youth Alive! Is to “break the cycle of violence, heal trauma, and uplift a thriving community of leaders, to save lives in Oakland and beyond” by servingas mentors, youth leaders, counselors, case managers, intervention specialists and violence interrupters,” working “to help violently wounded people heal themselves and their community.”

Through Coro California, another leadership organization serving young people across the state for 80 years, they gained a broader understanding of Black August.

EOBA Executive Director Dawna Williams spoke about how much she learned about Black August from the youth who created it. “I let them educate me,” she said. Instead of talking about prison reform and mass incarceration, Williams and youth interns found that Black August meant so much more. “We would have done a disservice if we had just focused on who the people were and what their situation was…We tried to take their message from back in the day and make it relevant to the young people today. What do they need to know?”

Youth interns created and placed posters around the patio to help participants understand how traditional Black foodways, civic engagement, financial literacy, and the power of education are relevant to Black resistance today.

An EOBA member described Black August with Youth ALIVE! as “a whole vibe. “This year we added the Fun Zone for the kids, because you really cannot go wrong with a Fun Zone. I also loved seeing everyone chillin’ in the outdoor lounge, catching some Vitamin D and just enjoying a Friday evening together.”

The food tasting, a popular event from last year, featured traditional Black foods such as black-eyed peas, johnny cakes, and fried chicken. Led by Williams, the tasting included a talk about how these traditional foods were made and why they are forms of Black resilience.

The “‘Plate of History’ was a favorite of the online writers. “Fun, educational, and did I mention delicious? Our Taste of History cook, Angela Southall, served up some good eats while connecting food to history and culture.”

The writer also commended the “League of Women Voters Oakland for their civic leadership and for getting our young people informed, ready, and registered to vote.”

Overall, it was a “good Friday event in East Oakland,” the writer said.

Upcoming Black August events: Building Opportunities for Self-Sufficiency (BOSS), will host “Black August: The Arc of Liberation” at Oakland City Hall on Sat. Aug. 29, from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

The websites for East Oakland Boxing Association, Youth Alive! and CORO are sources for this report.

Jana Lang is an Oakland resident, teacher, gardener and poet participating in the Propel News Initiative.

The post The mission of Youth Alive! Is to “break the cycle of violence, heal trauma, and uplift a thriving community of leaders, to save lives in Oakland and beyond” by serving “as mentors, youth leaders, counselors, case managers, intervention specialists and violence interrupters,” working “to help violently wounded people heal themselves and their community.” appeared first on BlackPressUSA.

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EV Home Charging Warning: What Dealerships Won’t Tell You! #shorts

Is your home EV charging setup ready? Dealerships may not warn you about critical outlet and circuit needs. Find out before you plug in!
The post EV Home Charging Warning: What Dealerships Won’t Tell You! #shorts appeared first on BlackPressUSA.

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Dealerships won’t tell you: charging this big battery at home isn’t always simple. Verify your outlet capacity, circuit, and setup before assuming level one or basic outdoor outlets will suffice.

🔗 Watch the full video: https://youtu.be/A9Cd2SspoaQ

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The post EV Home Charging Warning: What Dealerships Won’t Tell You! #shorts appeared first on BlackPressUSA.

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Car Buying Secrets: Dealership Traps & How to Avoid Them #shorts

Don’t get tricked at the dealership! Learn essential car buying secrets to secure the best deal and avoid hidden traps.
The post Car Buying Secrets: Dealership Traps & How to Avoid Them #shorts appeared first on BlackPressUSA.

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Before stepping into a dealership, secure bank pre-approval for your financing rate. Then, get the out-the-door price in writing. Never discuss monthly payments until that number is fixed. Test road noise and rear visibility yourself. Decline add-ons with a simple ‘Not today’. Check backseat space with your tallest household member.

🔗 Watch the full video: https://youtu.be/maAOBjO1puY

#AutoNetwork

The post Car Buying Secrets: Dealership Traps & How to Avoid Them #shorts appeared first on BlackPressUSA.

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