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Ask Alma

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Alma Gill

By Alma Gill
NNPA Columnist

 

My Niece Didn’t Invite Me to Her Wedding

Dear Alma,

I have never been this shocked and pissed all at the same time. My niece must be trippin! She has got to be crazy! I just received a group email of pictures of her wedding with a note that says here are the pictures from my wedding. What wedding! I didn’t even know she was getting married. This was not a backyard just pulled together in a couple of days weddings either. This was in a beautiful location in one of the historic districts in our city. She had a large bridal party of ten. Everybody in our family was there, all of our family and friends. I have four sisters and all of them were there except me. All of our cousins, aunts, and uncles. The only two people who weren’t there were me and my mother. I talk to my sister on a regular basis and how in the world could she not mention her wedding. I can’t believe this! How could she pull of such an elaborate event without INVITING us?

 

Well, as kind and as gently as I can declare, TBT, she didn’t want you or your mother to attend. Which brings to mind this question: What exactly did her auntie and grandma do or say that would exclude them from her wedding? Why did she obviously tell her mom/your sister/her grandma’s daughter and the rest of the wedding party not to include you in the planning? Ok see, you ain’t giving me all the ingredients to this cheesy beef casserole. Where’s the meat?

You and I both know that every bride that’s able painstakingly takes the time to dream, plan and execute the best wedding she can possibly imagine. She surrounds herself with the people she loves and all the friends and family members who are important to her and her impending groom. Again, I ask, what did you do? You had to say or participate in something so hurtful or trifling, that it made her not want to share this special day with you.

Think back. What was it? Clearly, whatever it is, it’s huge. The four of you, yes, I said four, the bride, her mother (your sister), you and your mom need a cool and calm, let me try to understand where you’re coming from. No weapons allowed. Sit down around the kitchen table. She’s hurt, deeply! And you need to find out the root cause of the problem. I’m sure you, as her aunt, and your mom, her grandmother were heartbroken to find out about the wedding in a group email and on Facebook. Carry that empathy to the table. Let her know you were surprised and shocked that you missed such a special occasion in her life and even more dumbfounded that you were not invited to be a part of it. Keep it plain and simple, all you need is one word: Why? When she speaks, keep silent, and listen. Stop, rewind, press play – I said yawl (you and your mama); you just need to listen. She has something heavy on her heart that needs to be said. If you listen with your broken heart and overflow of unconditional love, you can mend this.

There will be many a sad occasion for everybody to congregate. You know kinfolks are never too busy to attend funerals, Life’s too short to miss out on joyful celebrations. Be the first to apologize and fix this family foolishness. Stop wasting what should be treasurable times and magical memories.

Alma

 

Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.

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Advice

Rising Optimism Among Small And Middle Market Business Leaders Suggests Growth for California

“Business leaders across the Pacific region continue to demonstrate a unique blend of resilience and forward-thinking, even in the face of ongoing economic uncertainty,” said Brennon Crist, Managing Director and Head of the Pacific Segment, Commercial Banking, J.P. Morgan. “Their commitment to innovation and growth is evident in the way they adapt to challenges and seize new opportunities. It’s this spirit that keeps our region at the forefront of business leadership and progress. We look forward to helping our clients navigate all that’s ahead in 2026.”

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Super Scout / E+ with Getty Images.
Super Scout / E+ with Getty Images.

Sponsored by JPMorganChase

 Business optimism is returning for small and midsize business leaders at the start of 2026, fueling confidence and growth plans.

The 2026 Business Leaders Outlook survey, released in January by JPMorganChase reveals a turnaround from last June, when economic headwinds and uncertainty about shifting policies and tariffs caused some leaders to put their business plans on hold.

Midsize companies, who often find themselves more exposed to geopolitical shifts and policy changes, experienced a significant dip in business and economic confidence in June of 2025. As they have become more comfortable with the complexities of today’s environment, we are seeing optimism rebounding in the middle market nationwide – an encouraging sign for growth, hiring, and innovation. Small businesses, meanwhile, maintained steady optimism throughout 2025, but they aren’t shielded from domestic concerns. Many cited inflation and wage pressures as the top challenges for 2026 and are taking steps to ensure their businesses are prepared for what’s ahead.

“Business leaders across the Pacific region continue to demonstrate a unique blend of resilience and forward-thinking, even in the face of ongoing economic uncertainty,” said Brennon Crist, Managing Director and Head of the Pacific Segment, Commercial Banking, J.P. Morgan. “Their commitment to innovation and growth is evident in the way they adapt to challenges and seize new opportunities. It’s this spirit that keeps our region at the forefront of business leadership and progress. We look forward to helping our clients navigate all that’s ahead in 2026.”

Overall, both small and midsize business leaders are feeling more confident to pursue growth opportunities, embrace emerging technologies and, in some cases, forge new strategic partnerships. That bodes well for entrepreneurs in California. Here are a few other key findings from the Business Leaders Outlook about trends expected to drive activity this year:

  1. Inflation remains the top concern for small business owners. Following the 2024 U.S. presidential election, many anticipated a favorable business environment. By June 2025, however, that feeling shifted amid concerns about political dynamics, tariffs, evolving regulations and global economic headwinds.

     Going into 2026, 37% of respondents cited inflation as their top concern. Rising taxes came in second at 27% and the impact of tariffs was third at 22%. Other concerns included managing cash flow, hiring and labor costs.

  1. For middle market leaders, uncertainty remains an issue. Almost half (49%) of all midsize business leaders surveyed cited “economic uncertainty” as their top concern – even with an improved outlook from a few months ago. Revenue and sales growth was second at 33%, while tariffs and labor both were third at 31%.
  2. And tariffs are impacting businesses costs. Sixty-one percent of midsize business leaders said tariffs have had a negative impact on the cost of doing business.
  3. Despite challenges, leaders are bullish on their own enterprises. Though the overall outlook is mixed, 74% of small business owners and 71% of middle market companies are optimistic about their company’s prospects for 2026.
  4. Adaption is the theme. For small business owners surveyed across the U.S., responding to continuing pressures is important in 2026. Building cash reserves (47%), renegotiating supplier terms (36%) and ramping up investments in marketing and technology are among the top priorities.
  5. Big plans are on the horizon. A majority midsized company leaders expect revenue growth this year, and nearly three out of five of (58%) plan to introduce new products or services in the coming year, while 53% look to expand into new domestic and/or international markets. Forty-nine percentsay they’re pursuing strategic partnerships or investments.

 The bottom line

Rebounding optimism among U.S. business leaders at the start of the year is setting the stage for an active 2026. With business leaders looking to implement ambitious growth plans that position themselves for the future, momentum in California could be beneficial for leaders looking to launch, grow or scale their business this year.

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#NNPA BlackPress

COMMENTARY: The National Protest Must Be Accompanied with Our Votes

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

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Dr. John E. Warren Publisher, San Diego Voice & Viewpoint
Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper. File photo..

By  Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper

As thousands of Americans march every week in cities across this great nation, it must be remembered that the protest without the vote is of no concern to Donald Trump and his administration.

In every city, there is a personal connection to the U.S. Congress. In too many cases, the member of Congress representing the people of that city and the congressional district in which it sits, is a Republican. It is the Republicans who are giving silent support to the destructive actions of those persons like the U.S. Attorney General, the Director of Homeland Security, and the National Intelligence Director, who are carrying out the revenge campaign of the President rather than upholding the oath of office each of them took “to Defend The Constitution of the United States.”

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

In California, the primary comes in June 2026. The congressional races must be a priority just as much as the local election of people has been so important in keeping ICE from acquiring facilities to build more prisons around the country.

“We the People” are winning this battle, even though it might not look like it. Each of us must get involved now, right where we are.

In this Black History month, it is important to remember that all we have accomplished in this nation has been “in spite of” and not “because of.” Frederick Douglas said, “Power concedes nothing without a struggle.”

Today, the struggle is to maintain our very institutions and history. Our strength in this struggle rests in our “collectiveness.” Our newspapers and journalists are at the greatest risk. We must not personally add to the attack by ignoring those who have been our very foundation, our Black press.

Are you spending your dollars this Black History Month with those who salute and honor contributions by supporting those who tell our stories? Remember that silence is the same as consent and support for the opposition. Where do you stand and where will your dollars go?

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Activism

Post Newspaper Invites NNPA to Join Nationwide Probate Reform Initiative

The Post’s Probate Reform Group meets the first Thursday of every month via Zoom and invites the public to attend.  The Post is making the initiative national and will submit information from its monthly meeting to the NNPA to educate, advocate, and inform its readers.

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iStock.
iStock.

By Tanya Dennis

The National Newspaper Publishers Association (NNPA) represents the Black press with over 200 newspapers nationwide.

Last night the Post announced that it is actively recruiting the Black press to inform the public that there is a probate “five-alarm fire” occurring in Black communities and invited every Black newspaper starting from the Birmingham Times in Alabama to the Milwaukee Times Weekly in Wisconsin, to join the Post in our “Year of Action” for probate reform.

The Post’s Probate Reform Group meets the first Thursday of every month via Zoom and invites the public to attend.  The Post is making the initiative national and will submit information from its monthly meeting to the NNPA to educate, advocate, and inform its readers.

Reporter Tanya Dennis says, “The adage that ‘When America catches a cold, Black folks catch the flu” is too true in practice; that’s why we’re engaging the Black Press to not only warn, but educate the Black community regarding the criminal actions we see in probate court: Thousands are losing generational wealth to strangers. It’s a travesty that happens daily.”

Venus Gist, a co-host of the reform group, states, “ Unfortunately, people are their own worst enemy when it comes to speaking with loved ones regarding their demise. It’s an uncomfortable subject that most avoid, but they do so at their peril. The courts rely on dissention between family members, so I encourage not only a will and trust [be created] but also videotape the reading of your documents so you can show you’re of sound mind.”

In better times, drafting a will was enough; then a trust was an added requirement to ‘iron-clad’ documents and to assure easy transference of wealth.

No longer.

As the courts became underfunded in the last 20 years, predatory behavior emerged to the extent that criminality is now occurring at alarming rates with no oversight, with courts isolating the conserved, and, I’ve  heard, many times killing conservatees for profit. Plundering the assets of estates until beneficiaries are penniless is also common.”

Post Newspaper Publisher Paul Cobb says, “The simple solution is to avoid probate at all costs.  If beneficiaries can’t agree, hire a private mediator and attorney to work things out.  The moment you walk into court, you are vulnerable to the whims of the court.  Your will and trust mean nothing.”

Zakiya Jendayi, a co-host of the Probate Reform Group and a victim herself, says, “In my case, the will and trust were clear that I am the beneficiary of the estate, but the opposing attorney said I used undue influence to make myself beneficiary. He said that without proof, and the judge upheld the attorney’s baseless assertion.  In court, the will and trust is easily discounted.”

The Black press reaches out to 47 million Black Americans with one voice.  The power of the press has never been so important as it is now in this national movement to save Black generational wealth from predatory attorneys, guardians and judges.

The next probate reform meeting is on March 5, from 7 – 9 p.m. PST.  Zoom Details:
Meeting ID: 825 0367 1750
Passcode: 475480

All are welcome.

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