Crime

Young Woman Describes Growing Up with a Parent in Prison

Published

8 years ago

November 15, 2017

By Deja Osby Kassof

When I was two and a half years old, I was placed in foster care, and at age four, I was adopted. Many factors lead to my placement and subsequent adoption, but parental incarceration was the most substantial.

I was taken away while my father was in prison and my mother was mentally and physically unavailable.

For months, my father had no idea I was gone. At times, he was unable to reach my mother, so he could not be sure that I was being cared for adequately and could not make arrangements for my safety.

Teen Vogue recently published a segment on the effects of parental incarceration. In ‘What’s It’s Like to have an Incarcerated Parent,’ Soros Justice Fellow, Ebony Underwood, explains, “When you incarcerate an individual, you incarcerate their entire family, and that’s what most people don’t take into consideration.”

When my father was locked up, his entire family was affected. If my dad had been able to keep in contact with his loved ones, I would not have gone to foster care. He would have made sure that I was cared for by someone with the capacity to do so adequately.

He would not have lost contact with his only daughter for 17 years. His only daughter would not have spent 17 years wondering why her family did not want her.

She would not have been so angry, or so broken.

I’ve asked myself what would lead a family to relinquish custody of their precious child. Today, as a 20-year-old, I still struggle to understand the policies that have affected my life as a child impacted by incarceration.

As a young child, I certainly couldn’t fathom the idea that there were systems in place that would keep a child from their birth parents even if the parents fought relentlessly for them. For 17 years I looked at pictures of my older brothers, younger sister, mother, and father wondering if they were alive.

Last year, I was able to build up the courage to look for a family that I thought abandoned me. My father cried when he first laid eyes on me. My older brother has my name tattooed on his forearm.

My mother, who is serving a five-year sentence at the California Women’s Institute, screamed for several minutes straight when she first heard my voice. I was pleased to find out that they have all grown to be outstanding human beings, and it was evident that there wasn’t a day that went by in the last 17 years where they stopped loving me.

Now that I have re-connected with my family, I look forward to making memories to fill the voids in my heart. To mend the pieces that were broken, patched, and re-broken each time I wondered if the people who gave me life were still breathing.

Every Sunday I eagerly await a phone call from my mother. For 15 minutes a week, we talk about life before my placement through interruptions from a recorded voice telling us that we are being monitored. I don’t mind this disruption quite as much as the one that says my balance is low.

As soon as I can afford a “vacation” to LA from the Bay Area, I will meet my mother for the first time face to face in 17 years. I hope that I don’t travel 420 miles just to have my visit through a glass window, as many families do.

This coming January, I anticipate that I will have graduated early, with the highest honors, and overcome tremendous adversity.

Through an internship with Alameda County Children of Incarcerated Parents Partnership (ACCIPP) I have learned a lot about systems behind reunification and visitation; two areas that have impacted me tremendously.

For more about ACCIPP and its upcoming Nov. 29 summit, go to http://accipp.org/

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Oakland Post: Week of February 11 = 17, 2026

The printed Weekly Edition of the Oakland Post: Week of – February 11 – 17, 2026

Published

2 days ago

February 16, 2026

Oakland Post

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COMMENTARY: The National Protest Must Be Accompanied with Our Votes

Just as Trump is gathering election data like having the FBI take all the election data in Georgia from the 2020 election, so must we organize in preparation for the coming primary season to have the right people on ballots in each Republican district, so that we can regain control of the House of Representatives and by doing so, restore the separation of powers and balance that our democracy is being deprived of.

Published

1 week ago

February 10, 2026

Oakland Post

Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper. File photo..

By Dr. John E. Warren, Publisher San Diego Voice & Viewpoint Newspaper

As thousands of Americans march every week in cities across this great nation, it must be remembered that the protest without the vote is of no concern to Donald Trump and his administration.

In every city, there is a personal connection to the U.S. Congress. In too many cases, the member of Congress representing the people of that city and the congressional district in which it sits, is a Republican. It is the Republicans who are giving silent support to the destructive actions of those persons like the U.S. Attorney General, the Director of Homeland Security, and the National Intelligence Director, who are carrying out the revenge campaign of the President rather than upholding the oath of office each of them took “to Defend The Constitution of the United States.”

In California, the primary comes in June 2026. The congressional races must be a priority just as much as the local election of people has been so important in keeping ICE from acquiring facilities to build more prisons around the country.

“We the People” are winning this battle, even though it might not look like it. Each of us must get involved now, right where we are.

In this Black History month, it is important to remember that all we have accomplished in this nation has been “in spite of” and not “because of.” Frederick Douglas said, “Power concedes nothing without a struggle.”

Today, the struggle is to maintain our very institutions and history. Our strength in this struggle rests in our “collectiveness.” Our newspapers and journalists are at the greatest risk. We must not personally add to the attack by ignoring those who have been our very foundation, our Black press.

Are you spending your dollars this Black History Month with those who salute and honor contributions by supporting those who tell our stories? Remember that silence is the same as consent and support for the opposition. Where do you stand and where will your dollars go?

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Activism

Congresswoman Simon Votes Against Department of Homeland Security, ICE Funding

“They need accountability. Republicans already gave these agencies an unprecedented $170 billion for immigration enforcement, funding they have used to conduct raids at schools, separate families, and deploy a masked paramilitary who refuse to identify themselves on American streets. This bill gives them more funding without a single reform to stop unconstitutional, immoral abuses,” she said.

Published

1 week ago

February 10, 2026

Oakland Post

Congresswoman Lateefah Simon (D-CA-12). File photo.

By Post Staff

Congresswoman Lateefah Simon (D-CA-12) released a statement after voting against legislation to fund the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which supports Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CPB).

“Today, I voted NO on legislation to fund the Department of Homeland Security through Feb. 13, 2026.

“ICE and CBP do not need more funding to terrorize communities or kill more people,” she said in the media release.

“They need accountability. Republicans already gave these agencies an unprecedented $170 billion for immigration enforcement, funding they have used to conduct raids at schools, separate families, and deploy a masked paramilitary who refuse to identify themselves on American streets. This bill gives them more funding without a single reform to stop unconstitutional, immoral abuses,” she said.

“The American people are demanding change. Poll after poll of Americans’ opinions show overwhelming support for requiring ICE agents to wear body cameras and prohibiting them from hiding their faces during enforcement actions. This is the bare minimum transparency standard, and this funding legislation does not even meet this low bar,” Simon said.

“Republicans in Congress are not serious about reining in these lawless agencies. Their refusal to make meaningful changes to the DHS funding bill has consequences that go beyond immigration enforcement. TSA agents who keep our airports safe and FEMA workers who help our communities recover from disasters are stuck in limbo due to Republican inaction.

“The Constitution does not have an exception for immigrants. Every person on American soil has rights, and federal agencies must respect them. The East Bay has made clear at the Alameda County and city level that we will hold the line against a violent ICE force and support our immigrant communities – I will continue to hold the line and our values with my votes in Congress.”