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BOOK REVIEW: “Welcome to My Breakdown”

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You’re tired of having red eyes.

 

You’re tired of crying, too; tired of an empty soul, runny nose, and dry mouth but you know there are more tears inside you and they need to come out.

 

Whoever said that big girls don’t cry needs to know that that’s not true: as in the new book “Welcome to My Breakdown” by Benilde Little, sometimes crying is only the beginning.

 

For many years, Clara Little liked to say that she knew her last child would be a girl. She predicted it, and it happened – perhaps through force of will because, says her daughter, Clara was that kind of person: self-reliant and strong.

 

Clara worked long overnight shifts, but made sure that her house was spotless. She helped care for her neighbors and her family, giving her children a good upper-middle-class life at a time when that was a rare thing in their mostly-African American New Jersey community.

 

Her giving spirit and her no-nonsense personality remained well known for the rest of her life, and when Clara died, her many friends mourned along with her family.

 

For Benilde Little, the death of her mother was a crushing blow – the biggest in a series of events that bruised her already-fragile, sensitive soul.

 

Two months prior, Little lost her father-in-law. After her mother’s death, her best friend’s mother died, the financial market collapsed, the Littles’ income fell, Little’s dog got sick, menopausal symptoms exacerbated, and her husband was diagnosed with cancer.

 

For months, Little could barely function without dissolving in tears. She had trouble getting out of bed, she stopped calling on friends, and her writing career all but halted.

 

Seemingly everybody had advice and most offered support but, powerless to pull herself up and knowing that this was more than just grief, Little began seeking help for a diagnosis of clinical depression.

 

She tried therapy sessions, prescriptions, distractions, and exercise but she still couldn’t stop crying and she couldn’t erase certain mental images that plagued her.

 

There were good days, but they were eclipsed by the very, very bad ones – until she began to see things that further opened her eyes.

 

We’ve all had times in our lives when nothing goes right. “Welcome to My Breakdown,” shows what it feels like when one of Those Days lasts for years.

 

Indeed, although it’s hard to accurately explain the depths of depression or grief, author Benilde Little still gives readers a good sense of the senseless, and of the confusion that’s felt when one is completely, totally powerless to explain why certain harmful emotions are so sticky and can’t abate.

 

We’re also taken on a trip through a few of the various treatments that work – and don’t – before Little finds a shaky conclusion.

Be aware that there’s quite a bit of back-story filler and empty name-dropping here but since this book could be a comfort to anyone experiencing grief or depression, the pay-off might be worth the journey.

 

For that person, “Welcome to My Breakdown” could be a memoir well read.

 

“Welcome to My Breakdown” by Benilde Little, c. 2015, Atria, $26, 288 pages.

Arts and Culture

Kedrick Armstrong: New Music Director for the Oakland Symphony

The Oakland Symphony Announced Kedrick Armstrong as its Next Music Director. In addition to conducting the orchestra’s public concerts, Armstrong will also actively participate in the Oakland Symphony’s many education and community engagement programs, designed to inspire a love of music in people of all ages.

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Kedrick Armstrong is the new music director for the Oakland Symphony. Photo credit Scott Chernis.
Kedrick Armstrong is the new music director for the Oakland Symphony. Photo credit Scott Chernis.

By Post Staff

The Oakland Symphony Announced Kedrick Armstrong as its Next Music Director.
In addition to conducting the orchestra’s public concerts, Armstrong will also actively participate in the Oakland Symphony’s many education and community engagement programs, designed to inspire a love of music in people of all ages.

Armstrong is the successor to previous music director and Conductor Michael Morgan, who passed away in 2021 after a 30-year tenure at the Symphony.

Armstrong will open the Oakland Symphony 2024-2025 season on October 18.

Armstrong, who is 29 and hails from Georgetown, South Carolina, is currently the creative partner and principal conductor of the Knox-Galesburg Symphony.

The Chicago Tribune has praised Armstrong for his ability to “simply let the score speak for itself.” He enjoys a wide range of repertoire, spanning early music to premiering new works, using his joy and curiosity for all music to cultivate understanding and collaboration within diverse communities.
“I am deeply honored and grateful for the opportunity to serve as the new music director of the Oakland Symphony,” Armstrong said. “As a Black conductor, I find it humbling to stand on the shoulders of both Michael Morgan and Calvin Simmons,” the most recent and the first African American music directors of the Symphony, respectively.

Armstrong led three programs at the Symphony between 2022 and early 2024, which showcased his broad knowledge of the classical repertoire and enthusiasm for spotlighting diverse voices.
On his Oakland Symphony subscription debut on Feb. 16, Armstrong led the world premiere of “Here I Stand: Paul Robeson,” an oratorio by Carlos Simon on a libretto by Dan Harder, commissioned by the Oakland Symphony.

Armstrong was selected unanimously by the Oakland Symphony’s board of directors and musicians after an extensive two-year search.  “The search committee was overwhelmed by Kedrick’s scholarship and curiosity about all kinds of music, from classical and jazz to gospel and hip-hop,” said. Dr. Mieko Hatano, executive director of the Oakland Symphony. “We are thrilled to have him join us at the Oakland Symphony.”

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Arts and Culture

Faces Around the Bay Dr. Carl Blake, Pianist

Born in Liberty, Missouri, Carl Blake, a virtuoso and respected pianist, made his most recent migration to the East Bay in 1999. One might have seen him performing recently at Noontime Concerts in San Francisco, or at the Piedmont Center for the Arts in Oakland. He is Director of Music at The Church for the Fellowship of All Peoples in San Francisco. He was also co-organizer and collaborative pianist at Herbst Theater for The Majesty of the Spirituals concert in 2022 and has held several church positions in the Bay Area.

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Dr. Carl Blake
Dr. Carl Blake

By Barbara Fluhrer

Born in Liberty, Missouri, Carl Blake, a virtuoso and respected pianist, made his most recent migration to the East Bay in 1999.

One might have seen him performing recently at Noontime Concerts in San Francisco, or at the Piedmont Center for the Arts in Oakland. He is Director of Music at The Church for the Fellowship of All Peoples in San Francisco. He was also co-organizer and collaborative pianist at Herbst Theater for The Majesty of the Spirituals concert in 2022 and has held several church positions in the Bay Area.

Blake obtained a Bachelor of Music from Boston University and continued post-baccalaureate studies in Jamaica before earning a Master of Arts in Music at San Jose State University. He was the recipient of two Fulbright residencies in Honduras and completed a third residency at the University of St. Petersburg in Russia. He has a Doctor of Musical Arts from Cornell University.

At age 19, Blake, then an undergraduate piano major at Boston University, was “discovered” by Impresario Dr. W. Hazaiah Williams, who is the Founder and Director of Today’s Artists/Four Seasons Arts.

Williams honored Blake by awarding him the first Marian Anderson Young Artist Award.  Anderson personally presented the award at the Masonic Auditorium in S.F.  Subsequently, Blake was presented by Dr. Williams in his San Francisco debut at The Herbst Theatre. Williams subsidized a year of study abroad for Blake at the Paris Conservatory of Music. Additionally, Williams sponsored Blake’s New York Weill Hall debut, where he has performed twice since.  Blake performed several times at the Yachats Music Festival in Oregon.

Blake continues to perform nationally and abroad. His hobbies are reading, baking and travel. He says, “I’m still pumping ivories, as Belgian pianist Jeanne Stark described the disciplined practice of concert piano.”

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Arts and Culture

Oakland Jazz Great Offers Master Class as City Declares “John Handy Day”

World-renowned jazz master saxophonist John Handy, a McClymond’s High School graduate, was presented with a Mayor of Oakland Proclamation declaring Feb. 12, as John Handy Day in the city. Handy is most notably known as the featured saxophonist for Charles Mingus on “Goodbye Pork Pie Hat” from the album “Mingus Ah Um” (1959) and on “Hard Work” from his own album “Hard Work” (1976).

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(L-R) Del Handy, John Handy, Roger Glenn, and Joe Warner celebrate John Handy Day at Geoffrey’s Inner Circle, Oakland. Photo by Lady Bianca.
(L-R) Del Handy, John Handy, Roger Glenn, and Joe Warner celebrate John Handy Day at Geoffrey’s Inner Circle, Oakland. Photo by Lady Bianca.

By Conway Jones

World-renowned jazz master saxophonist John Handy, a McClymond’s High School graduate, was presented with a Mayor of Oakland Proclamation declaring Feb. 12, as John Handy Day in the city.

Handy is most notably known as the featured saxophonist for Charles Mingus on “Goodbye Pork Pie Hat” from the album “Mingus Ah Um” (1959) and on “Hard Work” from his own album “Hard Work” (1976).

“John Handy is a jazz icon and an inspiration to musicians everywhere,” said Ayo Brame, a 16-year-old Oakland tenor saxophone player who is enrolled at the Oakland School for the Arts.

In celebration of this day, the reception in downtown Oakland at Geoffrey’s Inner Circle was a gathering of artists, young and old, coming together in his honor and celebrating his 91st birthday.

Handy presented a Saxophone Colossus free masterclass for musicians. This class afforded a rare opportunity to learn about the saxophone from an aficionado. The class was free and open to all – saxophonists, vocalists, aficionados, students, and casual listeners.

“As a longtime friend for over 60 years, and fellow musician who has had numerous opportunities to share the stage with John, it has always been a pleasure performing with him and hearing his creative interpretations of the music and his gift of ease inspiring the next generation of jazz musicians,” said Roger Glenn, a multi-instrumentalist.

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