You Had Me At Hello: Love Lessons from Barack and Michelle Obama
BIRMINGHAM TIMES — Barack has shared that he relied heavily on Michelle’s judgment and honesty throughout his political career, calling her his closest adviser and toughest critic. Michelle was a strong support system for Barack, even in his earliest political campaigns. During his Illinois State Senate campaigns, she was a sounding board and trusted adviser, all while maintaining her own demanding career and family responsibilities.
Former first lady Michelle Obama delivered a loving and heartfelt tribute to her husband on Thursday at the Obama Presidential Center’s grand opening ceremony in Chicago. Her words brought President Barack Obama to tears.
“You told me all those years ago that you couldn’t promise me the world, but you could promise me an interesting life,” she said, “and of course you outdid yourself and managed to give me both.”
Though the lives of Barack and Michelle Obama have been anything but ordinary, their love story teaches everyday lessons valuable to any couple.
How Barack Met Michelle
Long before he became president, Barack Obama was simply a young lawyer trying to convince a smart, ambitious woman named Michelle Robinson to go on a date. The two met in 1989 at the Chicago law firm Sidley & Austin. Michelle was assigned to mentor Barack, who was a summer associate while attending Harvard Law School. Because she was his adviser at the firm, Michelle initially resisted Barack’s attempts to date her. But eventually he won her over. For their first date, the couple had lunch at the Art Institute of Chicago and ice cream at a nearby Baskin-Robbins. They walked through the city and later went to see Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing.
Two years after their first date, they got engaged at Gordon’s restaurant in Chicago just after Barack passed the bar exam.
Barack and Michelle married on Oct. 3, 1992. Their reception was held at the South Shore Cultural Center. For their honeymoon, they took a trip along the California coast.
They welcomed their first child, Malia, on July 4, 1998. Their second daughter, Sasha, was born on July 10, 2001.
A Strong Support System
Barack has shared that he relied heavily on Michelle’s judgment and honesty throughout his political career, calling her his closest adviser and toughest critic. Michelle was a strong support system for Barack, even in his earliest political campaigns. During his Illinois State Senate campaigns, she was a sounding board and trusted adviser, all while maintaining her own demanding career and family responsibilities.
During Barack’s 2008 Presidential Campaign, Michelle traveled extensively, speaking at rallies and campaign events nationwide. Her stories about their family life helped to endear Barack to voters.
During his presidency, Michelle became one of the administration’s most popular public figures. Through initiatives such as Let’s Move!, support for military families, and higher education programs, she helped advance the administration’s goals and priorities.
In 2011, in an interview on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Barack credited Michelle for his success.
“Obviously, I couldn’t have done anything that I’ve done without Michelle,” he told Oprah Winfrey. “Not only has she been a great first lady, she is just my rock. I count on her in so many ways every single day.”
During Barrack Obama’s presidency, Michelle Obama became one of the administration’s most popular public figures. (Obama.org)
Friends First
In that same interview, Michelle stressed the importance of a partnership built on mutual respect.
“It has to be a true partnership, and you have to really, really like and respect the person you’re married to, because it is a hard road.”
Both Barack and Michelle have spoken about the importance of friendship in marriage. “For the past 25 years, you’ve not only been my wife and the mother of my children, you’ve been my best friend,” President Obama said during his farewell speech on Jan. 10, 2017 at McCormick Place convention center in Chicago.
Being friends also means having fun and laughing together.
“In our house, we don’t take ourselves too seriously, and laughter is the best form of unity, I think, in a marriage,” Michelle said in an interview on “Live! With Regis and Kelly” in 2011.
Navigating Tough Times
While many see the Obamas as #couplegoals, they’ve been open about the hardships they’ve faced over the years and honest about relying on counseling and communication to get through tough times.
In 2022, on the Revolt x Michelle Obama special hosted by Angie Martinez, Michelle spoke candidly about the frustrations of early marriage, especially just after their children were born.
“There were 10 years where I couldn’t stand my husband,” she said. “And guess when it happened? When those kids were little.”
She said things improved when she realized “marriage isn’t 50-50, ever.”
In 2024, while speaking with host Jay Shetty on the On Purpose podcast, Michelle said she wanted to normalize discussing the “natural, understandable rough patches” in marriages that make people “want to quit.”
Learning to forge ahead in the face of challenges is what leads to long-lasting love, she said.
“You don’t quit on it, you learn from it,” Michelle said. “That’s what sustaining a relationship is — it’s the choice to figure it out, not quit, when it gets hard.”
Sources: Elle.com and Obama.org
Built to Last: Share Your Love Story
What does lasting love look like? Maybe it’s handwritten notes tucked into lunch bags, dancing in the kitchen after a long day, praying together through hard seasons, or simply choosing each other again and again over the years. Whatever your story looks like, we want to hear it.
For years, the Birmingham Times has celebrated local couples and the love that binds them through our popular “You Had Me at Hello” column. Now, we’re looking for more inspiring stories of commitment, partnership, laughter, resilience, and romance.
Have you been married seven years or longer? Tell us the secret to your enduring love. No relationship is ordinary, and every couple has a story worth sharing. Your journey could encourage newlyweds, inspire singles, or remind readers that lasting love still exists.
Whether your love story began with a blind date, a high school romance, a chance encounter, or a friendship that grew into forever, we’d love to feature it.
To be considered for a future “You Had Me at Hello” column or to nominate a couple you admire, email editor@birminghamtimes.com with the couple’s names, contact information, and the number of years they’ve been married.
BLACKPRESSUSA NEWSWIRE — I implore my fellow faith leaders to use these tools. Start now and use them with wisdom. We count on each and every one of you to make sure our communities help write the next chapter of this story. This rapid change is not as unfamiliar as it may sound. My first understanding of AI came from using a calculator for the first time in grade school. We did not call it AI, but it was a tool that helped me work through mathematical equations hours more efficiently.
For generations, the Black church has stood strong in our communities through every historical change this country has experienced. During the civil rights movement and in recent times, faith leaders have helped uplift Black sanctuaries to register voters, keep food pantries open for people in need, and sit with families in hospital rooms in their most desperate moments. When our people faced new trials, they could always look to our faith leaders and the church to lean in to help us be included in these transformative changes.
Artificial intelligence is the latest revolutionary change to impact our society, and much like other transformations before us, underserved communities often get left behind.
I was recently featured in a report entitled “Faith, Community & AI” and it found that people send ChatGPT more than 70 million messages a week about religion. Nearly 22 million involve studying sacred texts, and 16 million ask about religious practices and holy days. Our members make up part of those numbers. They bring questions of faith to these tools every day.
Pastors have noticed, and according to a September 2025 Lifeway Research survey of 1,003 Protestant pastors, 42 percent said they use or experiment with AI in ministry. I count myself among them.
I write my sermons by hand, through prayer and study. When I finish a draft, I ask ChatGPT this question: “Where might this sermon become unclear or difficult to follow for someone early in their walk of faith?” It shows me gaps in my preparation, like where I incorrectly assumed everyone would know the context of who the Pharisees were. Then, change comes from my own pen, not the robot. The tool helps me reach the person in the back pew while the message still comes from me.
If I could have my wish, our whole community would take a similar posture. We must use these tools, understand them, and most importantly be present to help shape them if we want to be included in the coming change.
I implore my fellow faith leaders to use these tools. Start now and use them with wisdom. We count on each and every one of you to make sure our communities help write the next chapter of this story. This rapid change is not as unfamiliar as it may sound. My first understanding of AI came from using a calculator for the first time in grade school. We did not call it AI, but it was a tool that helped me work through mathematical equations hours more efficiently.
It starts with training; there is no involvement without understanding. Free AI trainings have begun in our churches and community centers across the nation. Every faith leader should sign up and, when possible, encourage members of your congregations to join you. By learning how to use AI, we can better understand what it can do, make up our own minds about its impact, and have a say in how it shapes our communities.”
Next, we must be at the tables where the builders of these tools make decisions. Presence is the first step toward understanding, and that gap is only bridged through a coordinated effort. How can any tool serve a community well if that community is not part of the conversation? Our traditions, needs, and concerns must be accounted for, and Black faith leaders are already making that happen. OpenAI’s recent Faith report states plainly that AI should never become an arbiter of religious truth. I fully intend to hold the company to its word, and the most effective way I can do that is from inside.
I will close with this––we must diligently protect what only the church can give. A believer in Seoul, Korea quoted in the report warned, “if you pour every struggle into a private chat, your pastor and your friends may never learn you need help.” A chatbot will not sit with a grieving family or pray with you at two in the morning. As we adopt this technology, it is up to us to ensure it keeps people connected to each other and to their church.
Rev. Dr. Adolphus Lacey is senior pastor of Bethany Baptist Church in Brooklyn, New York.
BLACKPRESSUSA NEWSWIRE — I implore my fellow faith leaders to use these tools. Start now and use them with wisdom. We count on each and every one of you to make sure our communities help write the next chapter of this story. This rapid change is not as unfamiliar as it may sound. My first understanding of AI came from using a calculator for the first time in grade school. We did not call it AI, but it was a tool that helped me work through mathematical equations hours more efficiently.
For generations, the Black church has stood strong in our communities through every historical change this country has experienced. During the civil rights movement and in recent times, faith leaders have helped uplift Black sanctuaries to register voters, keep food pantries open for people in need, and sit with families in hospital rooms in their most desperate moments. When our people faced new trials, they could always look to our faith leaders and the church to lean in to help us be included in these transformative changes.
Artificial intelligence is the latest revolutionary change to impact our society, and much like other transformations before us, underserved communities often get left behind.
I was recently featured in a report entitled “Faith, Community & AI” and it found that people send ChatGPT more than 70 million messages a week about religion. Nearly 22 million involve studying sacred texts, and 16 million ask about religious practices and holy days. Our members make up part of those numbers. They bring questions of faith to these tools every day.
Pastors have noticed, and according to a September 2025 Lifeway Research survey of 1,003 Protestant pastors, 42 percent said they use or experiment with AI in ministry. I count myself among them.
I write my sermons by hand, through prayer and study. When I finish a draft, I ask ChatGPT this question: “Where might this sermon become unclear or difficult to follow for someone early in their walk of faith?” It shows me gaps in my preparation, like where I incorrectly assumed everyone would know the context of who the Pharisees were. Then, change comes from my own pen, not the robot. The tool helps me reach the person in the back pew while the message still comes from me.
If I could have my wish, our whole community would take a similar posture. We must use these tools, understand them, and most importantly be present to help shape them if we want to be included in the coming change.
I implore my fellow faith leaders to use these tools. Start now and use them with wisdom. We count on each and every one of you to make sure our communities help write the next chapter of this story. This rapid change is not as unfamiliar as it may sound. My first understanding of AI came from using a calculator for the first time in grade school. We did not call it AI, but it was a tool that helped me work through mathematical equations hours more efficiently.
It starts with training; there is no involvement without understanding. Free AI trainings have begun in our churches and community centers across the nation. Every faith leader should sign up and, when possible, encourage members of your congregations to join you. By learning how to use AI, we can better understand what it can do, make up our own minds about its impact, and have a say in how it shapes our communities.”
Next, we must be at the tables where the builders of these tools make decisions. Presence is the first step toward understanding, and that gap is only bridged through a coordinated effort. How can any tool serve a community well if that community is not part of the conversation? Our traditions, needs, and concerns must be accounted for, and Black faith leaders are already making that happen. OpenAI’s recent Faith report states plainly that AI should never become an arbiter of religious truth. I fully intend to hold the company to its word, and the most effective way I can do that is from inside.
I will close with this––we must diligently protect what only the church can give. A believer in Seoul, Korea quoted in the report warned, “if you pour every struggle into a private chat, your pastor and your friends may never learn you need help.” A chatbot will not sit with a grieving family or pray with you at two in the morning. As we adopt this technology, it is up to us to ensure it keeps people connected to each other and to their church.
Rev. Dr. Adolphus Lacey is senior pastor of Bethany Baptist Church in Brooklyn, New York.