Birmingham Times

Jayla Groom Penned Book After Seeing Her Mom’s ‘Wanted’ Mugshot on Crimestoppers

BIRMINGHAM TIMES — Groom, from Hueytown and a rising junior at the University of Alabama (UA), has penned a book about her experiences—“I AM: How to Own Your Truth and Go from Shame to Freedom,” which was published in March 2019. The book is about everything she has been through, including her mother being in and out of prison.

Published

5 years ago

August 1, 2019

Oakland Post

By Ameera Steward

When Jayla Groom went on Facebook last year and saw her mother’s mugshot on Crime Stoppers with a “Wanted” caption she said to herself, “What is going on?”

“I felt like, ‘I can’t take this anymore. I don’t know what to do,” recalled Groom, whose mother has been in and out of jail throughout Groom’s entire life.

“She’ll go for like two years and come home,” said Groom, 20, who is second to the youngest in a family of six children.

Groom, from Hueytown and a rising junior at the University of Alabama (UA), has penned a book about her experiences—“I AM: How to Own Your Truth and Go from Shame to Freedom,” which was published in March 2019. The book is about everything she has been through, including her mother being in and out of prison.

She decided to write it after a woman said to her, “You’re only 20 years old. What have you been through?”

“I was tired of being ashamed, and I was tired of hiding it from people. Groom said. “Most of my friends didn’t even know, and some of them still don’t know because some of them still haven’t read the book. … I was wearing a mask, hiding it, and I just got tired of that.”

The book is about “going from shame to freedom because, now, … [even though] I care that my mom [is] in jail and it does hurt, I’m not ashamed of it anymore. That made me who I am today. It wasn’t my story to tell, but it was part of my story because that is my mom, and my mom is like my best friend.”

Groom said her mom is doing OK and is still in county jail, where she’s been since September 2018.

“We’re still hoping for a good outcome,” said Groom, who added that her mother knows about the book and is proud of her daughter for writing it.

The book doesn’t mention exactly what led to Groom’s mother’s incarceration.

“It was kind of like stuff was still following her, and she couldn’t get away from it,” Groom said. “Once you do something [and] it goes unnoticed for a long time, eventually it’s going to catch up with you. That’s kind of what happened.”

She added that her mother was still struggling with things that were leading her back into the situation.

“I AM: How to Own Your Truth and Go from Shame to Freedom” is autobiographical, Groom said: “From the earliest memory I can recall, when my cousin told me my mom was in jail for the first time, all the way up until now, when that same cousin went to jail for capital murder.”

Freedom from Above

Groom said she was able to face her challenges with “prayer, fasting, and crying out to God.”

“When I told God, ‘I don’t want to go into my 20s in bondage,’ He gave me freedom,” she said. “I honestly can’t tell you [anything] I did [besides] ask God.”

Given all she’s been through, Groom said she had to write her book, which she completed in nine months, during which time she did both her own 21-day fast and a 40-day fast with her church, Oasis of Praise in Bessemer.

“I heard God tell me to tell my story,” she said. “I was telling Him, ‘Please don’t let this go viral, don’t let people start sharing [my mom’s picture on Facebook].’ It was in those moments that it was like, ‘You have an option. They’re going to see it. You can tell your side.’

“I said, ‘OK, I’m not going to get on stage and just go off on a rant about my mom being in jail, so what do you want me to do?’ It was like my eyes were opened and I heard, ‘You need to write a book.’”

Groom didn’t take it seriously at first, she said, “but it was deeper than that. God showed me … as I started writing.”

Loss of a Classmate

Groom said the story doesn’t end badly “because I understand what’s attached to family and what is trying to hinder us.”

“So, now it’s … what God has called me to do—to lead my family out of that because I understand now how the devil is trying to attack us and what he’s trying to place on us.”

Groom said she started by writing just a few titles for chapters, and looking back she has a lot to draw from.

“Going into my senior year [at McAdory High School], I think it was literally the first day of school, one of my classmates passed away,” Groom recalled. “At that moment, … I asked, ‘Why?’ I was messed up about his passing. I just could not understand. He wasn’t even 20 years old, and I couldn’t understand what was going on.

“It was at that point when I decided, ‘OK, it’s time for me to tell my truth because what if I’ve been through something that will help somebody else, something that will prevent them from doing stuff or lead them in a different direction in life?’”

Groom said her classmate, who died in a car accident, “was always happy, always smiling, always late to class. Even in the worst times, he could be getting in trouble, he was still laughing. … That’s why I think I took it so hard. We were in homeroom together every year since the eighth grade. … It just felt like out of all people, why him?”

She felt she needed to write about him because she never had to deal with death.

“For it to be someone I basically grew up with from middle school to high school, stages of your life when you’re becoming who you are, I just never thought it would be him. This wasn’t even the first classmate [of mine] that had passed away, but this one really did something to me.”

“Living My Best Life”

Groom said the book is a coming-of-age story. It includes the times when she would watch soap operas with her nanny, when she was in situations with boys; it addresses issues, such as depression, being suicidal, and her relationship with her father; it recalls her struggle with sex, as well as almost dropping out of school “because it was just too much. I felt like [school] was too much to deal with.”

Groom wants readers to understand that it doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, what you’re going through, what you’ve done, “you can still go from shame to freedom.”

“When people read my book, I want them to understand that those things don’t define you,” she said. “They help you become who you are going to become. … You can still do a complete 180 and be made new and transformed by what you’re going through.”

Since publishing the book, Groom said, “I can live my best life now.”

“I feel free. I don’t feel burdened. I don’t feel ashamed. Of course, those things still come up when people walk up to me and ask, ‘What’s your book about?’ … I feel those moments when I don’t want to open up about everything and people want me to go into detail. Then again, I know I’m called to this, so I open my mouth and tell them.”

Groom owns her truth now.

“It is what it is. This who I am. This is what I’ve been through. Now you can watch me as God takes me to where I’m going. … I’m not where I’m going to be; He’s still showing me and molding me. I’m also not perfect,” she said, adding that she still struggles sometimes.

“I guess people see that I wrote a book and think, ‘OK, Jayla has it all together,’” said Groom. “Jayla still deals with a lot of different things. I still feel alone sometimes. I still feel like depression tries to come on me, but now I just have the power and authority, and I know I don’t have to go through those things. I can just claim me, and I don’t have to be under … whatever is trying to cloud me.”

Using Her Voice

Groom, who is majoring in communications with a psychology minor at UA, wants to use her platform to reach others, so she does motivational speeches in Birmingham churches and at different events.

“Most of the time I get up there and preach the Word of God,” she said. “I take … what’s in scripture and basically apply it to my life to show them this is what God said, this is what happened in my life, this is [how you succeed] if you follow God and live for God.”

Everything Groom talks about, she said, involves God because “I don’t know where I would be without Him.”

“I AM: How to Own Your Truth and Go from Shame to Freedom” is available at Amazon.com (search for the book title). To learn more about Jayla, visit www.jaylamgroom.com.

For more author stories, click one of the links below.

Mother and 7 year old daughter encourage girls to see beauty; not differences

Khalil Saadiq wrote book that he says “will read you”

Neena Speer’s first year in law school made her better attorney — and an author

This article originally appeared in The Birmingham Times.

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Q&A With Kenneth Boswell, chair of Alabama Counts 2020 Committee

BIRMINGHAM TIMES — The great thing about the 2020 Census is that it has never been easier to respond on your own, whether online, over the phone or by mail—all without having to meet a census taker. Notification letters from the Census Bureau to Alabama households began going out on March 12 and are continuing until March 20. There are three ways to respond: online at www.my2020census.gov, by phone at 1-844-330-2020 or by paper form.

Published

4 years ago

March 26, 2020

Oakland Post

Kenneth Boswell, director of the Alabama Department of Economic and Community Affairs and chair of the Alabama Counts 2020 committee. (Provided Photo)

Compiled by Erica Wright, The Birmingham Times

Kenneth Boswell, director of the Alabama Department of Economic and Community Affairs, is chair of the Alabama Counts 2020 committee. He responded to these questions from The Birmingham Times.

BT: What impact does the recent coronavirus pandemic have on the Census efforts in Alabama?

Kenneth Boswell: The great thing about the 2020 Census is that it has never been easier to respond on your own, whether online, over the phone or by mail—all without having to meet a census taker. Notification letters from the Census Bureau to Alabama households began going out on March 12 and are continuing until March 20. There are three ways to respond: online at www.my2020census.gov, by phone at 1-844-330-2020 or by paper form.

We are keeping in contact with the U.S. Census Bureau and know that they are monitoring the situation very closely. We anticipate any changes would likely be to the in-person follow-up by census workers to households who do not complete their census by April 30. Right now, that portion is scheduled to begin in May.

BT: How does the state plan to proceed with the Census in light of the pandemic?

Boswell: The census is something that is quick and easy to complete at home, so that is our main message right now. We have a statewide awareness campaign that includes TV, newspaper, radio, social media, billboard and digital messages. Some census-related events scheduled for the next couple weeks have been postponed, but we are adjusting accordingly and will continue to do everything we can to encourage all in Alabama to take their census.

BT: What’s the significance of the April 1, 2020 deadline with the Census?

Boswell: April 1 is simply what the Census Bureau calls Census Day. It is a symbolic day designed to encourage all who live in the United States to self-respond to their Census form. Right now, we are encouraging participation as soon as the invitation letters are received and by April 30 which is the designated self-response period before the Census Bureau follows up in person with those households who have not yet responded.

BT: How much does the state stand to lose in funding if there is an under count or drop in Census numbers? What are some of the programs that will be affected if that money is lost?

Boswell: Alabama receives about $13 billion in census-derived funding per year for important programs that support Alabama’s healthcare, schools, infrastructure and community services.

Here is a link to a study by George Washington University that details 55 federal programs linked to census data and their impact on Alabama: https://census.alabama.gov/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/IPP-1819-3-CountingforDollars_AL.pdf

BT: Is there a certain percentage for example, 70-90 percent that the state has a goal to reach for the Census count?

Boswell: We are asking for maximum participation as close to 100 percent as possible. We must do better than the 72 percent participation rate that Alabama recorded in 2010.

BT: If this is an under count, how many seats, statewide and on a federal level does Alabama stand to lose and what will that mean for residents?

Boswell: Many projections have the state at-risk of losing a congressional seat if we perform at the same level as we did in 2010. The impact of that lost seat will mean one less voice to advocate for the state’s needs at the federal level. For example, Congress is currently discussing a package of stimulus/recovery dollars to lessen the impact of the Coronavirus on the economy. The more representation that the state has during these discussions and decisions, the better our voice will be heard and the better the likelihood that we will receive our fair share of federal dollars to benefit Alabamians.

There would be no change in the number of state legislators. However, the data collected during the census is used by the legislature for redistricting purposes.

BT: How is the importance of the Census spread to communities that have been historically undercounted? What strategies are in place to make sure those areas are fully included?

Boswell: Those areas and communities are very important to the success of the 2020 Census and we all benefit from maximum participation. So, we are focusing on the impact that a successful count would have on our state and those communities. We have been working to identify those partners for these communities as part of our grassroots campaign. In December, Governor Ivey awarded $1 million in grants to 34 statewide, regional and local groups to support grassroots census efforts, with many targeted toward harder-to-count groups and areas, including Alabama’s Black Belt, Hispanic immigrants, people with disabilities, children under age 5 and college students.

We have also developed an online tool kit of awareness and promotional items that can be used by any group or individual to help increase awareness of the 2020 Census and its importance to Alabama at www.alabama2020census.com.

BT: How long do people have to fill out their Census? How long does it take to gather all of the Census information and get it to the federal government?

Boswell: We are asking everyone to self-respond by taking the census as soon as they receive their letter from the Census Bureau and definitely by April 30. Right now, the census workers will begin following up in-person with households who have not completed the census starting in May and continuing through July.

The census only takes about six minutes to complete. There are 10 very basic questions – name, date of birth, sex, race, whether you own or rent the residence, phone number and similar information about others living or staying in your household. You typically submit more information when responding to a special offer online.

The data is secure and protected by strict federal law. Nothing you submit can be shared or used against you by any agency.

BT: How or when will the state know the results of the Census?

Boswell: The deadline for the census results to be submitted to the president is December 31, 2020. The Census Bureau will publicly release the final results around March 2021.

This article originally appeared in The Birmingham Times.

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Help keep flu out of the classroom and protect your family from illness

THE BIRMINGHAM TIMES — Parents can do their part to help keep germs out of the classroom. Jennifer Ponder, Ph.D., chair of the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Education Department of Curriculum and Instruction, suggests parents send hand sanitizer, paper towels, tissues and disinfectants to help keep the classroom clean. When a child is running a fever, coughing or sneezing excessively, lethargic, or showing other symptoms of the flu, keep them home. If symptoms persist, call your pediatrician.

Published

4 years ago

January 13, 2020

Oakland Post

Keeping flu at bay is difficult when kids are in school. Encourage your children to wash their hands frequently, and to avoid touching their nose, mouth and eyes to prevent the spread of germs. These practices can help keep your entire family well throughout the flu season. (Photo: iStockphoto / NNPA)

By Alicia Rohan, UAB News

School classrooms are a breeding ground for bacteria and germs. Teaching children about the flu and other contagious diseases starts at home but should continue at school as well.

“Children are very observant and hear about the flu in conversation, on the radio and on the television,” said Jennifer Ponder, Ph.D., chair of the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Education Department of Curriculum and Instruction. “It is important that caretakers and educators continue those conversations to create healthy hygiene habits in children. In order to succeed in the classroom, a child needs to be healthy and present, so starting good hygiene early on will increase their chances of success.”

Ponder suggests that educators create a classroom environment where children are in charge of taking care of their space. This includes teaching cleanliness and strategies to disinfect spaces and protect germs from spreading, such as using a disinfecting wipe to clean all desks and surfaces on a daily basis.

“There are resources for educators to help teach kids about proper hygiene,” Ponder said. “Finding ways to incorporate hygiene and the flu into your lesson plan makes learning fun and will resonate with younger children more.”

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a resource for educators to incorporate hygiene and the flu into their curriculum, “Teaching Children About the Flu.” Activities include:

Sing “If You Are Happy and You Know It, Scrub Your Hands” while washing your hands to ensure that students wash for the appropriate amount of time.
Model how to wash your hands with the appropriate amount of soap.
Cough or sneeze in their elbow/sleeve if tissues are not available.
Simulate how germs spread by using a drop of unscented lotion and a pinch of glitter. Make a fist with glitter in it, then open the hand to show how glitter spreads. The teacher touches another child’s hand to show how the glitter spreads easily. Use a paper towel to wipe off the glitter. The glitter is hard to get off, showing how easily germs spread from person to person.

Parents can do their part to help keep germs out of the classroom. Ponder suggests parents send hand sanitizer, paper towels, tissues and disinfectants to help keep the classroom clean. When a child is running a fever, coughing or sneezing excessively, lethargic, or showing other symptoms of the flu, keep them home. If symptoms persist, call your pediatrician.

“Parents should be talking to children about the flu and flu symptoms,” Ponder said. “Reiterate what they are hearing at school, on TV and from their friends. Use these opportunities to talk about germs, proper handwashing and keeping your home clean.”

This article originally appeared in The Birmingham Times.

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‘There are three people in your marriage… you, your partner and God’

THE BIRMINGHAM TIMES — I was a freshman and Shamar was a junior…as the night went on I was at the bar fixing my food and he came over and introduced himself. We conversed all night, we had amazing conversation and that night God literally told me that he was my husband and that kind of freaked me out because at the time I wasn’t hearing from God audibly. We ended up exchanging numbers but he never called.

Published

4 years ago

November 29, 2019

Oakland Post

NADIA AND SHAMAR GRAMBY

By Je’Don Holloway-Talley, Special to The Birmingham Times

“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Erica Wright ewright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.

NADIA AND SHAMAR GRAMBY

Live: Chelsea

Married: July 14, 2012

Met: In Huntsville in the fall of 2003 at a fellow Alabama Agricultural and Mechanical University [A&M] student’s apartment. Nadia’s friend and Shamar’s frat brother were throwing a social gathering and Shamar was one of the hosts.

“I was a freshman and Shamar was a junior…as the night went on I was at the bar fixing my food and he came over and introduced himself,” Nadia recalled. “We conversed all night, we had amazing conversation and that night God literally told me that he was my husband and that kind of freaked me out because at the time I wasn’t hearing from God audibly. … We ended up exchanging numbers but he never called.”

Shamar recalled that Nadia stood out. “I saw this beautiful young lady sitting there… I saw her communicating with everybody and she seemed fun and outgoing and it’s like God was telling me there was something about her that I needed to find out . . . we ended up having a real deep conversation which is odd for those kinds of parties. We talked about our goals, and faith…we had a lot in common and had a lot of the same things that we wanted out of life.”

First date: The pair went to see a movie that they cannot recall and afterward had a candlelit dinner at Shamar’s apartment. They ate steak, potatoes and green beans. Nadia recalled being very impressed. Shamar said he couldn’t recall the movie but did remember he cooked a full course meal and had some candles flickering. “I wanted to make sure she knew that I thought she was unique and special and that she deserved a certain level of effort and care.

Nadia said she couldn’t focus on the movie because “I was jittery and nervous the whole time. When Shamar picked me up from my dorm room he had flowers for me…he was playing R&B in the car, he was such a gentleman and opened all the doors for me… when we got done with the movie he said, ‘I’m going to cook you dinner and I got to watch him make it.”

Nadia said they shared a kiss at the end of the night. “I really wanted to kiss him and I knew he wanted to kiss me, but he was so respectful that I knew he would have never made the move to kiss me first, so I gave him the three-second start, I leaned in [first].

“I took it from there,” Shamar said.

The turn: Nadia and Shamar dated throughout their collegiate careers and had a son in September 2007. They didn’t want to get married early on “just for the look of it,” Nadia said. “We didn’t want to get married just because we had a baby, we wanted to be ready and marry because we were still in love.”

After dating for seven years they began talking in 2010 about marriage.

The proposal: On a couple’s trip in 2011 in Las Vegas, Nevada at the Venetian Hotel on a gondola ride.

“I chose the Venetian [hotel] because I had previously been to Italy and I wanted to take her one day so I thought it would be the perfect place…I chose a special song for the guy [paddling the boat] to sing to her in the Italian language and when we got to [the arching bridge] I had the guy pause there and I told her how much she meant to me and how I could not live without her in my life and that I would be honored if she would be my wife. I took the ring out and she said ‘yes.’

“I was surprised because we had been [on many adventures] during the trip and we were so casual, I could not believe he was proposing to me while I had on jeans and a tee-shirt,” Nadia laughed, “…when the man started singing in Italian and he [Shamar] started going in his pocket I was like this is really happening today!…it brought me back to the day I heard the voice of God and His promise was really about to manifest.”

The wedding: At the Museum of Art in Huntsville, officiated by Pastor Windell Davis of Union Chapel Church in Huntsville. Their colors were tiffany-blue, mocha and white.

Most memorable for the groom was Nadia’s walk down the aisle. “The band ‘Remedy’ (A&M students) was playing live and my cousin Sheena was singing [the band’s song] ‘You’ as she came down the aisle… Her essence and her beauty, and all of our memories came to a head, our child, I just broke down right then and there. Somebody had to pass me a handkerchief,” Shamar laughed.

Most memorable for the bride was “when we did the unity sand together after we did communion as a family,” Nadia said. “Instead of union candles, we did sand, so Shamar and I, and our son Khalil all had our own sand that we poured in a glass together and for me, that was really special for our family to be under the covenant of God in our relationship.”

Words of wisdom: “Always put God first, put Him as the head of your life,” Shamar said. Next, be loyal to each other and have each other’s back. It may not always be 50-50, but be willing to pick up where the other left off. Always encourage each other. Always keep in mind the reasons why you married that person and be willing to talk and look at their perspective in life because people change. Be an open book, whether it’s good or bad.

Nadia said, “you must remember that there are three people in your marriage: you, your partner and God. If you remember that and keep Him in the middle of your marriage, you’re more likely to have a successful [union]. Also] knowing that I can trust my husband… I can trust him with my heart and I can trust him with who I am at the core of who I am, and because I can trust him I can communicate… I can be honest, I can tell him how I really feel because I know that he will honor me and take care of me as his wife….

Happily ever after: The Gramby’s have one child, son Khalil, 12, and enjoy helping to build other couples as board members of the marriage ministry at their church More than Conquerors in West End.

Nadia, 34, is a Daphne, Ala. native and graduated from Daphne High School. She attended Alabama A&M where she studied psychology and earned a B.S. in Human Resource Management from Faulkner University (Hunstville campus). She is a birth and post partum doula and owns her own company ‘Crown of Glory Birth Services’ and is also an [online] student midwife at The National College of midwifery (in New Mexico).

Shamar, 37, is a Columbus, OH native, and graduated from Reynoldsburg High School. He attended Alabama A&M, where he earned a B.S. in mechanical engineering. He is an accounts service rep in sales and marketing for Viva Health.

This article originally appeared in The Birmingham Times.