Op-Ed
Ask Alma
A Tough Call
Dear Alma,
I’m friends with my next door neighbor. She’s not my BFF, but we hang from time to time. Her husband is in the military and she doesn’t have family in the area. She and I have a lot in common — we’re around the same age and like the same things. She has a son, and I have a daughter. The kids both go to the same high school. Yesterday my neighbor stopped by to tell me they are moving. Her husband has been transferred to another state. She asked me if I would let her 17-year-old son live with us while he finished his last year of school here in our town. She said they would pay room and board for him. I’m not married, and I’m not sure how it would be with a teen boy in my house. What do you think?
Name withheld
Good googalie woogalie, my Mama use to say. That’s a whole lot of turkey, greens, potatoes and gravy served up on your fine china. Hmmm, let’s ponder, should you try to eat all of it, fork-full by spoon-full or just push yourself away from the table without a bite? Listen to your stomach. Do you have an appetite for this?
Yes, it’s a risky situation, we both would agree. I don’t know this young man, and since you didn’t speak of his personality or character, this leaves me to assume. I’m going with a positive approach, concluding he’s a pretty good kid.
Here’s what I’d suggest, make a list. Yep, write down the pros and cons of this possible yearlong endeavor. Identify every thought that comes to mind — what you expect and what scares you the most. I’d say work on this for more than a couple of days. You need to be prayerfully on your knees for at least a week.
You also have to consider your daughter. This would be life-changing for her as well. All three adults need to sit down at the table hashing out the good, bad and the ugly.
Thoroughly examine what room and board will cover. Obviously rent and utilities, but what about food? Boys his age can eat you out of house and home. This I know for sure. Will he stay with you during the week and go home on the weekends? What about extracurricular activities? Are you responsible for getting him there, or does he have a car? Does he have a girlfriend? Are you friends with him, or does he see you as an authoritative adult? Like I said, we’re talking a full plate here. It could be a sacrifice and or a blessing to all involved.
Taking in this teen doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s only temporary, and he has parents. Many teens who were taken in by outside adults have gone on to do great things. One example is Michael Oher, the professional football player whose story inspired the movie “The Blind Side.” Remember? He was cared for by a family so he could finish high school. If you like this young man and wouldn’t mind him living in your home, tell his parents you’re willing to give it a try for the first semester — that’s three months. If things seem to work out, commit to the next semester. That way, he knows he has to follow the rules and live up to your and his parents’ expectations. This is a huge responsibility, and the answer to the question of “will this work” is up to him.
I salute you, single mama. You must be holding it down. Otherwise, his parents wouldn’t have asked. In the same vein, you are not obligated. If you don’t want to, don’t do it, and don’t feel badly about it. Tell his parents it just wouldn’t work for you and your daughter right now. Best wishes and blessings to you while you pray on your decision, whatever you decide is the right thing to do.
Alma
Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and twitter @almaaskalma.
###
Activism
OP-ED: AB 1349 Puts Corporate Power Over Community
Since Ticketmaster and Live Nation merged in 2010, ticket prices have jumped more than 150 percent. Activities that once fit a family’s budget now take significant disposable income that most working families simply don’t have. The problem is compounded by a system that has tilted access toward the wealthy and white-collar workers. If you have a fancy credit card, you get “presale access,” and if you work in an office instead of a warehouse, you might be able to wait in an online queue to buy a ticket. Access now means privilege.
By Bishop Joseph Simmons, Senior Pastor, Greater St. Paul Baptist Church, Oakland
As a pastor, I believe in the power that a sense of community can have on improving people’s lives. Live events are one of the few places where people from different backgrounds and ages can share the same space and experience – where construction workers sit next to lawyers at a concert, and teenagers enjoy a basketball game with their grandparents. Yet, over the past decade, I’ve witnessed these experiences – the concerts, games, and cultural events where we gather – become increasingly unaffordable, and it is a shame.
These moments of connection matter as they form part of the fabric that holds communities together. But that fabric is fraying because of Ticketmaster/Live Nation’s unchecked control over access to live events. Unfortunately, AB 1349 would only further entrench their corporate power over our spaces.
Since Ticketmaster and Live Nation merged in 2010, ticket prices have jumped more than 150 percent. Activities that once fit a family’s budget now take significant disposable income that most working families simply don’t have. The problem is compounded by a system that has tilted access toward the wealthy and white-collar workers. If you have a fancy credit card, you get “presale access,” and if you work in an office instead of a warehouse, you might be able to wait in an online queue to buy a ticket. Access now means privilege.
Power over live events is concentrated in a single corporate entity, and this regime operates without transparency or accountability – much like a dictator. Ticketmaster controls 80 percent of first-sale tickets and nearly a third of resale tickets, but they still want more. More power, more control for Ticketmaster means higher prices and less access for consumers. It’s the agenda they are pushing nationally, with the help of former Trump political operatives, who are quietly trying to undo the antitrust lawsuit launched against Ticketmaster/Live Nation under President Biden’s DOJ.
That’s why I’m deeply concerned about AB 1349 in its current form. Rather than reining in Ticketmaster’s power, the bill risks strengthening it, aligning with Trump. AB 1349 gives Ticketmaster the ability to control a consumer’s ticket forever by granting Ticketmaster’s regime new powers in state law to prevent consumers from reselling or giving away their tickets. It also creates new pathways for Ticketmaster to discriminate and retaliate against consumers who choose to shop around for the best service and fees on resale platforms that aren’t yet controlled by Ticketmaster. These provisions are anti-consumer and anti-democratic.
California has an opportunity to stand with consumers, to demand transparency, and to restore genuine competition in this industry. But that requires legislation developed with input from the community and faith leaders, not proposals backed by the very company causing the harm.
Will our laws reflect fairness, inclusion, and accountability? Or will we let corporate interests tighten their grip on spaces that should belong to everyone? I, for one, support the former and encourage the California Legislature to reject AB 1349 outright or amend it to remove any provisions that expand Ticketmaster’s control. I also urge community members to contact their representatives and advocate for accessible, inclusive live events for all Californians. Let’s work together to ensure these gathering spaces remain open and welcoming to everyone, regardless of income or background.
Advice
COMMENTARY: If You Don’t Want Your ‘Black Card’ Revoked, Watch What You Bring to Holiday Dinners
From Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Year’s Day, whether it’s the dining room table or the bid whist (Spades? Uno, anyone?) table, your card may be in danger.
By Wanda Ravernell
Post Staff
From the fourth week of November to the first week in January, if you are of African descent, but particularly African American, certain violations of cultural etiquette will get your ‘Black card’ revoked.
From Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Year’s Day, whether it’s the dining room table or the bid whist (Spades? Uno, anyone?) table, your card may be in danger.
It could take until Super Bowl Sunday for reinstatement.
I don’t know much about the card table, but for years I was on probation by the ‘Aunties,’ the givers and takers of Black cards.
How I Got into Trouble
It was 1970-something and I was influenced by the health food movement that emerged from the hippie era. A vegetarian (which was then considered sacrilegious by most Black people I knew) prepared me a simple meal: grated cheese over steamed broccoli, lentils, and brown rice.
I introduced the broccoli dish at the Friday night supper with my aunt and grandfather. She pronounced the bright green broccoli undone, but she ate it. (I did not, of course, try brown rice on them.)
I knew that I would be allowed back in the kitchen when she attempted the dish, but the broccoli had been cooked to death. (Y’all remember when ALL vegetables, not just greens, were cooked to mush?)
My Black card, which had been revoked was then reattained because they ate what I prepared and imitated it.
Over the decades, various transgressions have become normalized. I remember when having a smoked turkey neck instead of a ham hock in collard greens was greeted with mumblings and murmurings at both the dining room and card tables. Then came vegan versions with just olive oil (What? No Crisco? No bacon, at least?) and garlic. And now my husband stir fries his collards in a wok.
But No Matter How Things Have Changed…
At holiday meals, there are assigned tasks. Uncle Jack chopped raw onions when needed. Uncle Buddy made the fruit salad for Easter. My mother brought the greens in winter, macaroni salad in summer. Aunt Deanie did the macaroni and cheese, and the great aunts, my deceased grandmother’s sisters, oversaw the preparation of the roast beef, turkey, and ham. My father, if he were present, did the carving.
These designations/assignments were binding agreements that could stand up in a court of law. Do not violate the law of assignments by bringing some other version of a tried-and-true dish, even if you call it a new ‘cheese and noodle item’ to ‘try out.’ The auntie lawgivers know what you are trying to do. It’s called a menu coup d’état, and they are not having it.
The time for experiments is in your own home: your spouse and kids are the Guinea pigs.
My mother’s variation of a classic that I detested from that Sunday to the present was adding crushed pineapple to mashed sweet potatoes. A relative stops by, tries it, and then it can be introduced as an add-on to the standard holiday menu.
My Aunt Vivian’s concoctions from Good Housekeeping or Ladies’ Home Journal magazine also made it to the Black people’s tables all over the country in the form of a green bean casserole.
What Not to Do and How Did It Cross Your Mind?
People are, of all things holy, preparing mac ‘n’ cheese with so much sugar it tastes like custard with noodles in it.
Also showing up in the wrong places: raisins. Raisins have been reported in the stuffing (makes no sense unless it’s in a ‘sweet meats’ dish), in a pan of corn bread, and – heresy in the Black kitchen – the MAC ‘n’ CHEESE.
These are not mere allegations: There is photographic evidence of these Black card violations, but I don’t want to defame witnesses who remained present at the scene of the crimes.
The cook – bless his/her heart – was probably well-meaning, if ignorant. Maybe they got the idea from a social media influencer, much like Aunt Viv got recipes from magazines.
Thankfully, a long-winded blessing of the food at the table can give the wary attendee time to locate the oddity’s place on the table and plan accordingly.
But who knows? Innovation always prevails, for, as the old folks say, ‘waste makes want.’ What if the leftovers were cut up, dipped in breadcrumbs and deep fried? The next day, that dish might make it to the TV tray by the card table.
An older cousin – on her way to being an Auntie – in her bonnet, leggings, T-shirt, and bunny slippers and too tired to object, might try it and like it….
And if she ‘rubs your head’ after eating it, the new dish might be a winner and (Whew!) everybody, thanks God, keeps their Black cards.
Until the next time.
Alameda County
Seth Curry Makes Impressive Debut with the Golden State Warriors
Seth looked comfortable in his new uniform, seamlessly fitting into the Warriors’ offensive and defensive system. He finished the night with an impressive 14 points, becoming one of the team’s top scorers for the game. Seth’s points came in a variety of ways – floaters, spot-up three-pointers, mid-range jumpers, and a handful of aggressive drives that kept the Oklahoma City Thunder defense on its heels.
By Y’Anad Burrell
Tuesday night was anything but ordinary for fans in San Francisco as Seth Curry made his highly anticipated debut as a new member of the Golden State Warriors. Seth didn’t disappoint, delivering a performance that not only showcased his scoring ability but also demonstrated his added value to the team.
At 35, the 12-year NBA veteran on Monday signed a contract to play with the Warriors for the rest of the season.
Seth looked comfortable in his new uniform, seamlessly fitting into the Warriors’ offensive and defensive system. He finished the night with an impressive 14 points, becoming one of the team’s top scorers for the game. Seth’s points came in a variety of ways – floaters, spot-up three-pointers, mid-range jumpers, and a handful of aggressive drives that kept the Oklahoma City Thunder defense on its heels.
One of the most memorable moments of the evening came before Seth even scored his first points. As he checked into the game, the Chase Center erupted into applause, with fans rising to their feet to give the newest Warrior a standing ovation.
The crowd’s reaction was a testament not only to Seth’s reputation as a sharpshooter but also to the excitement he brings to the Warriors. It was clear that fans quickly embraced Seth as one of their own, eager to see what he could bring to the team’s championship aspirations.
Warriors’ superstar Steph Curry – Seth’s brother – did not play due to an injury. One could only imagine what it would be like if the Curry brothers were on the court together. Magic in the making.
Seth’s debut proved to be a turning point for the Warriors. Not only did he contribute on the scoreboard, but he also brought a sense of confidence and composure to the floor.
While their loss last night, OKC 124 – GSW 112, Seth’s impact was a game-changer and there’s more yet to come. Beyond statistics, it was clear that Seth’s presence elevated the team’s performance, giving the Warriors a new force as they look to make a deep playoff run.
-
Bay Area4 weeks agoPost Salon to Discuss Proposal to Bring Costco to Oakland Community meeting to be held at City Hall, Thursday, Dec. 18
-
Activism4 weeks agoMayor Lee, City Leaders Announce $334 Million Bond Sale for Affordable Housing, Roads, Park Renovations, Libraries and Senior Centers
-
Activism4 weeks agoOakland Post: Week of December 10 – 16, 2025
-
Activism4 weeks agoOakland School Board Grapples with Potential $100 Million Shortfall Next Year
-
Activism4 weeks ago2025 in Review: Seven Questions for Black Women’s Think Tank Founder Kellie Todd Griffin
-
Arts and Culture4 weeks agoFayeth Gardens Holds 3rd Annual Kwanzaa Celebration at Hayward City Hall on Dec. 28
-
Advice4 weeks agoCOMMENTARY: If You Don’t Want Your ‘Black Card’ Revoked, Watch What You Bring to Holiday Dinners
-
Activism4 weeks agoAnn Lowe: The Quiet Genius of American Couture





