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COMMENTARY: If You Don’t Want Your ‘Black Card’ Revoked, Watch What You Bring to Holiday Dinners

From Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Year’s Day, whether it’s the dining room table or the bid whist (Spades? Uno, anyone?) table, your card may be in danger.

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The ‘aunties’ playing cards. iStock photo by Andreswd.
The ‘aunties’ playing cards. iStock photo by Andreswd.

By Wanda Ravernell
Post Staff

From the fourth week of November to the first week in January, if you are of African descent, but particularly African American, certain violations of cultural etiquette will get your ‘Black card’ revoked.

From Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Year’s Day, whether it’s the dining room table or the bid whist (Spades? Uno, anyone?) table, your card may be in danger.

It could take until Super Bowl Sunday for reinstatement.

I don’t know much about the card table, but for years I was on probation by the ‘Aunties,’ the givers and takers of Black cards.

How I Got into Trouble

It was 1970-something and I was influenced by the health food movement that emerged from the hippie era. A vegetarian (which was then considered sacrilegious by most Black people I knew) prepared me a simple meal: grated cheese over steamed broccoli, lentils, and brown rice.

I introduced the broccoli dish at the Friday night supper with my aunt and grandfather. She pronounced the bright green broccoli undone, but she ate it. (I did not, of course, try brown rice on them.)

I knew that I would be allowed back in the kitchen when she attempted the dish, but the broccoli had been cooked to death. (Y’all remember when ALL vegetables, not just greens, were cooked to mush?)

My Black card, which had been revoked was then reattained because they ate what I prepared and imitated it.

Over the decades, various transgressions have become normalized. I remember when having a smoked turkey neck instead of a ham hock in collard greens was greeted with mumblings and murmurings at both the dining room and card tables. Then came vegan versions with just olive oil (What? No Crisco? No bacon, at least?) and garlic. And now my husband stir fries his collards in a wok.

But No Matter How Things Have Changed…

At holiday meals, there are assigned tasks. Uncle Jack chopped raw onions when needed. Uncle Buddy made the fruit salad for Easter. My mother brought the greens in winter, macaroni salad in summer. Aunt Deanie did the macaroni and cheese, and the great aunts, my deceased grandmother’s sisters, oversaw the preparation of the roast beef, turkey, and ham. My father, if he were present, did the carving.

These designations/assignments were binding agreements that could stand up in a court of law. Do not violate the law of assignments by bringing some other version of a tried-and-true dish, even if you call it a new ‘cheese and noodle item’ to ‘try out.’ The auntie lawgivers know what you are trying to do. It’s called a menu coup d’état, and they are not having it.

The time for experiments is in your own home: your spouse and kids are the Guinea pigs.

My mother’s variation of a classic that I detested from that Sunday to the present was adding crushed pineapple to mashed sweet potatoes. A relative stops by, tries it, and then it can be introduced as an add-on to the standard holiday menu.

My Aunt Vivian’s concoctions from Good Housekeeping or Ladies’ Home Journal magazine also made it to the Black people’s tables all over the country in the form of a green bean casserole.

What Not to Do and How Did It Cross Your Mind?

People are, of all things holy, preparing mac ‘n’ cheese with so much sugar it tastes like custard with noodles in it.

Also showing up in the wrong places: raisins. Raisins have been reported in the stuffing (makes no sense unless it’s in a ‘sweet meats’ dish), in a pan of corn bread, and – heresy in the Black kitchen – the MAC ‘n’ CHEESE.

These are not mere allegations: There is photographic evidence of these Black card violations, but I don’t want to defame witnesses who remained present at the scene of the crimes.

The cook – bless his/her heart – was probably well-meaning, if ignorant. Maybe they got the idea from a social media influencer, much like Aunt Viv got recipes from magazines.

Thankfully, a long-winded blessing of the food at the table can give the wary attendee time to locate the oddity’s place on the table and plan accordingly.

But who knows? Innovation always prevails, for, as the old folks say, ‘waste makes want.’ What if the leftovers were cut up, dipped in breadcrumbs and deep fried? The next day, that dish might make it to the TV tray by the card table.

An older cousin – on her way to being an Auntie – in her bonnet, leggings, T-shirt, and bunny slippers and too tired to object, might try it and like it….

And if she ‘rubs your head’ after eating it, the new dish might be a winner and (Whew!) everybody, thanks God, keeps their Black cards.

Until the next time.

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Activism

Building Bridges of Support: How AAPI Equity Alliance Is Strengthening California’s Anti-Hate Network

In May 2022, Patricia Roque said she and her parents were attacked after a late-night stop at a fast-food drive-thru in Southern California. After hitting their car, the other driver pulled alongside them and mocked them using a racist Asian accent. Then, he threatened to kill them. The situation escalated when the man returned while the family was waiting for police and assaulted Roque’s father, fracturing his rib and choking her mother before bystanders intervened. 

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Patricia Roque (far right) pictured with her family at a Stop Asian Hate rally after her father's assault (far left). (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)
Patricia Roque (far right) pictured with her family at a Stop Asian Hate rally after her father's assault (far left). (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

By Edward Henderson

When Aurelle Garner stepped out of her car one summer evening and saw a group of youths marching down her street, her stomach dropped.

What had begun as slurs hurled at her and her transgender children at a local park had escalated to violent pounding on their front door. Garner said that, before that incident, local law enforcement had repeatedly minimized her reports of harassment.

It was not until she contacted the Legal Department at The LGBTQ Center Long Beach that her family finally found help.

“I don’t know where we’d be if it weren’t for their help,” Garner, who lives in Southern California, said. “They didn’t just give legal advice. They helped us navigate a system that had otherwise dismissed us.”

Aurelle Garner, who received services from The LGBTQ Center Long Beach (Sponsored by AAPI Equity Alliance) to aid her transgender children. (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

Aurelle Garner, who received services from The LGBTQ Center Long Beach (Sponsored by AAPI Equity Alliance) to aid her transgender children. (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

That support exists because The LGBTQ Center Long Beach does not work in isolation.

The Center partners with the AAPI Equity Alliance under California’s Stop the Hate program, a statewide coalition aimed at preventing hate and supporting survivors.

As the Los Angeles County Regional Lead, AAPI Equity Alliance works with the Center and dozens of other community-based organizations to connect people to legal aid, mental health services, and support. The programs also work in tandem with CA vs Hate, the state’s anti-hate hotline and virtual reporting system that connects people across California with organizations like the LGBTQ Center Long Beach – that provide support services

Garner’s experience illustrates the kind of harm that often falls outside the narrow legal definition of a hate crime but still leaves families traumatized and unsafe. It also shows how AAPI Equity Alliance’s leadership in the Stop the Hate ecosystem translates state funding and policy into real, on-the-ground support.

Patricia Roque (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

Patricia Roque (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

In May 2022, Patricia Roque said she and her parents were attacked after a late-night stop at a fast-food drive-thru in Southern California. After hitting their car, the other driver pulled alongside them and mocked them using a racist Asian accent. Then, he threatened to kill them. The situation escalated when the man returned while the family was waiting for police and assaulted Roque’s father, fracturing his rib and choking her mother before bystanders intervened.

“The police arrived long after it was over,” Roque told California Black Media (CBM). “By then, the damage was already done.”

The following day, Roque’s family was connected to the Filipino Migrant Center (FMC), a community-based organization that has received Stop the Hate funding and works within the broader AAPI Equity Alliance network. FMC provided immediate support — helping the family navigate legal options, organizing emergency financial assistance to cover medical bills and missed work, and offering emotional and community care while the criminal case unfolded.

“But the process is long and complicated. When you need help right away, that delay is a huge barrier. FMC was there immediately,”Rogue said.

The criminal case did not result in the accountability the family hoped for. But Roque said the support she received transformed her relationship to her community and to advocacy.

“Before this, I wasn’t involved in organizing at all,” she said. “Through this process, I realized my voice mattered. FMC helped turn something traumatic into a way to support others and push for change.”

Stories like Garner’s and Roque’s are part of a much larger reckoning that began at the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, when Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders across the country experienced a surge in harassment, discrimination, and violence fueled by racist rhetoric.

Filipino Migrant Center stands in solidarity against Anti-Asian Violence (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

Filipino Migrant Center stands in solidarity against Anti-Asian Violence (Courtesy of AAPI Equity Alliance)

In response, AAPI Equity Alliance partnered with San Francisco’s Chinese for Affirmative Action and the Asian American Studies Department at San Francisco State University to launch Stop AAPI Hate in March 2020. Since then, the project has collected more than 9,000 reports nationwide documenting incidents ranging from verbal harassment and workplace discrimination to physical assault and child bullying.

“People tend to think about hate only when it turns violent,” said Kiran Bhalla of AAPI Equity Alliance. “But there are everyday acts of discrimination that people endure constantly. Without some kind of recourse, that harm just keeps going.”

The data helped spur unprecedented action in California. In 2021, the State Legislature passed the $165.5 million Asian Pacific Islander Equity Budget, signed by Gov. Gavin Newsom. Of that total, $110 million was dedicated to victim services, education, and outreach. In August 2023, California invested an additional $40 million to expand California’s Stop the Hate program to serve a broader range of communities affected by hate and discrimination.

Today, the program supports roughly 100 nonprofit organizations statewide. As Los Angeles County Regional Lead, AAPI Equity Alliance coordinates grantees, facilitates cross-community collaboration, and helps ensure services reach those most impacted.

A recently released survey estimated that approximately 3.1 million Californians directly experienced hate, with Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islanders, Black or African Americans, and other communities of color, including Asian Americans, among those most likely to experience hate.

Black Californians, however, remain the most targeted group when it comes to reported hate crimes.

Nearly 48% of Asian American and Pacific Islander adults in California reported experiencing a hate incident in 2024, according to Stop AAPI Hate research. Most incidents were not criminal, leaving survivors with little recourse through the legal system.

That gap is precisely where AAPI Equity Alliance and its partners focus their work. The Stop the Hate framework prioritizes non-carceral responses, recognizing that policing alone often fails survivors and can further harm Black, brown, and immigrant communities.

Instead, the work centers on data and research, policy advocacy, community care, and public education. Through school-based programs, legal advocacy, emergency assistance, and survivor-centered services, the network aims to interrupt cycles of harm before they escalate.

For survivors like Garner and Roque, that support has made the difference between enduring trauma in silence and finding a path toward healing and collective power.

“When people experience hate, there’s often a profound sense of isolation,” Bhalla said. “This work helps people get back to school, back to work, back to their lives. It reminds them they’re not alone.”

Get Support After Hate:

California vs Hate is a non-emergency, multilingual hotline and online portal offering confidential support for hate crimes and incidents. Victims and witnesses can get help anonymously by calling 833-8-NO-HATE (833-866-4283), Monday to Friday, 9 a.m.–6 p.m. PT, or online at any time. Anonymous. Confidential. No Police. No ICE.This story was produced in partnership with CA vs Hate. Join them for the first-ever CA Civil Rights Summit on May 11, 2026. More information at www.cavshate.org/summit.

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Advice

Financial Wellness and Mental Health: Managing Money Stress in College 

While everyone’s financial situation is unique, several common sources of stress have the potential to strain your financial health. These include financial and economic uncertainty, existing debts, unexpected expenses, and mental or physical health changes. Financial stress may differ from situation to situation, but understanding the factors contributing to yours may help you begin to craft a plan for your unique circumstances. 

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Sponsored by JPMorganChase

As a college student, managing financial responsibilities can be stressful.

If you’ve found yourself staying up late thinking about your finances or just feeling anxious overall about your financial future, you’re not alone. In one survey, 78% of college students who reported financial stress had negative impacts on their mental health, and 59% considered dropping out. While finances can impact overall stress, taking steps to manage your finances can support your mental, emotional and physical well-being.

When it comes to money, the sources of stress may look different for each student, but identifying the underlying causes and setting goals accordingly may help you feel more confident about your financial future.

Consider these strategies to help improve your financial wellness and reduce stress.

Understand what causes financial stress

While everyone’s financial situation is unique, several common sources of stress have the potential to strain your financial health. These include financial and economic uncertainty, existing debts, unexpected expenses, and mental or physical health changes. Financial stress may differ from situation to situation, but understanding the factors contributing to yours may help you begin to craft a plan for your unique circumstances.

2. Determine your financial priorities

Start by reflecting on your financial priorities. For students this often includes paying for school or paying off student loans, studying abroad, saving for spring break, building an emergency fund, paying down credit card debt or buying a car. Name the milestones that are most important to you, and plan accordingly.

3. Create a plan and stick to it

While setting actionable goals starts you on the journey to better financial health, it’s essential to craft a plan to follow through. Identifying and committing to a savings plan may give you a greater sense of control over your finances, which may help reduce your stress. Creating and sticking to a budget allows you to better track where your money is going so you may spend less and save more.

4. Pay down debt

Many students have some form of debt and want to make progress toward reducing their debt obligations. One option is the debt avalanche method, which focuses on paying off your debt with the highest interest rate first, then moving on to the debt with the next-highest interest rate. Another is the debt snowball method, which builds momentum by paying off your smallest debt balance, and then working your way up to the largest amounts.

5. Build your financial resilience

Some financial stress may be inevitable, but building financial resilience may allow you to overcome obstacles more easily. The more you learn about managing your money, for instance, the more prepared you’ll feel if the unexpected happens. Growing your emergency savings also may increase resilience since you’ll be more financially prepared to cover unexpected expenses or pay your living expenses.

6. Seek help and support 

Many colleges have resources to help students experiencing financial stress, like financial literacy courses or funds that provide some assistance for students in need. Talk to your admissions counselor or advisor about your concerns, and they can direct you to sources of support. Your school’s counseling center can also be a great resource for mental health assistance if you’re struggling with financial stress.

The bottom line

Financial stress can affect college students’ health and wellbeing, but it doesn’t have to derail your dreams. Setting smart financial goals and developing simple plans to achieve them may help ease your stress. Revisit and adjust your plan as needed to ensure it continues to work for you, and seek additional support on campus as needed to help keep you on track.

 JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A. Member FDIC

© 2026 JPMorgan Chase & Co.

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Advice

Women & Wealth: Tips for Navigating Your Lifelong Financial Journey

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Sponsored by J.P. Morgan Wealth Management

We are in the midst of a seismic shift in wealth. This phenomenon, often referred to as the “Great Wealth Transfer,” describes the unprecedented movement of assets from the Baby Boomer generation to their heirs – an estimated $105 trillion by 2048. And women are poised to inherit most of this.

J.P. Morgan Wealth Management’s 2025 Investor Study found that women are not only set to receive significant wealth – they’re actively working to build it on their own. Ninety-three percent of women surveyed who are expecting an inheritance aren’t relying on it to reach their goals.

Here are a few tips for women to consider in their wealth-building journey:

Create a financial roadmap

A detailed, well thought out plan is important. J.P. Morgan’s study found that 90% of those surveyed with a plan feel confident about reaching their financial goals, compared to 49% without one.

Your plan should reflect your unique goals, priorities and circumstances. Consider your investment horizon and risk tolerance, and remember to revisit your plan regularly as life evolves.

Are you saving up for goals like buying a house, sending your kids off to college or retiring early? Where do you want to be in the next five, ten or twenty years? Everyone’s financial situation is unique, so it’s important to think about these questions and build a plan that is unique to your life.

Women tend to live longer than men on average. Many take career breaks or care for family members, which can influence long-term planning. It’s important to adjust your strategy with these factors in mind.

Where to start with investing

Don’t let misconceptions hold you back. Starting to invest doesn’t require a large sum, and beginning early can be beneficial. The earlier you start, the more time your money has to potentially grow over the years. Understand your overall financial situation, set clear goals and develop a long-term plan.

It’s important to also make sure you’re covered for unexpected expenses that come up before you start to invest. Build up a cash emergency fund, typically enough to cover three to six months of expenses, and pay down any high-interest debt.

Taking charge of your finances

The good news is that women are taking charge of their finances. J.P. Morgan’s research found that 75% of women respondents make financial decisions with their partner or take the lead themselves. For those who have a spouse or partner, it’s important for each person in the relationship to play an active role in the process.

Building wealth can be empowering for many women. The same survey found that 73% of women respondents said money gives them “security,” while 64% of Gen Z and Millennial women associated it with “freedom.”

The power of having a team

Some people find it helpful to work with a financial advisor, so you don’t have to tackle things alone. An advisor can help you craft a plan tailored to your needs and keep you on track throughout your lifelong financial journey. If you expect to receive an inheritance, you should also consult with estate planning and tax professionals.

No matter where you are on your wealth-building path, education is key. It’s so important to be an informed investor, and there are plenty of resources out there to help. You can find a library of free educational resources at chase.com/theknow.

As the landscape of wealth continues to evolve, women have a unique opportunity to shape their financial futures and those of generations to come. By staying informed and planning ahead, women have the tools to help them confidently navigate the Great Wealth Transfer and set themselves up for financial freedom.

The views, opinions, estimates and strategies expressed herein constitutes the author’s judgment based on current market conditions and are subject to change without notice, and may differ from those expressed by other areas of J.P. Morgan. This information in no way constitutes J.P. Morgan Research and should not be treated as such. You should carefully consider your needs and objectives before making any decisions. For additional guidance on how this information should be applied to your situation, you should consult your advisor.  

JPMorgan Chase & Co., its affiliates, and employees do not provide tax, legal or accounting advice. You should consult your own tax, legal and accounting advisors before engaging in any financial transaction.  

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