Commentary
Miscarriage: An Unspoken Taboo
Narissa L. Harris
The holidays bring up a myriad of feelings. Amongst them are joy, anxiety, excitement, and loss. Many people reminisce and others dream about their wishes for self and others. During this time, many feel the loss or experience of missing a recently departed relative, parent or spouse. Some are overwhelmed with finding oneself and family now homeless for the first time. The one unspeakable source of sadness that is seldom openly talked about is miscarriage.
While the birth of a new child is often thought of as a returning of a relative or Ancestral spirit, miscarriage is surrounded by taboo and deep unstated meanings. Traditionally our lifestyles supported and honored our ability to talk to the “knowing and knowable” spirits of the yet-to-be-born, the living and those who dwell in the afterlife. This cultural practice helped, in unexplained ways, to experience uninterrupted pregnancies or miscarriage. However, it has now become especially difficult to talk about miscarriage amongst Black women. I, however, can guarantee you a Black woman is struggling with loss due to miscarriage this holiday season. I speak so factually because of my personal experience.
Before God blessed my husband and I with our blessing of joy, I suffered 3 miscarriages. So, I know first-hand the impact a miscarriage can have on the mental health of a Black woman. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I also know that miscarriage mentally hits Black women much harder than other women. African-American women are two times more likely to have a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death when compared to white women. Socioeconomic status does not influence these results. There is no clear reason why Black women experience miscarriages more often than white women, but research hints to the racial trauma we experience.
Sadly, these higher levels of pregnancy loss add to the already higher rates of depression and anxiety Black women face. Additionally, there are not many programs offering support specifically geared to women who have experienced miscarriages. This lack of support creates feelings of loneliness and isolation, which for a Black woman can increase her potential for depression. Why? Because we are disconnected from our traditional cultural moorings resulting in our often feeling alone and isolated in our daily experiences of being Black. Lack of support for pregnancy loss causes feelings of isolation and intensifies loneliness.
As a mental health specialist, I believe the best way to support Black women experiencing miscarriages is to first invite them to talk with trusted family and friends and to seek counseling from African centered trained therapists. During this painful time, I believe we need to recognize and do the following:
#1 – Black women need to be held after experiencing a miscarriage.
We may say we don’t; we may even push you away. But we need to be held during this time of loss. Not just in the initial moments and days after losing a baby, we also needto be held weeks, months, and even years after our losses. Keep in mind that holding doesn’t always mean a physical hold. Sometimes Black women need to be held emotionally. Our emotions may not always be pretty. They may be loud, bold, or akin to a quiet storm. But our emotions are true to us however they show up! Make sure to hold and support the Black women in your lives who have experienced pregnancy loss…it matters.
#2 – Experiencing a miscarriage is not a “keep it together” situation.
If you don’t remember anything else from this article, remember this: MISCARRIAGE IS NOT A “KEEP IT TOGETHER” SITUATION!!! The loss of a pregnancy, a child, is traumatic, regardless of the stage of pregnancy a woman was in. Black women are prone to experience this trauma more intensely because of all the hats we wear and how we are forced to move through society. On a deeper level, many of our ancestors lost babies during the middle passage, during slavery, and during the fight for civil rights. Losing babies hits our wombs inter-generationally and trauma is etched into our psyche. Be careful not to encourage a Black woman who has lost a child to hold it together. Be cautious of the common language used “It will be okay”;”Just keep praying”; or “In due time.” These phrases mean well, and may even be true, but they also endorse the idea that Black women should move on because we are praying and/or believing that things will be okay. They endorse the need to always be strong and hold it together. But, when we allow ourselves to NOT keep it together, true and authentic healing can happen. It is important to allow a Black woman to process the grief felt with pregnancy loss. This brings me to my final point.
#3 – Expressive healing is what a Black woman needs after a miscarriage.
We need different forms of expression. We don’t always need to talk. Sometimes we just need to be in the presence of like-minded people. We sometimes need to be in the presence of people who express things cathartically, creating peace and positive energy. This can be through music, dancing, church, poetry, amd many other healing forms of expression. Often it is these deeper forms of expression, not related to our verbal abilities that allow a Black woman to not forget the hurt of losing a baby, but rather cope with it in healthy ways.
I pray that my story will help others think of the many untold stories of pregnancy loss. And if you are reading this, and still waiting on your blessing, I say to you I see you Sista: your pain is valid, your emotions are justified, and you are not alone.
The Association of Black Psychologists, Bay Area Chapter (ABPsi-Bay Area) is committed to providing the Post Newspaper readership with monthly discussions about critical issues in Black mental health. The ABPsi-Bay Area is a healing resource. We can be contacted at (bayareaabpsi@gmail.com) and readers are welcome to join us at our monthly chapter meeting, every third Saturday at the West Oakland Youth Center from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m.
Commentary
COMMENTARY: Oakland’s Black Students Have Gained Ground: We Shouldn’t Stop Now
New state data reveals that Black students in the Oakland Unified School District are making academic gains in reading and math at rates significantly faster than their peers statewide. These improvements follow a 2023 decision by board leadership to cancel school closures and instead invest in the Black Thriving Community Schools program. While the district continues to address budget challenges, proponents argue that maintaining these targeted resources is essential to narrowing long-standing achievement gaps. Read more about the specific policies driving these results.
Oakland’s Black students are making faster gains in reading and math than Black students statewide, according to state data released Oct. 15.
Those gains followed decisions by school board President Jennifer Brouhard and Vice President Valarie Bachelor to keep schools open, invest in Black students and support teachers.
Since 2023, Black students in Oakland Unified School District have gained about 31 points in English and math on the California School Dashboard — roughly three times the statewide English gain and more than twice the math gain. Our students still trail their statewide peers, but they have narrowed that gap by about a third.
In 2022, the previous board voted to close or reduce grades at 11 schools, mostly serving Black and Brown families. A state civil rights investigation later found the plan would have unlawfully discriminated against Black, low-income and disabled students. Brouhard and Bachelor opposed those closures and, after winning election, voted to cancel remaining plans in January 2023.
The board then expanded support through Black Thriving Community Schools, providing additional resources where Black enrollment exceeds 40%, and funded teachers dedicated to Black students and families. Its reparations policy requires schools to develop plans for Black student achievement.
Meanwhile, the district reduced a $100 million budget shortfall to about $30 million without closing schools, cut central office positions and approved its first balanced budget in 22 years. More than 99% of teaching positions were filled when this school year began.
These investments must grow. Black Thriving Community Schools still reach only some students who need them. Every Oakland child deserves a safe, racially just neighborhood school staffed by qualified teachers who can afford to stay.
The opposing slate argues closures should remain an option to address budget pressures. But a Stanford study found closures do not improve district finances because departing families take student funding with them. Other research links closures to lower college attendance and adult earnings. Majority-Black schools nationally are more than three times as likely to close.
Oakland knows the consequences. There is another path. Brouhard and Bachelor have begun moving Oakland in that direction, protecting classroom investments while confronting financial pressures.
Progress deserves continued public support. We cannot afford to reverse course.
About the Author
Walter Riley is a civil rights attorney and longtime community organizer in Oakland.
Black History
From Backyard Grilling to Jack London Square: Jamale Carlyle’s Chicken Wing Success Story
Jamale Carlyle turned a backyard hobby into a flourishing business after using grilling to cope with the loss of his mother and sister. The former corporate executive and CPA transitioned from a twenty-year career in the power industry to selling chicken wings at farmers’ markets in Tracy and Oakland. Following immediate success and viral social media attention, Carlyle opened two permanent storefronts and established a charitable partnership to support local youth. His journey highlights a unique path from internal auditing to community entrepreneurship. Read more.
For Jamale Carlyle, what began as a way to cope with personal loss has grown into a thriving chicken wing business with locations in Tracy and Oakland’s Jack London Square.
Raised in Los Angeles, Carlyle remains a southern kid at heart, guided by the values and principles instilled in him growing up. In 2020, he lost his sister, and two months later, his mother passed away. The losses left him grieving half of his immediate family and searching for a way forward.
He turned to God, and to two favorite pastimes: grilling chicken wings and deep sea fishing. Friends who gathered in his backyard encouraged him to turn his chicken wings into a business.
Carlyle had built a successful corporate career before becoming an entrepreneur. An economics graduate of the University of California, Irvine, he earned a master’s degree in accounting from the University of Southern California and became a certified public accountant (CPA).
He spent more than 20 years in the power industry, including working for Edison International in Los Angeles and Boston. He later joined JP Energy Partners in Dallas, helping its team take the company public.
After moving to San Francisco in 2016, Carlyle spent 10 years with Pattern Energy, a wind energy company, where he served as vice president of Internal Audit and took on numerous corporate responsibilities.
But in 2025, grilling became more than a hobby. Carlyle began selling his wings at farmers’ markets, initially dedicating four hours every Saturday. Nervous about his first outing in Tracy, he wondered whether his friends had simply been encouraging. Instead, he sold out on opening day.
He later brought his business to Jack London Square’s Farmers Market, where he again sold out on his first day. As demand grew, he expanded into catering before opening his Tracy storefront in May 2026 and his Jack London Square location in July.
Social media helped fuel the momentum. In Tracy, enthusiastic reviews on the community’s Rants and Raves Facebook page brought customers through the door. His Jack London Square debut also gained traction online, generating approximately 100,000 views on social media on his on opening day.
Still processing the rapid growth, Carlyle describes the business as something that began in his backyard as a stress reliever and became an unexpected calling, and a way of giving back.
“Giving back” has led to a partnership with Mike Jenkins, owner of Oakland Strong, a nonprofit gym known for Olympic style weight lifting and developing national and international champions. After Jenkins visited Carlyle’s store with members of his team, Carlyle returned the visit, and the two began discussing ways to partner to support the community.
“I’m really big on charity. I believe in giving back to the community,” Carlyle said. “I knew before I opened my store, I’d be doing something like this, this is what God wants me to do.”
Their collaboration will introduce the “Oakland Strong Bowl,” featuring 10 dry-rub Cajun wings and a vegetable-rice bowl for $17.99, with $2 from each purchase donated to the Oakland Strong Foundation. The initiative is expected to launch in early November.
“This builds community in Oakland and Jack London Square,” Carlyle said.
Looking ahead, Carlyle plans to expand the menu with chicken thighs, chicken tacos and additional sides. He is also pursuing a liquor license to create a destination where customers can enjoy wings while watching sports.
For now, he is focused on growing his two locations. But with customers embracing his food and his commitment to giving back, Carlyle sees the possibility of bringing his chicken wings to more communities throughout the Bay Area.
Commentary
OPINION: We Can Restore Checks and Balances on Trump
With the presidential administration facing criticism over its handling of healthcare, inflation, and government spending, political observers are shifting their focus toward the upcoming congressional elections to restore institutional checks and balances. Recent data suggests Democrats are within reach of the 218 seats needed for a House majority, while specific Senate races in states like Texas and Michigan remain pivotal. The outcome of these contests will determine the legislative branch’s ability to challenge executive policies on tariffs, taxes, and military engagement. Click to read more.
Rapper Nikki Minaj is the latest high profile political tool of Donald Trump. The president recently remarked on the Afro-Trinidadian singer’s backside, praising her “beautiful ass.”
Is this what passes as an appeal for the Black vote? But Trump is an equal opportunity offender.
At recent rallies, Trump made homo-erotic comments about Republican men and their butts, like when he referred to Ohio Senator John Husted’s as a “pile of muscle.” But shouldn’t Trump be talking about the real issues?
Gas prices are now higher than they were under former President Joe Biden. Inflation is higher than when Trump took office, while he has redecorated the White House and already spent over $200 million on gold filigree. At least 3 million people have been kicked off of Medicaid or Obamacare because of Trump-backed legislation in Congress.
The country needs a change in how Trump does business. We need a strong independent Congress in both the House and Senate that will be our voice to stand up to ideas like a ‘forever war.’ Or tariffs against friend and foe.
This is the important math of the day: Democrats need 218 seats for a majority. Four more needed than their current 214. The latest Cook Report shows Democrats could gain 12-22 House seats.
But you still need the Senate, where Republicans have 53 members and the Dems have 47.
To have control, Dems would need to beat the tie breaker vote cast by VP J.D. Vance. Democrats need to get to 51 and that means four Senate victories on Nov. 3.
Of the key states politicos are watching, North Carolina and Georgia look blue. Can they get two more from toss-up states like Alaska (Mary Peltola?), Maine (Troy Jackson?), or Ohio (Sherrod Brown)? Observers are talking about two races in particular: Texas and Michigan.
In Texas the Talarico/Paxton race is fascinating. State legislator James Talarico is a choir boy compared to Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton—whose rhetoric and record suggest he would be more amoral than Trump.
Then there’s Michigan, where Abdul El-Sayed is running against Mike Rogers.
The Black vote has wavered there, with some high-level Black pols coming out against El-Sayed on Fox News. Trump has also called El-Sayed a “jihadist and a terrorist.”
Born in the U.S., El-Sayed is a highly educated Rhodes Scholar, and a physician. The “model minority” is a terrorist? But like all people of color, he gets othered. Assumptions get made. His skin color and his religion make him a terrorist.
What about local issues like the billionaire tax in California. Prop. 40? I hate direct legislation by propositions because the proposals are usually flawed and can’t be worked out easily—like if legislators actually did their job in the state house.
But taxing billionaires more has to happen on the state and federal level. Prop 40 is a start. Even if it’s one time and goes mostly to health care. It’s a start toward fairness.
Whatever you say. Just vote. Now. Early. Don’t wait.
About the Author
Emil Amok Guillermo is a journalist, commentator and comic monologist. See him on his micro talk show: YouTube.com/@emilamok1
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