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COMMENTARY: Abuse Is Not Love

Domestic violence is the No. 1 violent crime in Marin. Women account for 85% of the victims of intimate partner violence, and men for 15%. Half of the men who assault their wives also assault their children. Adults in same-sex relationships suffer abuse at the same rate as heterosexual couples.

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photo from www.itv.com.
photo from www.itv.com.

By Godfrey Lee

The Mental Health Advocacy Team of First Missionary Baptist Church (FMBC), along with the Marin City Mental Health Services, and the Center for Domestic Peace, conducted a training called “Working Together to End Domestic Violence” on October 25.

Rev. Ronald Leggett, FMBC’s pastor, hosted the Zoom program.

Cynthia Williams, a domestic violence advocate for peace, and a friend of FMBC, introduced the presenter and facilitator, Meghan Kehoe, from the Center for Domestic Peace.

photo from left: Rev. Ronald Leggett, Meghan Kehoe

photo from left: Rev. Ronald Leggett, Meghan Kehoe

Kehoe says that domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior used to exert power and control over an intimate partner. The abuser may use a variety of types of abuse to make sure that they have and maintain control over their partner. These types of domestic violence include physical, emotional, economic, sexual, spiritual abuse as well as stalking and strangulation.

Domestic violence can be physical, but the greatest impact is through verbal and emotional abuse. How victims have been abused and how they feel about themselves will always be present in their mind.

Domestic violence is the No. 1 violent crime in Marin. Women account for 85% of the victims of intimate partner violence, and men for 15%. Half of the men who assault their wives also assault their children. Adults in same-sex relationships suffer abuse at the same rate as heterosexual couples.

Survivors need unconditional support from their friends. Many of those who stay in an abusive relationships have probably lost a lot of friends who love and support the victim but don’t understand the pattern of abuse, and do not understand why the survivor leaves, then returns to the abuser.

Children witness and experience the domestic violence and fear it just as much as the survivor does, if not more, and 60% of them are also victims of the physical violence as well.

The children, youth, and young adults are also being traumatized and affected by the violence. They may not know how to articulate what is happening to their family, or how to feel when their parents are hurting each another. So, talk to them and see if they want to talk to their parents or a safe person in their life.

Even if children know that they are not the cause of the violence, they still feel it in their hearts. Tell them that it is not their fault, and nothing they did caused the violence.

Young people who survive need good information, programs and services to help them find and maintain healthy relationships.

There is never a wrong time to reach out to someone who is being abused in a relationship. And you should also go with them to get help. Connect them to professionals, or a domestic violence agency. Offer them unconditional support a friend who will look out for them no matter what happens to them, what choices they make, whether or not they go back to their abuser, and be there for them in a non-judgmental way, Kehoe said.

For more information, go to centerfordomesticpeace.org. If you are in need of emergency assistance or wish to make an appointment with Center for Domestic Peace, please contact their 24-hour hotline: (English/ Spanish) 415-924-6616.

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Alameda County

Board of Supervisors Accepts Certification of Signatures, Will Schedule Recall Election May 14

The Alameda Board of Supervisors unanimously accepted the certification of the results of the valid signatures submitted for the recall of District Attorney Pamela Price on Tuesday evening. The Board will set the election date at a special meeting on May 14. Before the meeting, recall proponents and opponents held separate press conferences to plead their cases to the Board and residents of Alameda County.

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District Attorney Pamela Price ‘Protect the Win’ supporters held signs outside of the County Administration Office to ask the Board of Supervisors to not schedule a special recall election. Photo by Magaly Muñoz.
District Attorney Pamela Price ‘Protect the Win’ supporters held signs outside of the County Administration Office to ask the Board of Supervisors to not schedule a special recall election. Photo by Magaly Muñoz.

By Magaly Muñoz

The Alameda Board of Supervisors unanimously accepted the certification of the results of the valid signatures submitted for the recall of District Attorney Pamela Price on Tuesday evening. The Board will set the election date at a special meeting on May 14.

Before the meeting, recall proponents and opponents held separate press conferences to plead their cases to the Board and residents of Alameda County.

Price, who up until this point has made little public comment about the recall, held her press conference in Jack London to announce that the California Fair Political Practices Commission has opened an investigation into the finances of the Save Alameda For Everyone (SAFE) recall campaign.

The political action committee (PAC), Reviving the Bay Area, has been the largest contributor to the SAFE organization and has allegedly donated over half a million dollars to the recall efforts.

“Between September 2023 and November 2023, [Revive the Bay Area] donated approximately $578,000 to SAFE without complying with the laws that govern all political committees in California,” Price said.

Price accused the recall campaigns of using irregular signature-gathering processes, such as paying gatherers per signature, and using misleading information to get people to sign their petitions.

SAFE held their own press conference outside of the Alameda County Administration Building at 1221 Oak St. in Oakland, once again calling for the Board to certify their signatures and set a date for the recall election.

Their press conference turned contentious quickly as Price’s “Protect the Win” supporters attempted to yell over the SAFE staff and volunteers. “Stop scapegoating Price” and “Recall Price” chants went on for several moments at a time during this event.

Families of victims urged the Board to think of their loved ones whose lives are worth much more than the millions of dollars that many opponents of the recall say is too much to spend on a special election.

The Registrar of Voters (ROV) estimates the special election could cost anywhere from $15 to $20 million, an amount that is not in their budget.

The Board was presented with several options on when and how to conduct the recall election. They have to set a date no less than 88 days or more than 125 days after May 14, meaning the date could fall anywhere from late July to September.

But the County charter also states that if a general election takes place within 180 days of their scheduling deadline, the Board could choose to use the November ballot as a way to consolidate the two events.

In the event that Price is recalled, the Supervisors would appoint someone to fill the vacancy, though neither the County nor the California charter specifies how long they would have to pick a replacement.

The appointee would serve as district attorney spot until the next election in 2026. Afterwards, either they, if they run and win, or a newly elected candidate would serve the rest of Price’s six-year term until 2029. Price is unique as the only district attorney wo serves a term of six years.

The Board acknowledged that they knew last fall that this recall would come with its own set of complications when Measure B, which changed the local recall charter to match California’s, was first brought to their consideration.

Supervisors Nate Miley and David Haubert opposed discussing the measure, stating that the public would think that the Board was attempting to influence the recall campaign that had already taken off months prior.

“I think ultimately this feels like it’s going to end up in court, one way or the other, depending on who files what,” Haubert said.

Price’s legal team told the Post that the district attorney intended to consider all legal options should the recall election take place.

Miley stated that while he was in support of the amendment to the charter, he did not think it was right to schedule it for the March ballot as it would ultimately cause confusion for everyone involved.

“It has produced some legal entanglements that I think, potentially, could’ve been avoided,” Miley said.

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Bay Area

Obituary: Former California Education Superintendent Delaine Eastin Passes at 76

Delaine Eastin, who served as a former state Assemblymember representing parts of Santa Clara and Alameda County — and the first woman elected as State Superintendent of Public Instruction — died at age 76 on April 23. Eastin passed away from complications caused by a stroke.

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Former California Education Superintendent Delaine Eastin.
Former California Education Superintendent Delaine Eastin.

By California Black Media

Delaine Eastin, who served as a former state Assemblymember representing parts of Santa Clara and Alameda County — and the first woman elected as State Superintendent of Public Instruction — died at age 76 on April 23.

Eastin passed away from complications caused by a stroke.

Known for her power of persuasion, Eastin used her influence to be a champion for bipartisan issues that helped raise academic standards, lower class sizes, and emphasize the importance of conserving nature and the environment in schools.

Former Assembly Speaker Willie Brown and fellow legislative colleagues said that Eastin was in demand on the speech circuit while serving as a legislator.

“Few could engender the kind of emotion and passion she delivered in every speech,” Brown said.

State superintendent Tony Thurmond called Eastin a trailblazer who inspired fellow public servants.

“California lost an icon in our school system today. Delaine Eastin’s legacy as a trailblazer in public education will forever inspire us. Her unwavering dedication to California students — from championing Universal Preschool and the “A Garden in Every School” program to honoring our educators by establishing the California Teachers of the Year Awards — has left an indelible mark on our state’s educational landscape,” said Thurmond.

Thurmond honored Eastin’s legacy at the California Teacher of the Year Program, an honor that she established during her time as superintendent.

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Bay Area

Zefer O’Neal Ward, 105

Zefer O’Neal Ward transitioned from this life on Feb. 19. She was 105 years old. A native of Pine Bluff, Arkansas, Zefer was the sixth of George and Zora O’Neal’s 14 children. Her joy of singing began at home at the tender age of 4 by being placed on a table and being asked to sing a song. By age 13, she was a member and directress of the youth choir at St. Paul Baptist Church. Zefer attended Merrill High School and Arkansas State College in Pine Bluff, Arkansas.

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Zefer O’Neal Ward. Courtesy photo.
Zefer O’Neal Ward. Courtesy photo.

By Post Staff

Zefer O’Neal Ward transitioned from this life on Feb. 19. She was 105 years old. A native of Pine Bluff, Arkansas, Zefer was the sixth of George and Zora O’Neal’s 14 children. Her joy of singing began at home at the tender age of 4 by being placed on a table and being asked to sing a song. By age 13, she was a member and directress of the youth choir at St. Paul Baptist Church. Zefer attended Merrill High School and Arkansas State College in Pine Bluff, Arkansas.

In 1945, Zefer made her home in Oakland, California, where she established deep roots. It was in 1950 that she married the late William “Bill” Ward. That same year, she joined Downs Memorial Methodist Church under the esteemed leadership of Rev. Roy C. Nichols, where her angelic voice soon became a cornerstone of the church’s 8:30 a.m. worship service.

She went on to lend her voice and talents to various choirs in the church including the gospel choir and the formulation of the children’s choir under the guidance of the late Rev. Amos Cambric Jr.

Zefer’s gift of song extended far beyond the walls of her church. For decades, she brought solace and inspiration to countless souls through her performances at funerals, weddings, concerts, conventions and church programs throughout the Bay Area.

Her unparalleled artistry even graced the ears of the late Robert F. Kennedy during a performance at the University of California, Berkeley. To quote her, “I have been involved with singing all my life. Singing is a joy for me. Every time I sing, I pray that I will bring joy to someone. I know that the Lord has used me to touch and bless someone … singing is my life, my joy.”

Surviving Zefer are her two children; Norma Ward-Sledge, CEO and co-founder of Progressive Transitions, Inc. a program in Oakland that has become a beacon of hope for women and families affected by domestic violence and human trafficking; and William Wilson, of Raleigh, North Carolina, a retired business owner. She also leaves behind her sister Minnie O’Neal of Dupont, Washington, two grandsons both of Raleigh, North Carolina and a host of nieces and nephews.

In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests contributions be made to Progressive Transitions, Inc., an organization that Zefer passionately supported.

There will be a “Memorial Tribute to Zefer” at 11 a.m. on Saturday, June 1 at Downs Memorial United Methodist Church, 6026 Idaho St. in Oakland.

A follow-up event, “Celebrating the Legacy of Lady Z,” will be held on June 22 at Z Café, 2735 Broadway Oakland at 2 p.m.

Please RSVP for this event via text or call (510) 917-0666.

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