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Black Americans On How to Have Joyful Friendships
By Anissa Durham, Word in Black U.S. adults reported higher levels of loneliness during the height of the pandemic. This was compounded by isolation, in-person restrictions, and virtual learning. Many young adults report feeling left out or like they missed out on new friends and experiences. But, as we move into a “new normal,” Americans are still […]
The post Black Americans On How to Have Joyful Friendships first appeared on BlackPressUSA.
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2 years agoon
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By Anissa Durham, Word in Black
U.S. adults reported higher levels of loneliness during the height of the pandemic. This was compounded by isolation, in-person restrictions, and virtual learning. Many young adults report feeling left out or like they missed out on new friends and experiences.
But, as we move into a “new normal,” Americans are still struggling to make new friends. Friendship is vital to feeling less lonely and building an emotional support system.
A report by Survey Center on American Life found differences in feelings of satisfaction based on the number of friends Americans have. Black folks expressed greater feelings of satisfaction than white people.
I’ve spent the entire year thinking about my friends. The strength of our relationship. Making new friends. And losing friends. As a young Black woman, I thought about the joy and pain of friendships, and the vitality of those relationships.
Who and what makes a good friend depends on who you ask. But the beauty of these relationships illuminates our lives and mental health. To show the depth of good friendships and the pain of bad friends, I spoke with five Black women and men about what friendship means to them, and what they’ve learned from these relationships.
Here are their stories.
Trinity Alicia, 23, Boston, Program coordinator
My closest friends are from college, undergrad at San Diego State. I have some post grad friendships that are in Boston. They’ve shown me so much about myself beyond being a student. I find them very valuable to my life.
Right now, I think a good friendship looks like accountability, check ins, good active listening, and just being in the loop. It takes a really good friend to have tough conversations and to understand the responsibility that they serve in your life. And to understand that their presence is powerful.
Since I graduated, I moved to a brand-new city where I knew no one and I live alone. So, I feel like it’s very easy to be lonely and kind of dwell on that quiet space. Now, I define friends as someone who gets you out of that quiet space, well-being, and centers my strengths and also pushes you to be greater.
I have a friend that I’ve known since I was 10-years-old. For him to see my growth is really cool, and we’re able to have different conversations than we were before. He channels health and well-being through difficult things like my parents’ divorce. He’s also a Black man, so there’s a lot of identity [conversations].
I think the loneliness doesn’t feel as strong. I don’t feel as alone when I’m communicating with my friends or when we’re making jokes and hanging out. I think their patience helps them to be a better friend to me.
Random calls, FaceTime’s, and audio messages are really something that I consider a love language. Audio message is really nice, it’s listening to your best friend’s podcast.
I identify as a Black American, and people that prioritize my identity especially in interracial friendships really helped me to feel safe. As I’m navigating a predominately white city, with historical stereotypes that are very anti-Black, it helps to know that friends are checking in.
It’s hard to make friends as an adult. Either I make friends, or I don’t. It’s definitely an inner conversation I have with myself. I want to see Black people, but I never know when is the next time I’ll see a Black person, which is so scary.
Taayoo Murray, 42, New York City, Freelance health writer
I’m very deliberate about how I define who my friends are, because I keep a very tight circle. My closest friends are Kathey, Rochelle, and Kimbrilee. The four of us are in a group chat. We’ve known each other for more than 25 years.
I prize loyalty. It’s not that you can’t criticize, it’s not that you can’t tell a friend they’re wrong, but I think loyalty is the main ingredient. I’m always there for my friends — always. I suppose that’s why I don’t have many because I’m so fiercely protective of my friends that I probably don’t have the bandwidth to have a ton of friends.
When Kathey had a miscarriage, I slept the entire night in the hospital with her. We were crying together. When Rochelle’s dad died, I dropped off my kids and went straight to the hospital where her dad died. Kim had a medical emergency once, and I made sure I was there with her.
My dad died when I was 25, I was really a daddy’s girl. Kathy broke the news to me. All of my girlfriends basically took over my life at that time.
I now know that they keep me sane. I kind of took my friendships for granted — it wasn’t until the pandemic that I realized how much I depended on them. Conversations that I have with my girlfriends, I don’t necessarily have with my sister, and I don’t have with my mom. It’s like a real safe space. There’s absolutely nothing that we don’t discuss in our group. We talk about anything and everything.
I like the fact that they listen, and they keep confidence. I never have to worry that the stuff I tell them I’m going to hear it somewhere else. It’s just so liberating. You don’t realize how much you need people to talk to until you don’t have it.
Jason Clarke, 23, D.C., full-time student
Some of my closest friends, we met at church. I’ve been friends with a lot of them for almost 10 years now. We’ve all seen each other grow up. It’s really crazy seeing how everyone’s life is turning out.
To me what makes a good friendship, number one, is loyalty. When I was facing some of the darkest parts of my life, I was able to depend on them. They’ve always been really dependable people who I can count on.
My brother passed away in 2017. That was a really, really tough time. The reason why I can say I’m sane today is because of my friends. I think people expect grief to be linear, but to this day my friends are still here for me.
I feel like they helped me to experience joy in different parts of my life. If I didn’t have them, I don’t know if I’d have any joy. I’ve also found peace through them. They’re truly kind, loving, and protective people.
A lot of times people believe that men can’t be friends with women, or there can’t be platonic friends — but I beg to differ. My friend group is a good mix of both.
Kayla Taylor, 24, Chicago, Content acquisitions editor
My closest friendships are friends that I met through my religious community, the Baha’i community. One of my best friends is Asiyih. Maybe two weeks into our friendship, I realized how important a spiritual component is in a friendship. We connected with each other on a level that I had never connected with any friends before.

We met in February of 2022. I had just moved away from home to Washington, D.C., for graduate school. One of the nights, we realized we were like the same person; we were just singing old Disney Channel songs. It usually takes me a really long time to get comfortable with someone, but I felt that with her right away.
She welcomed me into her life, the same way that I welcomed her into my life.
I was going through a really hard breakup at the time, and I needed a social circle. I think she intentionally and unintentionally helped me heal through that. And helped me realize there’s so much love outside of a romantic relationship. A friendship with other women is stronger than any romantic relationship I could ever build.
This time in my life feels a little bit next level, and I think part of it is that I’m getting the physical affection that I never really got growing up. Laughter is my favorite thing about these friendships.
Chantel Philip, 36, New Jersey, Photographer
My closest friends are from high school. A good friendship to me is a space to allow me to be my full self and authentically me. A lot of friendships I’ve had had to be in alignment of who I was in that moment. Navigating that is very difficult when you’re an adult. Because it’s uncomfortable and lonely when you’re growing and the other people are not, but you don’t want to let them go.
It’s important to create boundaries and have friendships that respect that and don’t push them. I’m a recovering people pleaser. When I was younger, I just wanted to be liked and to fit in. I was blessed and cursed for being very popular. I’ve realized my light is very bright, and my personality is very pure and fun to be around. With that energy, sometimes you attract the wrong people, who want to use your energy for their own means.

I still had difficulty in college as well. Now when I see people being jealous of me — it’s weird. That has been something that I had to learn internally and let it guide me in the direction of better and more supportive friendships.
I do appreciate those terrible friends. I appreciate the jealous ones. I appreciate the toxic ones, and the ones that slept with my man.
There was a time when my ex cheated on me. We lived together. They came over and helped me pack and move into my new space. And my friends sat me down and said ‘I think your problem is that you don’t love yourself enough and you don’t see yourself as worthy.’
I didn’t know I wasn’t confident before. I didn’t know I had low self-esteem. I didn’t know I deserved more.
How ever you treat yourself in those friendships and how those people treat you will show up in your romantic relationships. Loving myself more attracted people in that same energy, because we’re growing together.
I’m so blessed to have curated the people who are close to me. I really, really want to make new friends this year. I realize they have to be in alignment with me and doing the work internally in their spirit.
Probably the toughest thing you will learn in your adulthood, is to understand not everybody can come with you — and it’s OK. They just can’t come with you on your journey, and they have to have their own journey.
I thrive in joy and happiness. For my mental health, I need people to remind me I’m a good artist, and I know what I’m doing, and that I’m brilliant. The reminder of your worth is so important. I feel like artists are very moody.
They force you to celebrate yourself. Even the littlest of things — (they tell me) ‘don’t be humble.’ They are my cheerleaders. They are my therapists. They’re my spiritual coaches.
I need the support. I need the love.
This article originally appeared in San Diego Voice and Viewpoint.
The post Black Americans On How to Have Joyful Friendships first appeared on BlackPressUSA.
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Black Artists in America, Installation Three Wraps at the Dixon Gallery and Gardens
TRI-STATE DEFENDER — With 50+ paintings, sculptures and assemblages, the exhibit features artists like Varnette Honeywood from Los Angeles, whose pieces appeared in Bill Coby’s private collection (before they were auctioned off) and on “The Cosby Show.” Also included are works by Alonzo Davis, another Los Angeles artist who opened one of the first galleries there where Black Artists could exhibit.
Published
5 days agoon
March 24, 2026By
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By Candace A. Gray | Tri-State Defender
The tulips gleefully greet those who enter the gates at the Dixon Gallery & Gardens on an almost spring day. More than 650,000 bulbs of various hues are currently on display. And they are truly breathtaking.
Inside the gallery, and equally as breathtaking, is the “Black Artists in America, From the Bicentennial to September 11” exhibit, which runs through Sunday, March 29. This is the third installment of a three-part series that started years ago and illustrates part of the Black experience through visual arts in the 20th century.
“This story picks up where part two left off,’’ said Kevin Sharp, the Linda W. and S. Herbert Rhea director for the Dixon. “This era is when we really start to see the emergence of these important Black artists’ agency and freedom shine through. They start to say and express what they want to, and it was a really beautiful time.”
With 50+ paintings, sculptures and assemblages, the exhibit features artists like Varnette Honeywood from Los Angeles, whose pieces appeared in Bill Coby’s private collection (before they were auctioned off) and on “The Cosby Show.” Also included are works by Alonzo Davis, another Los Angeles artist who opened one of the first galleries there where Black Artists could exhibit.
“Though [Davis] was from LA, he actually lived in Memphis for a decade,” said Sharp. “He was a dean at Memphis College of Art, and later opened the first gallery in New York owned and operated by black curators.”
Another featured artist is former NFL player, Ernie Barnes. His work is distinctive. Where have you seen one of his most popular paintings, Sugar Shack? On the end scene and credits of the hit show “Good Times.” His piece Saturday Night, Durham, North Carolina, 1974 is in this collection.
Memphis native James Little’s “The War Baby: The Triptych” is among more than 50 works featured in “Black Artists in America, From the Bicentennial to September 11” at the Dixon Gallery & Gardens, the final installment of a three-part series highlighting the impact and evolution of Black artists through 2011.
The exhibit features other artists with Memphis ties, including abstract painter James Little, who was raised in a segregated Memphis and attended Memphis Academy of Art (before it was Memphis College of Art). He later moved to New York, became a teacher and an internationally acclaimed fixture in the art world in 2022 when he was named a Whitney Biennial selected artist at the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York.
Other artists like Romare Bearden, who had a Southern experience but lived up North, were featured in all three installments.
“During this period of time, he was a major figure,” said Sharp. “He wrote one of the first books on the history of African American art during a time when there were more Black academics, art teachers, more Black everything!”
Speaking of Black educators, Sharp said the head curator behind this tri-part series and Dixon’s partner in the arts is Earnestine Jenkins, Ph.D., an art history professor at the University of Memphis, who also earned a Master of Arts degree from Memphis State University (now UofM). “We began working with Dr. Jenkins in 2018,” he said.
Sharp explained that it takes a team of curators, registrars, counterparts at other museums, and more, about three years to assemble an exhibit like this. It came together quite seamlessly, he added. Each room conjured up more jaw-dropping “wows” than the one before it. Each piece worked with the others to tell the story of Black people and their collective experience during this time period.
One of the last artists about whom Sharp shared information was Bettye Saar, who will turn 100 years old this year. She’s been working in Los Angeles for 80 years and is finally getting her due. Her medium is collages or assemblages, and an incredible work of hers is on display. She’s married to an artist and has two daughters, also artists.
The exhibit catalogue bears some of these artists’ stories, among other scholarly information.
The exhibit, presented by the Joe Orgill Family Fund for Exhibitions, is culturally and colorfully rich. It is a must see and admission to the Dixon is free.
Visit https://www.dixon.org/ to learn more.
Fun Facts: An original James Little design lives in the flooring of the basketball court at Tom Lee Park, and he makes and mixes his own paint colors.
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Grief, Advocacy, and Education: A Counselor Reflects on Black Maternal Health
SAN DIEGO VOICE & VIEWPOINT — Last month healthcare leaders, birth workers, and community members gathered to honor the legacy of Charleston native Dr. Janell Green Smith, a nurse-midwife and doctor of nursing practice who died in January from childbirth complications. She had participated in more than 300 births and specialized in helping Black women give birth safely.
Published
5 days agoon
March 24, 2026By
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By Jennifer Porter Gore | Word-In-Black | San Diego Voice and Viewpoint
In 2024, the number of U.S. mothers who died as a result of pregnancy or childbirth dropped compared to 2023. But while slightly fewer Black mothers died that year, they still had three times the mortality rate of white women.
South Carolina’s rates of maternal deaths outpaced even the national rates. In fact, the state’s overall rate of maternal deaths between 2019 and 2023 was higher than all but eight states and the District of Columbia.
Last month healthcare leaders, birth workers, and community members gathered to honor the legacy of Charleston native Dr. Janell Green Smith, a nurse-midwife and doctor of nursing practice who died in January from childbirth complications. She had participated in more than 300 births and specialized in helping Black women give birth safely.
Her death shocked the community and her colleagues who are determined to address concerns about Black maternal health. The event also covered the importance of protecting mental health during grief and of men’s role in solving the maternal health crisis.
As both a therapist and a father, Lawrence Lovell, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Breakthrough Solutions, discussed ways the event’s attendees could process their grief over Green Smith’s death. He also shared ways male partners can advocate for women’s maternal health during pregnancy and childbirth.
Lovell spoke not just as a therapist but also as a father whose own family had briefly crossed paths with Green Smith. The event, he said, emerged organically from a moment of collective mourning.
Despite the grief, “it was still, like, a really beautiful event, a much-needed event, and it almost felt like we were all giving each other a collective family hug,” says Lovell.
His connection to Green Smith, Lovell says, was brief but meaningful during his wife’s pregnancy with their second child. Green Smith was practicing at the same birthing center where they had their child. She began practicing in Greenville a short time later.Even that short connection carried significance for Lovell, given the small number of Black maternal health professionals.
Lovell did not initially plan to become a mental health practitioner; he chose the career path after graduating from college, when someone suggested he consider psychology. His interest deepened when he noticed how few Black men work in mental health.
“Being Black man and playing football in college, there weren’t a lot of people that look like me talking about mental health,” says Lovell. “[I wanted] to give people that look like me an opportunity to work with someone that looks like them.”
Working with Expectant and New Parents
Lovell often counsels couples preparing for parenthood by, helping partners understand what a successful pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum recovery look like. That often means helping women manage postpartum depression.
As a man, Lovell says, it’s “humbling” that a woman “just trusts me enough to work with me through their pregnancy or their postpartum recovery.”
In his work, Lovell has noticed how few men understand pregnancy before they experience it with their partner. Because early pregnancy symptoms are often invisible, he says, men may underestimate how much support a mom-to-be actually needs.
“Sometimes they may not realize they don’t know much about pregnancy and what to expect in those three trimesters,” Lovell says. “I tell a lot of the men that just because you can’t see [she’s pregnant] doesn’t mean that she won’t appreciate your intense support in that first trimester.”
Education about pregnancy and postpartum recovery, he says, can change how men support their partners.
Teaching Advocacy in the Delivery Room
Another major focus of Lovell’s counseling is preparing men to advocate for mothers during labor.
“Helping men understand what pregnancy looks like: what delivery is going to look like, and what are the realistic expectations that I should have of myself in postpartum,” he says.
Lovell encourages partners to be honest about their expectations for what will happen during delivery. He helps them prepare for the big day by discussing the birth plan and knowing how to quickly recognize problems. Clear communication, he says, prevents misunderstandings.
He regularly trains men to ask their partners detailed questions about their expectations during and after pregnancy. Advocacy in medical settings can be especially important and requires attention to details the mother may not be able to address.
“It’s always important to fine-tune things and truly understand what helps your partner feel most supported,” Lovell says. “Instead of guessing, you should ask.”
Lovell recalls a moment during the birth of his first child when he had to take that role.
During the delivery, “I felt like something wasn’t as sanitary as I’d like it to be,” he says. “I asked, ‘Hey, can you switch those out? Can you change your gloves?’”
Lovell has a succinct but powerful message he regularly shares with clients’ families, and he shared it with attendees at last month’s event.
“Just to believe women,” he says. “I’ve worked with different couples, and sometimes I’m not really sure that there’s enough empathy from the men.”
That includes how women express pain.
“If a woman says, ‘my pain is at a nine,’ just because how you would express yourself at a nine is different than how she’s expressing herself at [that level] doesn’t mean you shouldn’t believe her,” he says.
Empathy, he says, can change outcomes far beyond the delivery room.
“We’ve got to believe women when they’re talking about their experiences and their feelings and their pain,” he says. “I think there’s a lot that we can prevent if we empathize better.”
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Future of Florida’s Black History Museum in Limbo
JACKSONVILLE FREE PRESS — A proposal sponsored by Tom Leek, a Republican from Ormond Beach, has now passed the Senate in back-to-back legislative sessions. But the House version, filed by Kiyan Michael, a Jacksonville Republican, did not receive final approval in either year, effectively stalling the effort.
Published
5 days agoon
March 24, 2026By
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Jacksonville Free Press
Plans to establish a long-awaited Black history museum in Florida are once again on hold after legislation needed to advance the project failed to clear the state House for a second consecutive year, despite repeated approval in the Senate.
A proposal sponsored by Tom Leek, a Republican from Ormond Beach, has now passed the Senate in back-to-back legislative sessions. But the House version, filed by Kiyan Michael, a Jacksonville Republican, did not receive final approval in either year, effectively stalling the effort.
Under Florida law, identical or similar bills must pass both chambers before heading to the governor’s desk. Without House approval, the legislation has been unable to move forward, leaving the project in limbo. Long journey, contested location.
The proposed museum, formally known as the Florida Museum of Black History, has been years in the making, with lawmakers and community leaders framing it as a long-overdue institution to preserve and showcase the state’s African American heritage .A central point of contention has been the museum’s location. St. Augustine — widely recognized as the nation’s oldest city and a site deeply tied to both slavery and early Black history — emerged as the leading contender. Supporters argue the city’s historical significance makes it a natural home for the museum. However, competing interests and regional considerations have fueled debate, slowing consensus among lawmakers.
While the Senate-backed measure has consistently advanced, the lack of alignment in the House has underscored ongoing divisions about how and where the project should take shape.
The holdup in the Florida House appears to be less about opposition to the museum itself and more about a combination of procedural bottlenecks, unresolved structural issues, and lingering disagreements over how the project should be formalized and governed.
Despite the legislative setbacks, Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis has publicly voiced support for the museum. Speaking last month during the unveiling of a statue of abolitionist Frederick Douglass in St. Augustine, DeSantis said the project would move forward “one way or another,” signaling an intent to see the museum built regardless of legislative hurdles.
The anticipated museum has already cleared several hurdles. St. Johns County signed an agreement last year with Florida Memorial University to use the land that once housed its campus last year’s legislative session netted $1 million in funding for St. Johns County to work on planning and design for the museum. However, its anticipated that a million $3 million is needed.
Still, without statutory approval to finalize key components — including governance, funding mechanisms and site selection — the project remains largely conceptual.
With the House bill failing again, the timeline for the museum’s development is unclear. Lawmakers could revisit the proposal in the next legislative session, but any further delays risk pushing the project back several more years. Advocates warn that continued inaction could stall momentum for a museum many see as critical to telling a fuller, more accurate story of Florida’s past. For now, the effort remains paused — caught between political support at the top and legislative gridlock within the Capitol.
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