Connect with us

Activism

Healing Domestic Violence: “It Has to Be Heart Stuff’

As Wilhelmenia “Mina” Wilson grew older, she went through her own traumatic experiences. As a young woman, she, too, became a victim to domestic violence. “The only way I was able to save myself was to remove myself. And not only did I leave the environment, but he knew where I worked. I left my job. I left and created a new life for myself,” she said. “And in removing myself, what I had to do also was stay by myself until I could heal myself. And that took some years.”

Published

on

By Charlene Muhammad, Special to the Oakland Post

Wilhelmenia “Mina” Wilson, executive director of Healthy Black Families, Inc., in Berkeley grew up in a nuclear family in the Bay Area.

Her parents met in college and were each other’s first love. Still, there was trauma.

As Wilson grew older, she went through her own traumatic experiences. As a young woman, she, too, became a victim to domestic violence.

“The only way I was able to save myself was to remove myself. And not only did I leave the environment, but he knew where I worked. I left my job. I left and created a new life for myself,” she said. “And in removing myself, what I had to do also was stay by myself until I could heal myself. And that took some years.”

To overcome her trauma, Wilson employed some of the techniques she now shares with others as the executive director of Healthy Black Families, Inc.

“I had to learn myself. I had to unpack my trauma. I had to learn to love myself again. And then that allowed me to navigate relationships in a different way,” she said. “So, I’m not really talking from what I think. I’m really talking from what I know, from my own personal experience, and I’d love to try this and see if it works successfully at a macro level as it did for me on a micro one.”

In an interview with Post News Group, Wilson provided her views on the root causes of domestic violence and proposed several viable solutions.

“When you subject people to a lack of human dignity, when people don’t have their basic needs met, that begets a lot of different types of negative behaviors,” she said.

She attributed the causes of domestic violence to how the capitalist system sometimes devalues Black people, and Black women in particular — both of which, from her view, are rooted in slavery. Black women were a commodity, and Black men were vulnerable because they could not protect Black women and were slaughtered when they attempted to, she said.

Fast-forward to 2022 and the “same type of socioeconomic structure exists today as it did then. Black poverty is high. Black unemployment is high. Black folks still are fewer as far as home ownership,” she added.

With that month-to-month struggle for sustenance paired with the lack of options to support people’s needs, “people tend to implode upon each other,” Wilson said.

She said when she thinks about solutions to domestic violence, she thinks about how to detach from the system that wants to manipulate and capitalize on Black people, how to gain deeper knowledge of self and how to create new pathways of life and livelihood.

Some solutions she offered included: tackling poverty and the socioeconomic structure by creating an economy within the Black community and ‘buying Black;’ supporting underfunded grassroots organizations that are grounded in the community; establishing programs and vocational training for children and the community; engaging in agriculture and urban farming; and building infrastructure and offering support services.

Related to the solution on economics, she said Black people must learn to “leverage our allies in support of our goals,” even if those allies aren’t Black. She explained that others could and are willing to give resources, but she is an advocate for Black people setting their own agenda.

Wilson especially noted the importance of mastering self, bringing up Biblical figures like Jesus as examples.

“They had done self-mastery, and they had learned universal law. And they knew how to walk in the world so they could be creative energies,” she said.

She recalled a course she took offered by Dr. Ishmael Tetteh, a spiritual teacher from Ghana, on “soul processing.” Students were asked to make a timeline of their entire lives. Tetteh labeled the painful parts of their lives as “cud,” which is partially digested food that a cow continues to chew on.

“Those painful experiences are like cud in our spirit, and we continue to chew on them. And, he said, the goal of this life/soul processing is to break apart those cud patches and then redefine them in a way that serves you,” Wilson said.

She said as Black people in America, “all of us have trauma” that needs to be unpacked.

Another solution she proposed was creating spaces that are culturally authentic where Black people can heal together. But she said the first step is unpacking the pain that fuels the violence.

“Oftentimes that means you have to move people away from each other so that they can do their own healing,” she said, because “it’s hard to heal with people who have harmed you.”

Necessary infrastructure to her means access to safe houses and community-based intervention.

“If it’s a mom and kids, where do we put them while we work out the situation? And with the man who’s doing it, how do we get them into a situation where they can do some anger management rather than criminalize everything?” she questioned.

When Wilson experienced domestic violence, a woman she had been close to helped her out.

“She talked to me, and she was the person who made space for my healing. She let me stay with her for a while. And so, fast-forward, years go by, I get my act together. And I think about her, and I go back to her and I’m like, ‘I don’t know how to thank you for what you did for me,’” Wilson recalled.

“And she was like, ‘Girl, what you don’t get is that it’s not even about me.’ She’s like, ‘The only reason that I am here to do this for you is because there was some woman who did it for me.’ And she said, ‘So you don’t owe me anything.’” She said, “‘What you owe is you got to step up and do it for someone else when you see a need.’”

Wilson says she lives her life trying to hold true to that advice.

“And I think we have to proceed with that kind of heart in order to really heal people. It can’t just be tactical stuff. It has to be human stuff. It has to be heart stuff,” she said.

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

#NNPA BlackPress

COMMENTARY: The National Protest Must Be Accompanied with Our Votes

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

Published

on

Dr. John E. Warren Publisher, San Diego Voice & Viewpoint
Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper. File photo..

By  Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper

As thousands of Americans march every week in cities across this great nation, it must be remembered that the protest without the vote is of no concern to Donald Trump and his administration.

In every city, there is a personal connection to the U.S. Congress. In too many cases, the member of Congress representing the people of that city and the congressional district in which it sits, is a Republican. It is the Republicans who are giving silent support to the destructive actions of those persons like the U.S. Attorney General, the Director of Homeland Security, and the National Intelligence Director, who are carrying out the revenge campaign of the President rather than upholding the oath of office each of them took “to Defend The Constitution of the United States.”

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

In California, the primary comes in June 2026. The congressional races must be a priority just as much as the local election of people has been so important in keeping ICE from acquiring facilities to build more prisons around the country.

“We the People” are winning this battle, even though it might not look like it. Each of us must get involved now, right where we are.

In this Black History month, it is important to remember that all we have accomplished in this nation has been “in spite of” and not “because of.” Frederick Douglas said, “Power concedes nothing without a struggle.”

Today, the struggle is to maintain our very institutions and history. Our strength in this struggle rests in our “collectiveness.” Our newspapers and journalists are at the greatest risk. We must not personally add to the attack by ignoring those who have been our very foundation, our Black press.

Are you spending your dollars this Black History Month with those who salute and honor contributions by supporting those who tell our stories? Remember that silence is the same as consent and support for the opposition. Where do you stand and where will your dollars go?

Continue Reading

Activism

Congresswoman Simon Votes Against Department of Homeland Security, ICE Funding

“They need accountability. Republicans already gave these agencies an unprecedented $170 billion for immigration enforcement, funding they have used to conduct raids at schools, separate families, and deploy a masked paramilitary who refuse to identify themselves on American streets. This bill gives them more funding without a single reform to stop unconstitutional, immoral abuses,” she said.

Published

on

Congresswoman Lateefah Simon (D-CA-12). File photo.
Congresswoman Lateefah Simon (D-CA-12). File photo.

By Post Staff

Congresswoman Lateefah Simon (D-CA-12) released a statement after voting against legislation to fund the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which supports Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CPB).

“Today, I voted NO on legislation to fund the Department of Homeland Security through Feb. 13, 2026.

“ICE and CBP do not need more funding to terrorize communities or kill more people,” she said in the media release.

They need accountability. Republicans already gave these agencies an unprecedented $170 billion for immigration enforcement, funding they have used to conduct raids at schools, separate families, and deploy a masked paramilitary who refuse to identify themselves on American streets. This bill gives them more funding without a single reform to stop unconstitutional, immoral abuses,” she said.

“The American people are demanding change. Poll after poll of Americans’ opinions show overwhelming support for requiring ICE agents to wear body cameras and prohibiting them from hiding their faces during enforcement actions. This is the bare minimum transparency standard, and this funding legislation does not even meet this low bar,” Simon said.

“Republicans in Congress are not serious about reining in these lawless agencies. Their refusal to make meaningful changes to the DHS funding bill has consequences that go beyond immigration enforcement. TSA agents who keep our airports safe and FEMA workers who help our communities recover from disasters are stuck in limbo due to Republican inaction.

“The Constitution does not have an exception for immigrants. Every person on American soil has rights, and federal agencies must respect them. The East Bay has made clear at the Alameda County and city level that we will hold the line against a violent ICE force and support our immigrant communities – I will continue to hold the line and our values with my votes in Congress.”

Continue Reading

Activism

Post Newspaper Invites NNPA to Join Nationwide Probate Reform Initiative

The Post’s Probate Reform Group meets the first Thursday of every month via Zoom and invites the public to attend.  The Post is making the initiative national and will submit information from its monthly meeting to the NNPA to educate, advocate, and inform its readers.

Published

on

iStock.
iStock.

By Tanya Dennis

The National Newspaper Publishers Association (NNPA) represents the Black press with over 200 newspapers nationwide.

Last night the Post announced that it is actively recruiting the Black press to inform the public that there is a probate “five-alarm fire” occurring in Black communities and invited every Black newspaper starting from the Birmingham Times in Alabama to the Milwaukee Times Weekly in Wisconsin, to join the Post in our “Year of Action” for probate reform.

The Post’s Probate Reform Group meets the first Thursday of every month via Zoom and invites the public to attend.  The Post is making the initiative national and will submit information from its monthly meeting to the NNPA to educate, advocate, and inform its readers.

Reporter Tanya Dennis says, “The adage that ‘When America catches a cold, Black folks catch the flu” is too true in practice; that’s why we’re engaging the Black Press to not only warn, but educate the Black community regarding the criminal actions we see in probate court: Thousands are losing generational wealth to strangers. It’s a travesty that happens daily.”

Venus Gist, a co-host of the reform group, states, “ Unfortunately, people are their own worst enemy when it comes to speaking with loved ones regarding their demise. It’s an uncomfortable subject that most avoid, but they do so at their peril. The courts rely on dissention between family members, so I encourage not only a will and trust [be created] but also videotape the reading of your documents so you can show you’re of sound mind.”

In better times, drafting a will was enough; then a trust was an added requirement to ‘iron-clad’ documents and to assure easy transference of wealth.

No longer.

As the courts became underfunded in the last 20 years, predatory behavior emerged to the extent that criminality is now occurring at alarming rates with no oversight, with courts isolating the conserved, and, I’ve  heard, many times killing conservatees for profit. Plundering the assets of estates until beneficiaries are penniless is also common.”

Post Newspaper Publisher Paul Cobb says, “The simple solution is to avoid probate at all costs.  If beneficiaries can’t agree, hire a private mediator and attorney to work things out.  The moment you walk into court, you are vulnerable to the whims of the court.  Your will and trust mean nothing.”

Zakiya Jendayi, a co-host of the Probate Reform Group and a victim herself, says, “In my case, the will and trust were clear that I am the beneficiary of the estate, but the opposing attorney said I used undue influence to make myself beneficiary. He said that without proof, and the judge upheld the attorney’s baseless assertion.  In court, the will and trust is easily discounted.”

The Black press reaches out to 47 million Black Americans with one voice.  The power of the press has never been so important as it is now in this national movement to save Black generational wealth from predatory attorneys, guardians and judges.

The next probate reform meeting is on March 5, from 7 – 9 p.m. PST.  Zoom Details:
Meeting ID: 825 0367 1750
Passcode: 475480

All are welcome.

Continue Reading

Subscribe to receive news and updates from the Oakland Post

* indicates required

CHECK OUT THE LATEST ISSUE OF THE OAKLAND POST

ADVERTISEMENT

WORK FROM HOME

Home-based business with potential monthly income of $10K+ per month. A proven training system and website provided to maximize business effectiveness. Perfect job to earn side and primary income. Contact Lynne for more details: Lynne4npusa@gmail.com 800-334-0540

Facebook

Dr. John E. Warren Publisher, San Diego Voice & Viewpoint
#NNPA BlackPress2 days ago

COMMENTARY: The National Protest Must Be Accompanied with Our Votes

Congresswoman Lateefah Simon (D-CA-12). File photo.
Activism2 days ago

Congresswoman Simon Votes Against Department of Homeland Security, ICE Funding

iStock.
Activism2 days ago

Post Newspaper Invites NNPA to Join Nationwide Probate Reform Initiative

The Turner Construction group members.
Activism2 days ago

Community Celebrates Turner Group Construction Company as Collins Drive Becomes Turner Group Drive

BART train. Photo courtesy of ABC7.
Activism2 days ago

New Bill, the RIDER Safety Act, Would Support Transit Ambassadors and Safety on Public Transit

iStock.
Bo Tefu2 days ago

Trump’s White House Pushes to Control California Wildfire Recovery

iStock.
Bo Tefu2 days ago

Gov. Newsom, AG Bonta to Local Law Enforcement: You Have Authority to Investigate Federal Agents

Dorothy Lee Bolden. File photo.
Activism2 days ago

Dorothy Lee Bolden: Uniting Domestic Workers

iStock.
Activism2 days ago

Cracking Down on Human Trafficking, California DOJ Announces 120 Arrests

Sen. Akilah Weber Pierson, M.D (D-San Diego). File photo. Sen. Akilah Weber Pierson, M.D (D-San Diego). File photo.
Activism2 days ago

COMMENTARY: The Biases We Don’t See — Preventing AI-Driven Inequality in Health Care

Assemblymember Lori Wilson (D-Suisun City is the author of AB 1421. File photo.
Business2 days ago

California Launches Study on Mileage Tax to Potentially Replace Gas Tax as Republicans Push Back

Photo of Black History Month book covers by Terri Schlichenmeyer.
Arts and Culture2 days ago

Book Review: Books on Black History and Black Life for Kids

Sen. Laura Richardson (D San Pedro) spoke on behalf of the California Legislative Black Caucus at a Jan. 26 news conference condemning the fatal shooting of Minneapolis nurse Alex Pretti and other civilians by federal immigration agents, including U.S. Customs and Border Protection and ICE, in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Screenshot)
Activism2 days ago

Black Caucus Members Join Legislative Democrats to Condemn Fatal Shootings by Federal Agents

iStock.
Activism3 days ago

As California Hits Aging Milestone, State Releases Its Fifth Master Plan for Aging

Don Lemon. Shutterstock.
Activism3 days ago

After Don Lemon’s Arrest, Black Officials Raise Concerns About Independent Black Media

Trending

Copyright ©2021 Post News Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved.