Arts and Culture

The Bookworm Sez Book Review: “Make It Work”

Published

5 years ago

January 30, 2019

Marriage? Not interested.

Nope, you’ve tried it and it’s not for you. Neither is love, apparently, as evidenced by the string of awful dates you’ve had lately. You know that having a bad relationship is easy. Having a good one takes effort, and it might start with “Making It Work” by Tony A. Gaskins, Jr.

You just want to be loved.

Doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, that’s what everybody needs but not everyone has learned to do it right. Maybe early role models argued loudly or behind closed doors, leaving you with no template for disagreement. Maybe one parent slept around, imprinting a sense of insecurity. Or perhaps your childhood was peppered with lessons that just don’t work anymore.

Whatever you learned early in life, the first rule to keep now is to love yourself. You can’t know what you want in a partner unless you know what you want for you. Loving yourself is the basis of all good relationships.

Treat your body like the precious thing God intended. Stop being promiscuous, and don’t let your partner talk you into anything that’s wrong for you and what you want from a relationship.

“Keep your standards,” says Gaskins.

Pay close attention to potential mates: they’ll show you who they are and it’s up to you to see it. If you’re still falling in love, ask yourself seriously if you can live with their actions and ideals for the next four or five decades. Don’t put up with liars, name-callers, Mama’s Babies, profanity-users, or anyone who abuses substances.

“Be selfless” in your relationship by putting your partner first – and that means no secret-spilling to friends. Remember that both of you will bear the blame for any rift in the partnership. Learn how to disagree. And finally, know what’s worth breaking up over; prayer and a little soul-searching might surprise you.

“Make It Work” is absolutely not a book for everyone.

Page after page after page of it is filled with so many overgeneralizations that it’s almost laughable: the warning tones in the abundance of women-do-this, men-do-that scenarios feel like a marriage manual from the 1950s. The “female” is painted as a wily being, painfully desperate for love, using her body to “chase” a man; men are portrayed as being unable to think of anything but the bedroom. Readers are cautioned against having opposite-sex friends, because, well, one of you might not be able to maintain control. Yes, Eisenhower-Era readers, it’s that clichéd.

But then, just when you think your eyes have rolled plumb out of your head, author Tony A. Gaskins Jr. surprises readers with information that is so useful and real that you’ll gasp. It’s advice that makes incredible sense. And yes, it could help you do what the title promises.

Finding that, though, may be like a treasure hunt that yields rhinestones. Gleaning lessons you can use may be a lesson in frustration. Yes, this book is right for the right person, but for many readers, “Make It Work,” won’t.

“Make It Work” by Tony A. Gaskins, Jr., c.2019, Howard Books, $26.00 / $35.00 Canada, 240 pages.

By Terri Schlichenmeyer

Posts by By Terri Schlichenmeyer

Related Topics:Book review Make it Work Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

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Richmond Preps for Full Weekend of Cinco de Mayo Festivities

Cinco de Mayo festivities in Richmond and San Pablo are some of the bests in Bay, and organizers say that tradition will be alive and well at this weekend’s annual parade and festival. The action kicks off Saturday, May 4, with the 16th Annual Cinco de Mayo Richmond/San Pablo Peace & Unity Parade. The parade of floats, performances, and community organizations starts at 10 a.m. at 24th Street and Barrett Avenue and Richmond and ends at 12:30 p.m. at St. Paul’s Church, 1845 Church Lane in San Pablo.

Published

2 days ago

May 4, 2024

Oakland Post

Scene from the 2023 Cinco de Mayo parade from Richmond to San Pablo. Photo courtesy The Richmond Standard.

By Mike Kinney

The Richmond Standard

Cinco de Mayo festivities in Richmond and San Pablo are some of the bests in Bay, and organizers say that tradition will be alive and well at this weekend’s annual parade and festival.

The action kicks off Saturday, May 4, with the 16th Annual Cinco de Mayo Richmond/San Pablo Peace & Unity Parade. The parade of floats, performances, and community organizations starts at 10 a.m. at 24th Street and Barrett Avenue and Richmond and ends at 12:30 p.m. at St. Paul’s Church, 1845 Church Lane in San Pablo.

The parade’s Grand Marshall this year will be community organizer Diego Garcia, owner of Leftside Printing.

The festivities continue Sunday with the Cinco de Mayo Festival along 23rd Street, which last year drew over 100,000 people, according to the 23rd Street Merchants Association. This year’s festival will again run from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. between the intersections of Rheem Avenue and Clinton Avenue. It will feature two entertainment stages, one sponsored by La Raza 93.3 FM at 23rd and Rheem, and another sponsored by Radio Lazer FM at 23rd and Clinton.

Both events are important for the city and the region’s Latino community.

San Pablo Mayor Genoveva Calloway, who co-chairs the parade alongside John Marquez, president of the Contra Costa Community College District Board of Trustees, says Saturday’s festivities are about bringing the Richmond and San Pablo communities together in unity.

“This truly connects the spectators and people in the parade as one,” Calloway said. “The parade showcases the real communities of Richmond and San Pablo – our nonprofits, schools, horse riders, classic cars and trucks, our local businesses. All of these people represent the heartbeat of our community.”

Rigo Mendoza, vice president of the 23rd Street Merchants Association, said that at its heart, Richmond’s Cinco de Mayo Festival celebrates the date the Mexican army’s victory over France at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.

But John Marquez started up the popular festival to bring the community together and also to exhibit the community’s businesses and culture to visitors, Mendoza said. The gathering was also a way to promote peace in the community.

Oakland Post

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Art

Mario Van Peebles’ ‘Outlaw Posse’ Screened at Oakland’s Grand Lake Theatre

Published

2 days ago

May 4, 2024

Oakland Post

Film director Mario Van Peebles, who also stars in “Outlaw Posse,” appeared at a press conference held at RBA Creative on MacArthur Boulevard hosted by the Oakland International Film Festival. Photo By Carla Thomas.

By Carla Thomas

The Oakland International Film Festival hosted a screening of “Outlaw Posse” at the Grand Lake Theatre on Monday. Special guests included director/actor Mario Van Peebles and his co-star, Oakland native Scytorya Rhodes. The film is Peebles’ second western, the first being ‘Posse,’ 13 years ago. Filmmaker Van Peebles shared his passion for independent artistry and producing projects with his son, Mandela, who also starred in the film, along with Whoopi Goldberg and Cedric the Entertainer. Next week, The Post will publish an in-depth interview featuring Peebles’ reflections on his work, future projects, and continuing his father’s legacy and Rhodes on her grandfather, a real-life cowboy.

Oakland Post

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Arts and Culture

Kedrick Armstrong: New Music Director for the Oakland Symphony

The Oakland Symphony Announced Kedrick Armstrong as its Next Music Director. In addition to conducting the orchestra’s public concerts, Armstrong will also actively participate in the Oakland Symphony’s many education and community engagement programs, designed to inspire a love of music in people of all ages.

Published

2 weeks ago

April 20, 2024

Oakland Post

Kedrick Armstrong is the new music director for the Oakland Symphony. Photo credit Scott Chernis.

By Post Staff

The Oakland Symphony Announced Kedrick Armstrong as its Next Music Director.
In addition to conducting the orchestra’s public concerts, Armstrong will also actively participate in the Oakland Symphony’s many education and community engagement programs, designed to inspire a love of music in people of all ages.

Armstrong is the successor to previous music director and Conductor Michael Morgan, who passed away in 2021 after a 30-year tenure at the Symphony.

Armstrong will open the Oakland Symphony 2024-2025 season on October 18.

Armstrong, who is 29 and hails from Georgetown, South Carolina, is currently the creative partner and principal conductor of the Knox-Galesburg Symphony.

The Chicago Tribune has praised Armstrong for his ability to “simply let the score speak for itself.” He enjoys a wide range of repertoire, spanning early music to premiering new works, using his joy and curiosity for all music to cultivate understanding and collaboration within diverse communities.
“I am deeply honored and grateful for the opportunity to serve as the new music director of the Oakland Symphony,” Armstrong said. “As a Black conductor, I find it humbling to stand on the shoulders of both Michael Morgan and Calvin Simmons,” the most recent and the first African American music directors of the Symphony, respectively.

Armstrong led three programs at the Symphony between 2022 and early 2024, which showcased his broad knowledge of the classical repertoire and enthusiasm for spotlighting diverse voices.
On his Oakland Symphony subscription debut on Feb. 16, Armstrong led the world premiere of “Here I Stand: Paul Robeson,” an oratorio by Carlos Simon on a libretto by Dan Harder, commissioned by the Oakland Symphony.

Armstrong was selected unanimously by the Oakland Symphony’s board of directors and musicians after an extensive two-year search. “The search committee was overwhelmed by Kedrick’s scholarship and curiosity about all kinds of music, from classical and jazz to gospel and hip-hop,” said. Dr. Mieko Hatano, executive director of the Oakland Symphony. “We are thrilled to have him join us at the Oakland Symphony.”