Community

Manhood conference focuses on mentors, power of forgiveness

WAVE NEWSPAPERS — The critical need for male mentors, the importance and power of forgiveness and how to heal from violence and sexual abuse were just a few of the topics discussed April 27 during the third annual Manhood Conference held by the nonprofit Positive Results Corporation. “Our goal is to engage men and boys to increase awareness of dating, domestic violence and sexual assault while being proactive in ways to prevent it,” said Kandee Lewis, executive director of the organization that sponsored the conference at the Douglas F. Dollarhide Community Center.

Published

7 years ago

May 13, 2019

Oakland Post

By Shirley Hawkins

COMPTON — The critical need for male mentors, the importance and power of forgiveness and how to heal from violence and sexual abuse were just a few of the topics discussed April 27 during the third annual Manhood Conference held by the nonprofit Positive Results Corporation.

“Our goal is to engage men and boys to increase awareness of dating, domestic violence and sexual assault while being proactive in ways to prevent it,” said Kandee Lewis, executive director of the organization that sponsored the conference at the Douglas F. Dollarhide Community Center.

Boys and young men from the ages of 10 to 24 gathered for a day of talking, listening and healing.

“Big” John Harriell, the keynote speaker and the diversity manager and superintendent for Morrow Meadows, an electrical and data communications contractor, emphasized the importance of fathers. Harriell said that many boys lack a father figure to look up to.

“The absence of a father in the home can be detrimental to a young man or a woman,” he said. “Without that guidance, the children could do things that are counterproductive to themselves, their family and the community.”

Harriell, who grew up in a home filled with domestic violence, said he went down the wrong path as a youth. It was only after he did a stint in prison that he was mentored by other inmates — “father figures” who taught him how to be a provider, protector and leader.

On a Consent, Abuse and Other Conversations panel, featured speakers included community advocate Dustin Baker;Harriell, and Terry Boykins, CEO of Street Positive, a company that assists youth impacted by adverse childhood experiences. Donta Morrison, program manager at APLA Health, served as the moderator.

“How many of you young men have had a conversation about sex?’ Morrison asked the audience. Only a handful of young men raised their hands.

The panelists warned that young men who are not knowledgeable about sex could contract sexually transmitted diseases or be faced with an unwanted pregnancy.

“Please have that conversation with your parents or guardian,” Morrison urged.

Sexual abuse was also a topic of conversation.

“An adult engaging in sexual activities with a child is wrong and needs to be held accountable,” said Boykins, who added that sexual consent should occur between two adults, not with children.

Baker warned youths about predators.

“There are a lot of men who get molested by women like the babysitter,” Baker said. “Or teen boys who are seduced into sexual activity by their teachers.”

Baker shared his own experience.

“I was 15 and I was secretly struggling with my sexuality,” he said. “One day, this adult who was 30 years old and a mentor of mine leaned over and kissed me. I thought, ‘I was dirty, I was wrong.’ I was confused because my sexual identity was still being developed.”

He said he was coerced into embarking into a sexual relationship with the mentor.

“I wanted to instantly go back to being a teen, but I couldn’t,” Baker said.

Morrison confessed that he was also sexually molested at the age of 8.

“I told my father, but he called me a liar,” said Morrison, who was traumatized by the incident. “I didn’t tell anyone else about the abuse until I was 29 years old.”

Morrison added that every day, he tests young men at APLA who are stunned to find out that they are HIV-positive because they didn’t practice safe sex.

A young man raised his hand and asked, “If we’re in school and the principal touches us in a strange way, can they go to jail?”

“That’s a very good question,” said Boykins, who quietly passed the boy’s confession on to probation officers listening in the room.“Young people, if someone is touching you inappropriately, tell an adult you trust. When someone is a predator, you are probably not the first victim he has done it to.”

“Our culture says, ‘Don’t snitch,’” Baker said. “But you have to tell someone if you’ve been sexually molested because the trauma will affect you well into your 30s and 40s.”

“Remember, ‘if someone approaches you sexually, tell them ‘no’ means ‘no,” Harriell said.

The Importance of Mentorship featured Arturo Flores from the Big House,Dillon Iwo, senior field representative for U.S. Rep. Karen Bass; and Torrence Brannon Reese, CEO of F.A.M.L.I., a mentoring program for at-risk youth. The panel was moderated by Los Angeles County Fire Capt. Brent Burton.

“Where can a young person find someone to help them grow and develop?” Burton asked.

“A mentor can be anyone who can provide a level of guidance for you,” Iwo said. “Mentors can be people we aspire to be like in various aspects of our lives.”

“You can find mentors at the Boys and Girls Club or at church,” Flores said.

“It’s not hard to find people for inspiration,” said Flores. “Be tech savvy. You can find or read about mentors on Google, Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat.”

Reese added that youths can also find mentors in books.

“Books saved my life,” he said. “My mother gave me ‘The Autobiography of Malcolm X’ when I was 10 years old. He and Muhammad Ali became my mentors.”

“If you know someone you admire, be confident enough in yourself to ask them, ‘How do I make it out here?’” Iwo said. “Your mentor could be someone you are connected to spiritually or even in a book.”

“Be the best that you can be and you will attract mentors,” Reese said.

During a break, the room turned lively as the men showed the youths how to properly tie a tie — considered a definitive rite of manhood.

The third panel, Healing and Forgiveness, featured speakers Shontez Williams of Back to the Basics, gang interventionist Ben “Taco” Owens and pastor of Hope in Christ Community Church Ed Robinson.

“I am a survivor,” said Williams, who spent 17 years in prison. “I have to live on for my daughter who was killed by another female. My friends were upset. They told me, ‘Man, somebody should have her killed.’

“But I made calls from prison and told my crew not to touch the young lady or her family,” Williams said. “My healing and forgiveness came when I forgave.”

“My stepfather used to beat my mother,” said Ben Owens III, who was angered by the abuse and joined a gang at an early age. “When I got out of Los Angeles County Jail at 18, I asked myself, ‘Where was my real father when I was going through these challenges?’”

Owens tracked down his father in Alabama and found out that he was mentally disabled.

“I was holding a grudge against him for years that he didn’t have any control over,” Owens said. “I forgave him. That forgiveness changed my life.”

Robinson said that he also grew up in a home filled with domestic violence.

“My father was an alcoholic and he beat my mother. One day he approached her with a butcher knife. But at 13, I was an amateur boxer and I was ready to fight him. When he tried to beat my mother, I said, ‘No, not today.’” He stopped in his tracks.

“I forgave my father,” said Robinson, who forged a strong bond with his dad during the last three years of his life. “Not forgiving someone will destroy you physically,” Robinson said as he poured a sack of rocks on the table.

“We have a choice to release that bondage, pain and hurt or be weighed down with hate and anger for the rest of our lives,” he said, pointing to the rocks.

Sociologist Tre Watkins concluded the conference by holding a “healing circle.”

“Do your best every single day,” he urged the youths. “Repeat these words: ‘I am strong, I am powerful, I am intelligent and I am worthy.’”

“We need men to set examples for us,” said Abel, who stood up to speak. “If you see us young people going down the wrong path, show us how to go down the right one.”

This article originally appeared in the Wave Newspapers.

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Bling It On: Holiday Lights Brighten Dark Nights All Around the Bay

On the block where I grew up in the 1960s, it was an unwritten agreement among the owners of those row homes to put up holiday lights: around the front window and door, along the porch banister, etc. Some put the Christmas tree in the window, and you could see it through the open slats of the blinds.

Published

3 hours ago

December 21, 2025

Oakland Post

Christmas lights on a house near the writer’s residence in Oakland. Photo by Joseph Shangosola.

By Wanda Ravernell

I have always liked Christmas lights.

From my desk at my front window, I feel a quiet joy when the lights on the house across the street come on just as night falls.

My father, the renegade of the block, made no effort with lights, so my mother hung a wreath with two bells in the window. Just enough to let you know someone was at home.

Two doors down was a different story. Mr. King, the overachiever of the block, went all out for Christmas: The tree in the window, the lights along the roof and a Santa on his sleigh on the porch roof.

There are a few ‘Mr. Kings’ in my neighborhood.

In particular is the gentleman down the street. For Halloween, they erected a 10-foot skeleton in the yard, placed ‘shrunken heads’ on fence poles, pumpkins on steps and swooping bat wings from the porch roof. They have not held back for Christmas.

The skeleton stayed up this year, this time swathed in lights, as is every other inch of the house front. It is a light show that rivals the one in the old Wanamaker’s department store in Philadelphia.

I would hate to see their light bill…

As the shortest day of the year approaches, make Mr. King’s spirit happy and get out and see the lights in your own neighborhood, shopping plazas and merchant areas.

Here are some places recommended by 510 Families and Johnny FunCheap.

Oakland

Oakland’s Temple Hill Holiday Lights and Gardens is the place to go for a drive-by or a leisurely stroll for a religious holiday experience. Wear a jacket, because it’s chilly outside the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, at 4220 Lincoln Ave., particularly after dark. The gardens are open all day from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. with the lights on from dusk until closing.

Alameda

Just across the High Street Bridge from Oakland, you’ll find Christmas Tree Lane in Alameda.

On Thompson Avenue between High Street and Fernside drive, displays range from classic trees and blow-ups to a comedic response to the film “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Lights turn on at dusk and can be seen through the first week in January.

Berkeley

The Fourth Street business district from University Avenue to Virginia Street in Berkeley comes alive with lights beginning at 5 p.m. through Jan. 1, 2026.

There’s also a display at one house at 928 Arlington St., and, for children, the Tilden Park Carousel Winter Wonderland runs through Jan. 4, 2026. Closed Christmas Day. For more information and tickets, call (510) 559-1004.

Richmond

The Sundar Shadi Holiday Display, featuring a recreation of the town of Bethlehem with life-size figures, is open through Dec. 26 at 7501 Moeser Lane in El Cerrito.

Marin County

In Marin, the go-to spot for ‘oohs and ahhs’ is the Holiday Light Spectacular from 4-9 p.m. through Jan. 4, 2026, at Marin Center Fairgrounds at 10 Ave of the Flags in San Rafael through Jan. 4. Displays dazzle, with lighted walkways and activities almost daily. For more info, go to: www.marincounty.gov/departments/cultural-services/department-sponsored-events/holiday-light-spectacular

The arches at Marin County Civic Center at 3501 Civic Center Dr. will also be illuminated nightly.

San Francisco

Look for light installations in Golden Gate Park, chocolate and cheer at Ghirardelli Square, and downtown, the ice rink in Union Square and the holiday tree in Civic Center Plaza are enchanting spots day and night. For neighborhoods, you can’t beat the streets in Noe Valley, Pacific Heights, and Bernal Heights. For glee and over-the-top glitz there’s the Castro, particularly at 68 Castro Street.

Livermore

The winner of the 2024 Great Light Flight award, Deacon Dave has set up his display with a group of creative volunteers at 352 Hillcrest Avenue since 1982. See it through Jan. 1, 2026. For more info, go to https://www.casadelpomba.com

Fremont

Crippsmas Place is a community of over 90 decorated homes with candy canes passed out nightly through Dec. 31. A tradition since 1967, the event features visits by Mr. and Mrs. Claus on Dec. 18 and Dec. 23 and entertainment by the Tri-M Honor Society at 6 p.m. on Dec. 22. Chrippsmas Place is located on: Cripps Place, Asquith Place, Nicolet Court, Wellington Place, Perkins Street, and the stretch of Nicolet Avenue between Gibraltar Drive and Perkins Street.

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Activism

Lu Lu’s House is Not Just Toying Around with the Community

Wilson and Lambert will be partnering with Mayor Barbara Lee on a toy giveaway on Dec. 20. Young people, like Dremont Wilkes, age 15, will help give away toys and encourage young people to stay in school and out of trouble. Wilkes wants to go to college and become a specialist in financial aid. Sports agent Aaron Goodwin has committed to giving all eight young people from Lu Lu’s House a fully paid free ride to college, provided they keep a 3.0 grade point average and continue the program. Lu Lu’s House is not toying around.

Published

16 hours ago

December 20, 2025

Oakland Post

Tania Fuller Bryant, Zirl Wilson, Dremont Wilkes, Tracy Lambert and Dr. Geoffrey Watson. Courtesy Oakland Private Industry

Special to the Post

Lu Lu’s House is a 501c3 organization based in Oakland, founded by Mr. Zirl Wilson and Mr. Tracy Lambert, both previously incarcerated. After their release from jail, they wanted to change things for the better in the community — and wow, have they done that!

The duo developed housing for previously incarcerated people, calling it “Lu Lu’s House,” after Wilson’s wonderful wife. At a time when many young people were robbing, looting, and involved in shootings, Wilson and Lambert took it upon themselves to risk their lives to engage young gang members and teach them about nonviolence, safety, cleanliness, business, education, and the importance of health and longevity.

Lambert sold hats and T-shirts at the Eastmont Mall and was visited by his friend Wilson. At the mall, they witnessed gangs of young people running into the stores, stealing whatever they could get their hands on and then rushing out. Wilson tried to stop them after numerous robberies and finally called the police, who Wilson said, “did not respond.” Having been incarcerated previously, they realized that if the young people were allowed to continue to rob the stores, they could receive multiple criminal counts, which would take their case from misdemeanors to felonies, resulting in incarceration.

Lu Lu’s House traveled to Los Angeles and obtained more than 500 toys
for a Dec. 20 giveaway in partnership with Oakland Mayor Barbara
Lee. Courtesy Oakland Private Industry,

Wilson took it upon himself to follow the young people home and when he arrived at their subsidized homes, he realized the importance of trying to save the young people from violence, drug addiction, lack of self-worth, and incarceration — as well as their families from losing subsidized housing. Lambert and Wilson explained to the young men and women, ages 13-17, that there were positive options which might allow them to make money legally and stay out of jail. Wilson and Lambert decided to teach them how to wash cars and they opened a car wash in East Oakland. Oakland’s Initiative, “Keep the town clean,” involved the young people from Lu Lu’s House participating in more than eight cleanup sessions throughout Oakland. To assist with their infrastructure, Lu Lu’s House has partnered with Oakland’s Private Industry Council.

For the Christmas season, Lu Lu’s House and reformed young people (who were previously robbed) will continue to give back.

Lu Lu’s House traveled to Los Angeles and obtained more than 500 toys.

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Activism

Desmond Gumbs — Visionary Founder, Mentor, and Builder of Opportunity

Gumbs’ coaching and leadership journey spans from Bishop O’Dowd High School, Oakland High School, Stellar Prep High School. Over the decades, hundreds of his students have gone on to college, earning academic and athletic scholarships and developing life skills that extend well beyond sports.

Published

16 hours ago

December 20, 2025

Oakland Post

NCAA football history was made this year when Head Coach from Mississippi Valley State, Terrell Buckley and Head Coach Desmond Gumbs both had starting kickers that were Women. This picture was taken after the game. Courtesy photo.

Special to the Post

For more than 25 years, Desmond Gumbs has been a cornerstone of Bay Area education and athletics — not simply as a coach, but as a mentor, founder, and architect of opportunity. While recent media narratives have focused narrowly on challenges, they fail to capture the far more important truth: Gumbs’ life’s work has been dedicated to building pathways to college, character, and long-term success for hundreds of young people.

A Career Defined by Impact

One of his most enduring contributions is his role as founder of Stellar Prep High School, a non-traditional, mission-driven institution created to serve students who needed additional structure, belief, and opportunity. Through Stellar Prep numerous students have advanced to college — many with scholarships — demonstrating Gumbs’ deep commitment to education as the foundation for athletic and personal success.

NCAA football history was made this year when Head Coach from
Mississippi Valley State, Terrell Buckley and Head Coach Desmond
Gumbs both had starting kickers that were women. This picture was
taken after the game.

A Personal Testament to the Mission: Addison Gumbs

Perhaps no example better reflects Desmond Gumbs’ philosophy than the journey of his son, Addison Gumbs. Addison became an Army All-American, one of the highest honors in high school football — and notably, the last Army All-Americans produced by the Bay Area, alongside Najee Harris.

Both young men went on to compete at the highest levels of college football — Addison Gumbs at the University of Oklahoma, and Najee Harris at the University of Alabama — representing the Bay Area on a national level.

Building Lincoln University Athletics From the Ground Up

In 2021, Gumbs accepted one of the most difficult challenges in college athletics: launching an entire athletics department at Lincoln University in Oakland from scratch. With no established infrastructure, limited facilities, and eventually the loss of key financial aid resources, he nonetheless built opportunities where none existed.

Under his leadership, Lincoln University introduced:

Football
Men’s and Women’s Basketball
Men’s and Women’s Soccer

Operating as an independent program with no capital and no conference safety net, Gumbs was forced to innovate — finding ways to sustain teams, schedule competition, and keep student-athletes enrolled and progressing toward degrees. The work was never about comfort; it was about access.

Voices That Reflect His Impact

Desmond Gumbs’ philosophy has been consistently reflected in his own published words:

“if you have an idea, you’re 75% there the remaining 25% is actually doing it.”
“This generation doesn’t respect the title — they respect the person.”
“Greatness is a habit, not a moment.”

Former players and community members have echoed similar sentiments in public commentary, crediting Gumbs with teaching them leadership, accountability, confidence, and belief in themselves — lessons that outlast any single season.

Context Matters More Than Headlines

Recent articles critical of Lincoln University athletics focus on logistical and financial hardships while ignoring the reality of building a new program with limited resources in one of the most expensive regions in the country. Such narratives are ultimately harmful and incomplete, failing to recognize the courage it takes to create opportunity instead of walking away when conditions are difficult.

The real story is not about early struggles — it is about vision, resilience, and service.

A Legacy That Endures

From founding Stellar PREP High School, to sending hundreds of students to college, to producing elite athletes like Addison Gumbs, to launching Lincoln University athletics, Desmond Gumbs’ legacy is one of belief in young people and relentless commitment to opportunity.

His work cannot be reduced to headlines or records. It lives on in degrees earned, scholarships secured, leaders developed, and futures changed — across the Bay Area and beyond.