By Terri Schlichenmeyer

 Author: Arshay Cooper, Copyright: c.2025, Publisher: HarperOne, SRP: $26.00, Page Count: 40 Pages

The hole you’re in is a deep one.

You can see the clouds above, and they look like a storm; you sense the wind, and it’s cold. It’s dark down there, and lonesome, too. You feel like you were born there — but how do you get out of the deep hole you’re in? You read the new book “Let Me Be Real With You” by Arshay Cooper. You find a hand-up and bring someone with you.

In the months after his first book was published, Cooper received a lot of requests to speak to youth about his life growing up on the West Side of Chicago, his struggles, and his many accomplishments. He was poor, bullied, and belittled, but he knew that if he could escape those things, he would succeed. He focused on doing what was best, and right. He looked for mentors and strove to understand when opportunities presented themselves.

Still, his early life left him with trauma. Here, he shows how it’s overcome-able.

We must always have hope, Cooper says, but hope is “merely the catalyst for action. The hope we receive must transform into the hope we give.”

Learn to tell your own story, as honestly as you know it. Be open to suggestions, and don’t dismiss them without great thought. Know that masculinity doesn’t equal stoicism; we are hard-wired to need other people, and sharing “pain and relatability can dissipate shame and foster empathy in powerful ways.”

Remember that trauma is intergenerational, and it can be passed down from parent to child. Let your mentors see your potential. Get therapy, if you need it; there’s no shame in it, and it will help, if you learn to trust it. Enjoy the outdoors when you can. Learn self-control. Give back to your community. Respect your financial wellness. Embrace your intelligence. Pick your friends and relationships wisely. “Do it afraid.”

And finally, remember that “You were born to soar to great heights and rule the sky.”

You just needed someone to tell you that.

At first look, this book might seem like just any other self-help offering. It’s inspirational for casual reader and business reader, both, just like most books in this genre. Dig a little deeper, though, and you’ll spot what makes “Let Me Be Real With You” stand out.

With a willingness to discuss the struggles he tackled in the past, Cooper writes with a solidly honest voice that’s exceptionally believable, and not one bit dramatic. You won’t find unnecessarily embellished stories or tall tales here, either; Cooper instead uses his real experiences to help readers understand that there are few things that are truly insurmountable. He then explains how one’s past can shape one’s future, and how today’s actions can change the future of the world.

“Let Me Be Real With You” is full of motivation, and instruction that’s do-able for adults and teens. If you need that, or if you’ve vowed to do better this coming year, it might help make you whole.

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Special to the Post

For more than 25 years, Desmond Gumbs has been a cornerstone of Bay Area education and athletics — not simply as a coach, but as a mentor, founder, and architect of opportunity. While recent media narratives have focused narrowly on challenges, they fail to capture the far more important truth: Gumbs’ life’s work has been dedicated to building pathways to college, character, and long-term success for hundreds of young people.

A Career Defined by Impact

Gumbs’ coaching and leadership journey spans from Bishop O’Dowd High School, Oakland High School, Stellar Prep High School. Over the decades, hundreds of his students have gone on to college, earning academic and athletic scholarships and developing life skills that extend well beyond sports.

One of his most enduring contributions is his role as founder of Stellar Prep High School, a non-traditional, mission-driven institution created to serve students who needed additional structure, belief, and opportunity. Through Stellar Prep numerous students have advanced to college — many with scholarships — demonstrating Gumbs’ deep commitment to education as the foundation for athletic and personal success.

NCAA football history was made this year when Head Coach from
Mississippi Valley State, Terrell Buckley and Head Coach Desmond
Gumbs both had starting kickers that were women. This picture was
taken after the game.

A Personal Testament to the Mission: Addison Gumbs

Perhaps no example better reflects Desmond Gumbs’ philosophy than the journey of his son, Addison Gumbs. Addison became an Army All-American, one of the highest honors in high school football — and notably, the last Army All-Americans produced by the Bay Area, alongside Najee Harris.

Both young men went on to compete at the highest levels of college football — Addison Gumbs at the University of Oklahoma, and Najee Harris at the University of Alabama — representing the Bay Area on a national level.

Building Lincoln University Athletics From the Ground Up

In 2021, Gumbs accepted one of the most difficult challenges in college athletics: launching an entire athletics department at Lincoln University in Oakland from scratch. With no established infrastructure, limited facilities, and eventually the loss of key financial aid resources, he nonetheless built opportunities where none existed.

Under his leadership, Lincoln University introduced:

• Football
• Men’s and Women’s Basketball
• Men’s and Women’s Soccer

Operating as an independent program with no capital and no conference safety net, Gumbs was forced to innovate — finding ways to sustain teams, schedule competition, and keep student-athletes enrolled and progressing toward degrees. The work was never about comfort; it was about access.

Voices That Reflect His Impact

Desmond Gumbs’ philosophy has been consistently reflected in his own published words:

• “if you have an idea, you’re 75% there the remaining 25% is actually doing it.”
• “This generation doesn’t respect the title — they respect the person.”
• “Greatness is a habit, not a moment.”

Former players and community members have echoed similar sentiments in public commentary, crediting Gumbs with teaching them leadership, accountability, confidence, and belief in themselves — lessons that outlast any single season.

Context Matters More Than Headlines

Recent articles critical of Lincoln University athletics focus on logistical and financial hardships while ignoring the reality of building a new program with limited resources in one of the most expensive regions in the country. Such narratives are ultimately harmful and incomplete, failing to recognize the courage it takes to create opportunity instead of walking away when conditions are difficult.

The real story is not about early struggles — it is about vision, resilience, and service.

A Legacy That Endures

From founding Stellar PREP High School, to sending hundreds of students to college, to producing elite athletes like Addison Gumbs, to launching Lincoln University athletics, Desmond Gumbs’ legacy is one of belief in young people and relentless commitment to opportunity.

His work cannot be reduced to headlines or records. It lives on in degrees earned, scholarships secured, leaders developed, and futures changed — across the Bay Area and beyond.

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